The Fish Tank

Man alive, it's been quite a week. Well, last week was quite a week. Today was just a day. Interesting how things get murky and difficult when you decide to step out. Before the new year, I tried to find a new word for myself. I wanted something to proclaim going into 2016 but I came up blank. I had nothing. Nada. The year was starting out in a boring slump. And then I began to listen to a book on audio (I was going to say tape but then I would have aged myself). This book talks about having audacious faith. Ah. There it is. My word: AUDACIOUS. I would like to think I am a pretty resilient person. Knock me down and I will get back up. Tell me I can't do something and I will try my hardest to prove you wrong. But sometimes I get tired and I don't want to get back up. I am worn out and ragged and have nothing more to give and then I hear this word. Audacious : showing a willingness to take surprisingly bold risks. It's time; time for me to be a risk taker. Time fo...

It's easy to believe God is great. He is the God of the universe who placed every star in the sky. He created the sun, moon, water, land, animals, and us humans. The words, "God has done great and mighty things," rolls off our tongues with ease. We see or hear about a miracle and proclaim His greatness. We witness a stunning sunset and declare His greatness in the masterpiece of the skies. God's greatness is not easily disputed and readily accepted. But what about His goodness? This one hit home for me. I can easily state that God is great. But good? Hmmmm. That's a little more complicated. God's goodness is a little more difficult to believe. We struggle to say He is good when our news feeds are inundated with horrific tragedies. Heck, we can take a quick look at our own lives and not be able to find His goodness. I have come to learn that God's goodness and greatness go hand-in-hand. You cannot have one without the other. If He is great, He is also g...

I got home from the gym and running errands hungry and a little tired. I desperately needed a shower but I had to get the milk in the fridge and meat in the freezer. My lunch sat on the counter taunting me as my stomach growled. I finally got all the groceries put away and everything cleaned up. But, there was one more thing I needed to do before I could sit down and eat. I went around and lit my candles. Sounds silly, but the moment I lit those candles, my blood pressure came down. I realized in that moment that I needed space. "Be still and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10 A friend and I were talking the other day and she was telling me that she has just discovered that she needs about one hour per week to herself. Time to be away from the family and life's responsibilities and just be. I totally understood where she was coming from. We know we need space but oftentimes, we don't allow it. God was onto something when he told us to be still. He knew that we are...

There's something that happens deep within when you accept Jesus. It's unexplainable...kind of like having kids. You just can't put into words all the feelings. It's as if time stands still and everything is spinning all at the same time. It's electric, full of peace, yet terrifying all in the same moment. There's something about finding that Jesus. I want more of that. One can accept the free gift of salvation through a simple prayer. Believe he is who he says he is and he did what he says he did for you and there you go. Life goes on and Jesus sits in your back pocket. He's there to call on when you are in the pit and have nowhere else to go. He's beside you when you are jumping up and down ecstatic. But, is there more? I sure hope so. I want to cross over. I want to go from salvation to relation. I want Jesus to be more than a back pocket prayer. I want him to walk alongside me in the everyday; the beautiful mess of a life I live. Many of us don...

I am going to talk to all the ladies about some baggage I've been carrying around. Guys deal with this stuff, too, it's just a little different. When I was younger there were three of us girls that were thick as thieves. As one can imagine, however, threes a crowd and one of us was left out from time to time. That someone was usually me. I was younger and tended to be a little bossy and annoying. As an adult, I can see why I was left out. However, it still hurt and I carry that insecurity to this day. Have you ever wondered why people will drop everything, or so it seems, for certain friends but you get left in the dust? You show up to as much as you possibly can supporting your posse of gals yet when it comes to something for you all you hear are crickets? Just me? Well, every once in awhile I find myself in a funk and wonder what they've got that I am lacking? I assume something must be wrong with me otherwise I would receive the same caring, kind, loving, VIP treatment...

I was sitting at Starbucks typing away and doing some research when a party of four sat down next to me. It was crowded and the tables were close. The two couples chatted about general life stuff for the first ten minutes or so. Yes, I was eves-dropping. Like I said, they were sitting VERY close. The conversation then turned serious. One of the men needed to talk through some junk that was happening at their church. He began expressing concern about how the church was using their finances and how the pastoral staff was leading the congregation. The discussion continued and I had to leave. I didn't hear how they handled their issues or if they came to any resolution. I've heard many church conversations before: the church hurt someone, ignored someone, back-stabbed another, didn't meet the needs for a particular person, and so on. This little church debate in Starbucks got my mind spinning: What is the role of the church anyway? I first went to church with a friend in high...

I was tired, worn out, and a little cranky. It was about 11pm; hot and sticky outside. The shuttle was taking forever to pick us up and the kids were getting cranky. Most of the group already left deciding to walk to their cars instead of wait for the shuttle. I had three kids by myself and thought no way they could handle the long jaunt to the car this late. I didn't want to have to carry one kid and give another a piggy back ride because their legs got tired. Time continued to pass and still no shuttle. Finally, I told the two little guys to grab my hands and my oldest to stay close and off we went. It was late and dark and we had to walk through a huge overgrown field and cross train trucks to get to the parking lot. I didn't know if there were chiggers or snakes in that field, but by golly, we were going to cross it with confidence. The four of us were the only walkers left. Everyone had already made it to their cars and headed out. I was determined to get us all safely to ...