The Fish Tank

I am prideful. I like compliments and when people tell me they like my outfit, or how I decorate my house, or that my kids are good kids and I am doing a good job it feels good. I like when people are proud of the way I serve. It just plain feels good. There is nothing like a compliment or pat on the back. You feel accomplished and like maybe, just maybe, you are doing something right. God, however, desires us to serve and live with a humble heart and spirit. "When you do good deeds, don’t try to show off. If you do, you won’t get a reward from your Father in heaven. When you give to the poor, don’t blow a loud horn. That’s what show-offs do in the meeting places and on the street corners, because they are always looking for praise. I can assure you that they already have their reward. When you give to the poor, don’t let anyone know about it. Then your gift will be given in secret. Your Father knows what is done in secret, and he will reward you." Matthew 6:1-4 God asks ...

I know I swore off social media for Passion week but technically this blog is my journal. I will post this entry to Facebook because I feel like someone needs to hear this or, can at least relate. I don't think anything is by accident. I do believe accidents happen but there is a design to it all. I was standing in my bathroom looking into my ridiculously full closet and thought back to a conversation I had with two girlfriends that afternoon. We were talking about our desires and love to chase after the "more:" more stuff, more clothes, more house, you get the idea. We see everyone around us in these stupidly big Texas-sized homes taking these elaborate vacations wearing the perfectly styled outfit with their Pinterest snacks and crafts for their kiddos and feel like we are behind in the race. Quite frankly, we will NEVER win that race and it DOES. NOT. MATTER. “Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This i...

"I realized I wanted to see the whole body moving instead of just doing my part. I wanted to know the ins and outs of what I was affecting, and a little diagram of potential issues headed my way would be awesome. I wanted the scientist's view. I wasn't given that, and it wasn't by accident." Angie Smith I was on my knees in Grady's room crying harder than I probably ever have begging our great Lord for my precious boy. You see, I had been through two miscarriages, one being at the end of the first trimester with a baby that had Downs. Grady's room sat empty and I desperately wanted it filled. I knew deep down in my heart that Jackson was meant to be a big brother and not an only child but after the way things were going, that looked bleak. I begged and cried and begged some more. I am sure I promised God the moon too. God did eventually bless us with Grady and then blew our socks off with Wyatt; our bonus baby that we weren't planning on but now know...

"She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her." Proverbs 3:15 I took this verse completely out of context but I love it all the same. Solomon is speaking of wisdom here, but when I think of something being equated to the beauty of rubies, I think of how God looks at us; specifically us women. So often I look to everything everywhere before I look to God. I look to social trends, what is or isn't accepted. I look to my husband or others in my church. I look to those that have the same college degree as me, live similar, or think the same. I compare, fret, envy. I become insecure because there is always, ALWAYS, someone better. Rarely do I look to God for validation. I kept myself up one night asking why I look everywhere but to the One who created me to find my security; my validity in who I am. Psalm 139:13 says, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." He created me knowing me far more int...

I am prideful. I am a gossip; overly opinionated. I fail others everyday. I look to things and not to Him. I am disrespectful and not always submissive. Yet, He loves me. "But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with me even the worst of sinners. Then others will realize that they too can believe in Him and receive eternal life." 1 Timothy 1:16 1 Timothy 1:16 is typically not the verse that is presented when someone is coming to salvation. However, I feel this verse encompasses everything we believe. I am reading a book that touched on salvation. The author discusses how the church (if I may be so bold) has, in a way, missed the boat on salvation. No where in the Bible do we read the sinners prayer. There is also no verbiage in the good Book about accepting Jesus into our hearts. While I believe these tools help those who do not know Jesus and give them an opportunity to come to Him, I think our salvation is so mu...

Have you ever done something just so you didn't feel left out? You went to a dinner or get together already way over-committed. You had no real desire to go but you didn't want to be the only girl who didn't belong or wasn't there. I am totally this girl. I have been there, done that. I commit for the mere fact of being part of the group; feeling part of something. I recently decided to make some changes in my life. Nothing too grand but changes nonetheless. If you know me, you know I am NOT a change girl. No-siree-bob. I like to know what's coming and have a schedule. A few years ago I was forced into change. There was a situation in my life where, for the betterment of my family and I, I had to make some hard and serious changes. I knew that if I made these changes and I was honoring God He would open new doors into a new chapter and He did in a mighty and tremendously wonderful way. He molded me into a new person and I am forever grateful for the change that oc...

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 15 Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else." 1 Thessalonians 5:11-14 These are some super packed verses. Insecurities, judgment, fear, belonging, trying to be something we are not, pride, expectations. Us ladies can be so tough on one another. We make lousy friends and encouragers at times. Guys even tell their friends to, "stop being a chick" and this got me to thinking. God calls us to encourage each other building one anot...