Conflict is okay. Let me say that again: conflict is OK. For so long I did not like conflict. My palms would get sweaty, my hands would shake, and my heart would race a million miles a minute. I wanted everything to be sunshine and lollipops where we all smiled at one another holding hands and skipping down the street. Well, that is not reality. We are human and free thinkers. We are also sinners.
I was in church a few Sundays ago singing, "To our God we lift up one voice, to our God we lift up one song." I picked up my journal and began frantically writing down everything that was pouring into my mind; to the point where Scott stopped and looked at what I was doing. I could not stop thinking and writing about conflict all the while a worship song about unity was playing. I wrote those notes and stuffed them into my journal thinking on them throughout the coming weeks. I knew I needed to journal this topic out on my blog but kept putting it off. The laundry needed to be done and the kids needed entertaining. I let distraction sneak in. And then, today, wouldn't you know, I was faced with conflict. We were at the splash pad when I watched a woman approach my friend's kids and begin yelling at them. I sat and watched her to make sure she was in fact yelling at them and not just correcting their supposed poor behavior. Sure enough, she was yelling at them loud enough that I could hear her clearly clear across the splash pad area. Of course my heart started pounding and palms got sweaty as I knew I had to get up and approach the situation knowing there would be a conflict. I calmly talked to the frantic woman who ended up leaving our "conversation" (she was really yelling at me) by screaming an obscene word (thankfully she caught herself midway thru) and storming off. Did I want this conflict? Absolutely not! I looked for ways to avoid it. Trust me. However, I knew it was necessary. There were children involved.
When the conflict ended the boys involved and my own kids needed affirmation and really, an explanation. They didn't understand why that mommy was so upset and why she had to yell. When all was said and done, I am hoping and praying that these sweet boys learned how to handle conflict appropriately. They saw one person yelling and one person talking. They witnessed that conflict does in fact exist and we have to figure out how to handle and deal with it in a healthy way. They also learned that there is a good way to handle conflict and a not so good way. I don't want my kids to be scared of conflict like I was for so long. I want them to know that they will butt heads with others and that is alright. It's all in how we handle the conflict that matters.
Conflict is a major theme throughout the Bible. We see conflict in the very beginning in the book of Genesis all the way through the New Testament. We read about conflict with God and man, conflict with man and man, and conflict between nations. Conflict can be messy and laced with sin but there is always, ALWAYS, something to garner from it. I feel that God allows conflict to enter our lives sometimes to move us onto something better. Scott was not a Christian when we started dating. He also told me he never wanted to have children or get married. Of course in my little 18-year old mind I thought I could change him so I stayed with him knowing these things would eventually cause conflict. He came to me after a few years of dating and told me that he couldn't give me what I wanted; i.e. marriage, kids, and churchy stuff. Of course I was devastated even though I knew he was right and fought him on it. There were other pending issues but ultimately, we broke up. Amidst that conflict, Scott was saved. I don't know if Scott would have journeyed toward the Lord had that conflict between he and I never happened.
I am not a psychologist and am not licensed to counsel people. I am aware that there is healthy conflict and very unhealthy conflict. One thing I do know for sure is that we can always learn and grow no matter what is pulling at us or how. Growing up I experienced many volatile moments. They were not always the healthiest. However, I learned and gained so much through all that pushing and pulling. Conflict can bring pain but it doesn't mean it lacks His glory even in all the messy sin intwined arguments. Next time you are facing conflict, don't look at it as a negative pain in your side. Instead, look at it as a tool from God helping us to understand ourselves and others better. Just because we are supposed to be unified in Christ does not mean we have to be the same person. He didn't design us that way. Those differences can cause conflict but they also can work together to create the most beautiful symphony ever heard.
To our God we lift up one voice,
To our God we lift up one song,
To our God we lift up one voice singing hallelujah
Let all our crazy roads be different but lead in unity to sing the most beautiful song to our God.
Love & Blessings,
Megan
I was in church a few Sundays ago singing, "To our God we lift up one voice, to our God we lift up one song." I picked up my journal and began frantically writing down everything that was pouring into my mind; to the point where Scott stopped and looked at what I was doing. I could not stop thinking and writing about conflict all the while a worship song about unity was playing. I wrote those notes and stuffed them into my journal thinking on them throughout the coming weeks. I knew I needed to journal this topic out on my blog but kept putting it off. The laundry needed to be done and the kids needed entertaining. I let distraction sneak in. And then, today, wouldn't you know, I was faced with conflict. We were at the splash pad when I watched a woman approach my friend's kids and begin yelling at them. I sat and watched her to make sure she was in fact yelling at them and not just correcting their supposed poor behavior. Sure enough, she was yelling at them loud enough that I could hear her clearly clear across the splash pad area. Of course my heart started pounding and palms got sweaty as I knew I had to get up and approach the situation knowing there would be a conflict. I calmly talked to the frantic woman who ended up leaving our "conversation" (she was really yelling at me) by screaming an obscene word (thankfully she caught herself midway thru) and storming off. Did I want this conflict? Absolutely not! I looked for ways to avoid it. Trust me. However, I knew it was necessary. There were children involved.
When the conflict ended the boys involved and my own kids needed affirmation and really, an explanation. They didn't understand why that mommy was so upset and why she had to yell. When all was said and done, I am hoping and praying that these sweet boys learned how to handle conflict appropriately. They saw one person yelling and one person talking. They witnessed that conflict does in fact exist and we have to figure out how to handle and deal with it in a healthy way. They also learned that there is a good way to handle conflict and a not so good way. I don't want my kids to be scared of conflict like I was for so long. I want them to know that they will butt heads with others and that is alright. It's all in how we handle the conflict that matters.
Conflict is a major theme throughout the Bible. We see conflict in the very beginning in the book of Genesis all the way through the New Testament. We read about conflict with God and man, conflict with man and man, and conflict between nations. Conflict can be messy and laced with sin but there is always, ALWAYS, something to garner from it. I feel that God allows conflict to enter our lives sometimes to move us onto something better. Scott was not a Christian when we started dating. He also told me he never wanted to have children or get married. Of course in my little 18-year old mind I thought I could change him so I stayed with him knowing these things would eventually cause conflict. He came to me after a few years of dating and told me that he couldn't give me what I wanted; i.e. marriage, kids, and churchy stuff. Of course I was devastated even though I knew he was right and fought him on it. There were other pending issues but ultimately, we broke up. Amidst that conflict, Scott was saved. I don't know if Scott would have journeyed toward the Lord had that conflict between he and I never happened.
I am not a psychologist and am not licensed to counsel people. I am aware that there is healthy conflict and very unhealthy conflict. One thing I do know for sure is that we can always learn and grow no matter what is pulling at us or how. Growing up I experienced many volatile moments. They were not always the healthiest. However, I learned and gained so much through all that pushing and pulling. Conflict can bring pain but it doesn't mean it lacks His glory even in all the messy sin intwined arguments. Next time you are facing conflict, don't look at it as a negative pain in your side. Instead, look at it as a tool from God helping us to understand ourselves and others better. Just because we are supposed to be unified in Christ does not mean we have to be the same person. He didn't design us that way. Those differences can cause conflict but they also can work together to create the most beautiful symphony ever heard.
To our God we lift up one voice,
To our God we lift up one song,
To our God we lift up one voice singing hallelujah
Let all our crazy roads be different but lead in unity to sing the most beautiful song to our God.
Love & Blessings,
Megan
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