You can't run from people. You just can't. They will catch up with you. Whether it be in your dreams, old memories, stories others tell, gossip you hear, or you see them at the market. The people in your life that matter or mattered and somehow something went south are still there even when they are gone.
I was thirty years old when my parents separated and eventually divorced. While shocking, it wasn't a huge surprise. I remember having to make that phone call to my dad after I had heard the news. He wasn't in the best place (I will share his story of redemption at a later time). I was terrified to call him. I was scared what I may find out. I wanted to run; run far away and pretend like I didn't know. I thought running was easier. If I ran from this problem and from my dad I wouldn't be subjecting myself to potential gut-wrenching rip-your-heart-out pain. I didn't know what I would hear on the other end of that phone line and that scared me. So, I ran; for awhile. I will never forget the day I finally got up the courage to call him. I was sitting at our square eight seater kitchen table in the chair closest to the backdoor. It was a sunny day. Jackson was at preschool so I had a moment alone. I remember everything about that day. I also remember the hope I garnered after I made that call. He was okay and going to be fine. All the anguish I had caused myself by running away from the what-ifs were ridiculous. I think the running caused me more pain than the calling. I often wonder what my relationship with my dad would look like today had I actually followed thru and completely run away. It grieves me to even imagine not having what I have today because of the maybes I feared in the past.
You can't run from people. God doesn't want us to run. Look at the story of the prodigal son. He ran from his father to do his own thing. He sinned and went wild. What did his father do when this kid realized he had made the wrong choice and wanted to return home? He threw a party for his son and welcomed him arms open wide no questions asked. God does the same thing for us. He opens His arms of grace and runs to us while we walk slowly heads bowed in shame. God doesn't want us running from Him nor does He desire for us to run from people who grieve us. There is power in reconciliation. Peace is found when we walk towards one another in grace.
I know relationships are hard, ugly, and extraordinarily messy. I also know that we make half the stuff up. We fear the unknown. How will they react to me? Will they reject me? Tell me off? Will my heart break because I cannot bear one more heart break? The answer is, we don't know until we reach out and try to love on them. What I have learned is that the more you run the more you are plagued by that person. A dark hole begins to form and can never really be filled. That hole slowly grows wider the farther you try to run.
Pick-up the phone. Walk humbly to that person you once loved and held dear. God is in that. He desires us to be relational even in the rough stuff.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
Luke 15:11-32
Then he said, “There was once a man who had two sons. The younger said to his father, ‘Father, I want right now what’s coming to me.’“So the father divided the property between them. It wasn’t long before the younger son packed his bags and left for a distant country. There, undisciplined and dissipated, he wasted everything he had. After he had gone through all his money, there was a bad famine all through that country and he began to hurt. He signed on with a citizen there who assigned him to his fields to slop the pigs. He was so hungry he would have eaten the corncobs in the pig slop, but no one would give him any. “That brought him to his senses. He said, ‘All those farmhands working for my father sit down to three meals a day, and here I am starving to death. I’m going back to my father. I’ll say to him, Father, I’ve sinned against God, I’ve sinned before you; I don’t deserve to be called your son. Take me on as a hired hand.’ He got right up and went home to his father.“When he was still a long way off, his father saw him. His heart pounding, he ran out, embraced him, and kissed him. The son started his speech: ‘Father, I’ve sinned against God, I’ve sinned before you; I don’t deserve to be called your son ever again.’“But the father wasn’t listening. He was calling to the servants, ‘Quick. Bring a clean set of clothes and dress him. Put the family ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then get a grain-fed heifer and roast it. We’re going to feast! We’re going to have a wonderful time! My son is here—given up for dead and now alive! Given up for lost and now found!’ And they began to have a wonderful time.“All this time his older son was out in the field. When the day’s work was done he came in. As he approached the house, he heard the music and dancing. Calling over one of the houseboys, he asked what was going on. He told him, ‘Your brother came home. Your father has ordered a feast—barbecued beef!—because he has him home safe and sound.’“The older brother stalked off in an angry sulk and refused to join in. His father came out and tried to talk to him, but he wouldn’t listen. The son said, ‘Look how many years I’ve stayed here serving you, never giving you one moment of grief, but have you ever thrown a party for me and my friends? Then this son of yours who has thrown away your money on whores shows up and you go all out with a feast!’“His father said, ‘Son, you don’t understand. You’re with me all the time, and everything that is mine is yours—but this is a wonderful time, and we had to celebrate. This brother of yours was dead, and he’s alive! He was lost, and he’s found!’”
I was thirty years old when my parents separated and eventually divorced. While shocking, it wasn't a huge surprise. I remember having to make that phone call to my dad after I had heard the news. He wasn't in the best place (I will share his story of redemption at a later time). I was terrified to call him. I was scared what I may find out. I wanted to run; run far away and pretend like I didn't know. I thought running was easier. If I ran from this problem and from my dad I wouldn't be subjecting myself to potential gut-wrenching rip-your-heart-out pain. I didn't know what I would hear on the other end of that phone line and that scared me. So, I ran; for awhile. I will never forget the day I finally got up the courage to call him. I was sitting at our square eight seater kitchen table in the chair closest to the backdoor. It was a sunny day. Jackson was at preschool so I had a moment alone. I remember everything about that day. I also remember the hope I garnered after I made that call. He was okay and going to be fine. All the anguish I had caused myself by running away from the what-ifs were ridiculous. I think the running caused me more pain than the calling. I often wonder what my relationship with my dad would look like today had I actually followed thru and completely run away. It grieves me to even imagine not having what I have today because of the maybes I feared in the past.
You can't run from people. God doesn't want us to run. Look at the story of the prodigal son. He ran from his father to do his own thing. He sinned and went wild. What did his father do when this kid realized he had made the wrong choice and wanted to return home? He threw a party for his son and welcomed him arms open wide no questions asked. God does the same thing for us. He opens His arms of grace and runs to us while we walk slowly heads bowed in shame. God doesn't want us running from Him nor does He desire for us to run from people who grieve us. There is power in reconciliation. Peace is found when we walk towards one another in grace.
I know relationships are hard, ugly, and extraordinarily messy. I also know that we make half the stuff up. We fear the unknown. How will they react to me? Will they reject me? Tell me off? Will my heart break because I cannot bear one more heart break? The answer is, we don't know until we reach out and try to love on them. What I have learned is that the more you run the more you are plagued by that person. A dark hole begins to form and can never really be filled. That hole slowly grows wider the farther you try to run.
Pick-up the phone. Walk humbly to that person you once loved and held dear. God is in that. He desires us to be relational even in the rough stuff.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
Luke 15:11-32
Then he said, “There was once a man who had two sons. The younger said to his father, ‘Father, I want right now what’s coming to me.’“So the father divided the property between them. It wasn’t long before the younger son packed his bags and left for a distant country. There, undisciplined and dissipated, he wasted everything he had. After he had gone through all his money, there was a bad famine all through that country and he began to hurt. He signed on with a citizen there who assigned him to his fields to slop the pigs. He was so hungry he would have eaten the corncobs in the pig slop, but no one would give him any. “That brought him to his senses. He said, ‘All those farmhands working for my father sit down to three meals a day, and here I am starving to death. I’m going back to my father. I’ll say to him, Father, I’ve sinned against God, I’ve sinned before you; I don’t deserve to be called your son. Take me on as a hired hand.’ He got right up and went home to his father.“When he was still a long way off, his father saw him. His heart pounding, he ran out, embraced him, and kissed him. The son started his speech: ‘Father, I’ve sinned against God, I’ve sinned before you; I don’t deserve to be called your son ever again.’“But the father wasn’t listening. He was calling to the servants, ‘Quick. Bring a clean set of clothes and dress him. Put the family ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then get a grain-fed heifer and roast it. We’re going to feast! We’re going to have a wonderful time! My son is here—given up for dead and now alive! Given up for lost and now found!’ And they began to have a wonderful time.“All this time his older son was out in the field. When the day’s work was done he came in. As he approached the house, he heard the music and dancing. Calling over one of the houseboys, he asked what was going on. He told him, ‘Your brother came home. Your father has ordered a feast—barbecued beef!—because he has him home safe and sound.’“The older brother stalked off in an angry sulk and refused to join in. His father came out and tried to talk to him, but he wouldn’t listen. The son said, ‘Look how many years I’ve stayed here serving you, never giving you one moment of grief, but have you ever thrown a party for me and my friends? Then this son of yours who has thrown away your money on whores shows up and you go all out with a feast!’“His father said, ‘Son, you don’t understand. You’re with me all the time, and everything that is mine is yours—but this is a wonderful time, and we had to celebrate. This brother of yours was dead, and he’s alive! He was lost, and he’s found!’”
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