The Fish Tank

I couldn't go to sleep. I was wide awake at midnight and if you know me well, you know I usually fall asleep around nine. I read, caught up on some shows, and finally turned everything off in order to try and get some shut eye. The moment I shut my eyes, my mind began racing; of course. I decided to pray for two reasons. First, I know some people are hurting in a big way right now and they need big prayers. Second, prayer makes me sleepy. Maybe there's a calming peace that washes over us when we pray. Either way, I knew I needed to talk to God. I began praying for the victims of Saturday's storms. Tornadoes whipped through North Texas so fast and with such vengeance, the storm chasers I follow on social media could not keep up with posting the warnings. People lost everything: their lives, their homes, their pets. I started praying for peace and hope and then I started praying for the church. As I was praying, I realized that the very words I was speaking were exactly w

And Mary said, "My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for He has been mindful of the humble state of his servant." Luke 1:46 I had just finished helping with Grady and Wyatt's school Christmas parties. I headed over to Jackson's classroom and helped set-up for his party. I had a few minutes to spare before the kids came back, so I checked my phone. I was surprised to see a missed call and voicemail from Scott. We usually text throughout the day rarely talking on the phone. Plus, he knew where I was and usually doesn't call or text me when I am at the boys' school. Somehow seeing that missed call, I knew something wasn't right. I listened to the voicemal. "Hey Meg, it's me. Something interesting just happened. Give me a call back. Love you!" His voice didn't sound steady like it usually does. I tried calling back to no avail. I tried again. And again. And again. I had completely forgotten that he was drivi

It's no secret that I LOVE a good project. Scott and I dream of owning a ranch house and some property one day. I joke that we'd be great at doing a big renovation but we may not make it out alive. We've been through two big construction projects building our house and redoing our backyard. To say we hit some bumps in the road through the process is an understatement. My friend was baffled by the crazy stuff we've gone through. I told her I was beginning to think it was me. I do not always wear my Sunday best when dealing with contractors. I try but man, it's tough. All this craziness had me wondering if we were really having construction issues or I was just being ridiculous. Are you making waves in your life blaming others or life circumstances instead of taking ownership? I despise conflict. Truly, I do. I would rather have a smile on my face than a fist in my hand. I am wired for peace not conflict. However, like most people, I have had my fair share of issues

My eldest was acting mopey. He said his throat hurt and couldn't go to school. Thinking he may have strep or some other sickness, I kept him home even though he didn't have a fever. About an hour into our morning, he came into to ask me where his shoes were and told me he felt well enough to go to school. Off he went to school magically feeling like a million bucks. He came home from school happy and healthy but then the dragging and mopey behavior started. We were all outside playing, Grady and Scott throwing some baseballs, when I noticed Jack slip inside. I went inside and asked if he wanted to go on a walk. We like our walks together and I thought it might cheer him up. We started out on our usual route when I asked him if he wanted to cut through the fire road. The city built a small road that cuts through the pasture that divides our neighborhood with the next one. The road is fenced off with a "No Trespassing" sign. You can easily unlatch the gate (it need

I am a freak-out girl. Drop some bad news on me, tell me big change is on the horizon, or give me a tornado warning and I become all kinds of crazy. My dad will tell you of many moments when I would fall on the bed in a slump crying about whatever was ailing me. He would patiently listen to my woes and cries. He would then tell me to take twenty-four hours to process whatever it was I was struggling with; everything is a little lighter the next day. I learned to instill the "Randy 24" and allow myself some time to freak out and then breath. I still have a tendency to go into freak-out mode. Even in all my faith, I crumble. I was driving the other day reminiscing about those lovely moments of complete and utter lack of self-control and the loss of all logic. I gawked at myself a little ashamed. Surely I should have matured enough in life and in my faith to not freak out as much in adulthood. While I have settled down a little, I still have my moments. What I have learned fro

Peace on earth. Good will to man. We here these words a lot during Christmastime. Peace. Good will. It's the common theme this time of year. Yet this world seems to crush peace and good will with its brutality. The Earth trembles at peace; cowers at good will. Life is brutal. Life is also beautiful. Glennon Doyle likes to refer to life as "brutiful." That couldn't be any more evident today. Another tragedy filled our TV screens this afternoon. Many of us gasped at another horrific crime against beautiful innocent people. We begin ranting about what could've, should've, would've. We attack and support one another all in the same breath. Brutiful. Life is brutiful. What do we do with these gut-wrenching calamities? How do we respond? Become numb? Blame the government? Blame the crazies? Create new laws? Curse God? Let's talk about God. Can we get one thing straight when it comes to Him? While He can stop and do whatever He wants, He doesn't force

Scott and I are blessed with some pretty good kids. Generally, they listen and respect authority, they do well in school, and are overall healthy thriving boys. We broke up the occasional spat over someone taking someone else's toy or being in someone's space but, overall, they got along...until about a year ago. Goodness gracious Lord Almighty! What on earth happened? All of a sudden our days are filled with sending kids into their own corners to cool down. And you might as well throw self-control out the window because everything is a race or competition so you better get out of their way when they enter church: CHURCH PEOPLE. We had a marvelous week off together last week. I love having time off together. I really do. Time is so very precious to me and I like to breath in these moments together because they fly by. However, by Thursday (Thanksgiving), the sweet obedient children turned into WWF wrestlers who suddenly lost their hearing. They could not, for the life of them

Since I was a kid, I have always loved to write. I had countless journals and would doodle all day long. I remember in sixth grade I wrote the first and last name of the boy I had a crush on over and over again on the brown paper cover of my book. I love words. They litter the walls of my home. My dad once said to me that he saw me writing a book someday. I thought he was crazy. Although I am a wordy person and love to write, I am, like most people, my own worst critic. I don't hear or see the value of my words. Most of the time I see the numerous grammatical errors and passive voice. I remember meeting with my professor when I was writing my project for my masters. The theme was the same at each meeting: the content was great. I just needed to work on grammar and passive voice. I haven't changed much. I still like to talk passively and flip back and forth from present to past tense. It is who I am and I know I am flawed. The past two weeks have wrecked me a little inside. Th