I watched my friend of 24 years sob over her mother like I had never heard before in all the years I've known her. From heart ache to divorce to a deployed husband (multiple times), I have never heard her wail like this. Her mother is 59, far too young to be at this stage, and they were told there was nothing more the doctors could do. Hospice or an answered miracle call was all that was left. Through her wailing and sobbing she asked the whys and we all stood there in silence also wondering why such a beautiful woman's life had come to this. Why couldn't it be the convict or the abuser? I couldn't answer the whys then and I still can't. All I could do for her was pray, love on her, and give her a verse I had read that morning before we made our way to the hospital.
"So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed , for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand." Isaiah 41:10
God does not tell us the why bad things happen but he does tell us not to be afraid; to stand firm in Him when there is trouble, because there will be trials BUT He will always be with us. We, in our humanness, or at least mine, need reasons and explanations. We need things to blame and a way to understand. Understanding calms our souls and helps us muddle through the murk. God, however, does not always give us understanding. He desires me to know Him not always understand Him. Sometimes the confusion, darkness, and silence are the best times in our faith walk where we feel closest to Him.
I have sat on the mystery of God for almost four weeks now. From my friend's mother being critically ill to someone making a nasty comment about how horrible God must be in the midst of all the tornadoes that reeked havoc on the south to two small boys passing away in tragic accidents to my (almost) eight year old asking me at dinner why we don't know how God and the heavens began, the mystery of God has been plaguing me. I cannot answer the whys of all those questions. I just can't But you know what, I have peace about His mysteries because I have such a deep trust and faith in Him that Heaven is tangible to me and this life, this world, is temporary. I can give you the quintessential Christian answers like, "All things work together for good; even the bad stuff." And, "Life is a puzzle and we won't see it complete until the end." However, that doesn't always give us the hope we need nor does it help us understand the tragedy at hand.
I think, for me, I need to stop rationalizing, or trying to rationalize, life when I am knee deep in the mud and feel like there's no end in sight. I need to stop trying to understand Him and begin knowing Him-His spirit, His character, His righteousness, His vastness, His glory, His GREAT love...and I need to rest, rest in this:
"Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty? They are higher than the heavens--what can you do? They are deeper than the depths of the grave--what can you know? Their measure is longer than the earth and wider than the sea." Job 11:7-9
Oh my good gravy! These verses send chills down my spine and overfill my soul. What comfort in these words! God is SO beyond my comprehension. Even when things truly, madly, deeply suck He is STILL God! To know and trust that He is in control of what seems like a spiraling situation that makes absolutely no sense is beyond me and fills me with such undeserved peace.
"No, we declare God's wisdom, a mystery that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began." 1 Corinthians 2:7
I will declare His mysteries as good even when, in my human understanding, they seem so so bad because His glory shines brighter than all the bad this world has to offer. I will raise my hands in worship of a Holy God who loves me more than I could ever comprehend through the mysteries that I do not understand. I will rest in He who created me and remember that we live in a fallen world full of great joys and true sorrows.
"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1
I will dwell in Him and rest under His wings.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
"So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed , for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand." Isaiah 41:10
God does not tell us the why bad things happen but he does tell us not to be afraid; to stand firm in Him when there is trouble, because there will be trials BUT He will always be with us. We, in our humanness, or at least mine, need reasons and explanations. We need things to blame and a way to understand. Understanding calms our souls and helps us muddle through the murk. God, however, does not always give us understanding. He desires me to know Him not always understand Him. Sometimes the confusion, darkness, and silence are the best times in our faith walk where we feel closest to Him.
I have sat on the mystery of God for almost four weeks now. From my friend's mother being critically ill to someone making a nasty comment about how horrible God must be in the midst of all the tornadoes that reeked havoc on the south to two small boys passing away in tragic accidents to my (almost) eight year old asking me at dinner why we don't know how God and the heavens began, the mystery of God has been plaguing me. I cannot answer the whys of all those questions. I just can't But you know what, I have peace about His mysteries because I have such a deep trust and faith in Him that Heaven is tangible to me and this life, this world, is temporary. I can give you the quintessential Christian answers like, "All things work together for good; even the bad stuff." And, "Life is a puzzle and we won't see it complete until the end." However, that doesn't always give us the hope we need nor does it help us understand the tragedy at hand.
I think, for me, I need to stop rationalizing, or trying to rationalize, life when I am knee deep in the mud and feel like there's no end in sight. I need to stop trying to understand Him and begin knowing Him-His spirit, His character, His righteousness, His vastness, His glory, His GREAT love...and I need to rest, rest in this:
"Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty? They are higher than the heavens--what can you do? They are deeper than the depths of the grave--what can you know? Their measure is longer than the earth and wider than the sea." Job 11:7-9
Oh my good gravy! These verses send chills down my spine and overfill my soul. What comfort in these words! God is SO beyond my comprehension. Even when things truly, madly, deeply suck He is STILL God! To know and trust that He is in control of what seems like a spiraling situation that makes absolutely no sense is beyond me and fills me with such undeserved peace.
"No, we declare God's wisdom, a mystery that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began." 1 Corinthians 2:7
I will declare His mysteries as good even when, in my human understanding, they seem so so bad because His glory shines brighter than all the bad this world has to offer. I will raise my hands in worship of a Holy God who loves me more than I could ever comprehend through the mysteries that I do not understand. I will rest in He who created me and remember that we live in a fallen world full of great joys and true sorrows.
"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1
I will dwell in Him and rest under His wings.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
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