The Fish Tank

Fifteen years. Seems like a lifetime. Seems like a blink of an eye. Scott and I were married 15 years ago. We had a six year dating adventure before we walked down the aisle. While I feel like we have been together for a lifetime and I cannot remember my life without him by my side, I know we are still babies in this journey. I have learned so many things through marriage: about myself, about others, about love. We are in a season where some of the marriages around us are sadly ending. Some are shocking and eye-opening to how it can happen to any of us. I started looking inward to see what is working between Scott and I wanting to see what is making our marriage work so we can stay healthy. Here are some things I found when I searched our relationship: Respect: We fully respect one another. And when we don't, we call each other out and are humble enough to accept responsibility, ask forgiveness, and make the proper changes within ourselves. Respect takes personal sacrifice and I...

You know what I love? Normalcy. Summer brings the freedom from crazy schedules, long summer days, and last minute plans. It begs us to play in the water and eat far too many snow cones (or shaved ice or snow balls depending on where you reside). Summer beckons us to achieve sun-kissed cheeks and stay up late to watch the fireflies leaving the normal everyday crazy schedule behind. We long for the lazy days of summer as the school year comes to a close itching to turn the alarm off. Suitcases lie in wait hoping to be filled ready to go somewhere tropical or mountainous. Pools sparkle in the hot sun waiting for a canon ball. Summer is sweet; a welcomed reprieve. I was making the boys eggs the other day while drinking my coffee. We had just come off of a week of going here-there-and-everywhere. For some reason, this summer does not feel lazy. We took off from the gates into activities and vacation. I am not one to fill our summers with camps and commitments. The kids need a break from t...

I feel like this is the summer of moving. Every time I turn around, another friend announces her time here has come to an end and she and her family are moving to a new city. Each time I hear the news is bittersweet. I am excited for their families, but will feel a void from their absence. I would love to keep everyone I love close. No one would move away and we would all live happily ever after together. But, that's not reality. I saw a picture of my friend celebrating the contract on her house and I was happy for them but a little sad that they would be leaving soon. I have known her for years and even though we don't hang out all the time, I still love her presence in my life. As much as I would love to hold everyone hostage and build a commune, I need to let them go. I want others to experience the blessings that are in my life. If they stay here, the world outside of North Texas will never know their awesomeness. We limit ourselves when we say no to moving; to leavin...

Every new year, many of us make goals hoping the better ourselves. We plan to workout, eat healthier, work harder at our jobs, or try something new or challenging. We are out to "fix" ourselves because, let's face it, we can all use a little improving every now and again. We were all created with certain quirks and goodness. We tend to see our strengths as those things that hinder. Our goals for improvement focus on the very essence of our being. We try to manipulate ourselves to fit what culture, our surroundings, our friends, and our loved ones say. We think our unique intricacies are limiting instead of valuable. We strive to make ourselves better trying to shed the skin we were meant to live in. I have a challenge for you and me: find out who you are, embrace it, and celebrate the heck out of it. Make a list about you. List all of your qualities: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Get to know yourself and accept that you were made exactly that way on purpose. Stop t...

I turned 39 in May. My last year in my thirties. I have absolutely loved my thirties. I feel I have found myself here. I have learned what matters and what I can leave behind. I have discovered the true meaning of friendship and holding tight to that tribe that wants to be in my life. I have grown more deeply in love with my husband and enjoyed watching my boys come into their own. I am going to mourn my thirties when they finally pass. Not because I am fearful of aging. Rather, I am going to mourn that season that was so deep, so wide and so good. I am looking forward to my forties. I have friends who have crossed over and I am witnessing such freedom in their lives. I still long for that freedom in some areas. Just because I learned great deal about myself in my thirties does not mean that I don't have much to learn still. One thing I am learning is how to treat myself. For so long, my focus and emphasis to my physical health was how I looked on the outside. If I am thin enough...

I am following a blogger's 40th birthday extravaganza in Cabo on her instastories. Her mission is to help us make the life we've got a little more beautiful. She is there with her husband and seven other couples. I am going to be forty next year. So, her stories got me to thinking: who would I want in Cabo with me if I went for my birthday? Honestly, I have a lot of friends. I have many people in my life who I enjoy their company and comment on their Instagram pictures. But, who are the people that know me? Who are the ones that check on me regularly? Listen to me because they truly care? Sacrifice their time for me? Who is my tribe? I don't know. I know I have people that would come running no questions asked in a crisis. I am blessed with a tribe of mamas who help me raise my crazy boys. I know I have people who like me. But, who are the people that feed my soul? I don't know. I mean, I know who these people are, but, I don't utilize them well. Let me ...

Headlines. They are meant to grab us; to get our attention. Sometimes they are jolting. Other times, they are uplifting. I used to wake up every morning and turn on The Today Show. I liked feeling connected and informed. I would have the news on in the background while I was getting ready for work kind of listening kind of tuning out. When I started having babies, the news was my connection to the outside world. I remember staring at the female anchors with their make-up and hair done thinking, "One day I will be put together again" kind of like Humpty Dumpty. I really liked being in the know. As the boys got older and more needy, I would watch the first fifteen to thirty minutes of The Today Show. I needed the headlines. I needed to know what was going on outside my front door. My oldest got to the age where he was actually hearing what was on TV and so I had to limit my news exposure. Once I took a step back, I realized how much better I felt when I limited my news cons...