The Fish Tank

1. My friendship with God 2. My wedding day 3. My husband 4. The day Jack was born 5. My now crazy little toddler 6. My family 7. My friends 8. Jackson's laugh 9. The sweet smell of Jack after a bath 10. When Jackson and Gavin crack up together (and Elijah's smile) 11. My health (and the health of my family) 12. Sleep:) (Jack's been teething for what seems like forever now so sleep is not always guarenteed) 13. My new home and the one that will always be apart of me even though we have moved far away

The beautiful days when I had Jackson all to myself curled up inside me:) Jackson at around three months. So cute; so tiny. Happy 20-month day! What a big boy you are!!!

I must begin by admitting that I woke up today with much trepidation and a lot of fear. Fear for the future and what it does or doesn't hold. Fear that this may happen again or we may have a sick baby. But, I got up. I got ready and went through the motions of getting Jack ready for Jungle Gym. On our way to his gym class I began to pray aloud, as I do every morning on our way to our daily adventure. Jackson usually just sits in the back playing with his toys, unfazed. This time, however, was different. He called "mommy mommy." I told him I was praying and asked him if he wanted to pray. He said, "ok." So, I asked to say the following prayer: "Thank You, Jesus, for this day. Amen!" He said it perfectly and excitedly! I have had the song "More Than Enough" stuck in my head for a few days. I've been thinking about the words, "All of You is more than enough for all of me, for every thirst and every need..." I've been pondering ...

I was cleaning the house yesterday while Jackson was playing upstairs when all of a sudden I heard him say "hold you." I looked up, his chubby cheeks pressed against the banister, saw his sweet face, and heard him say again "hold you." I told him I'd hold him in a minute because mommy had to finish cleaning. I continued my chores as he began to whine and instead of getting frustrated that he was not going to let me get my stuff done I began to realize how stupid I was being. How much longer is my son going to ask me to hold him? If I ignore this request I am missing out on one of the greatest blessings in life: holding your child. So, I put down my duster, went upstairs, and held my son. I smelled his sweet hair and rubbed his head while we watched his show. In this precious moment I began to think how easy it was for me to get back into my trivial routine. God has shown me how to appreciate life in such a renewed way through our loss but yet I let the mundane s...

Life with a toddler is interesting. No longer can you lay your sweet little baby on the bed or in the bouncer while you get ready. NO...instead you get a crazy little troll rummaging through all your cabinets, drawers, and closets while you take the fastest shower known to man hoping that your little angel hasn't managed to drink any chemicals or escape the house. Below you will find what my precious baby boy did while I tried to get ready for the day...by the way, I'm not sure where Scott was during all this:) In this pic Jackson has gotten into my mascara. I must admit that I did see him with it but thought that there was no way the little bugger could open it. I guess that I didn't realize that I was raising He-Man. He had mascara on his cheek, in his hair, and on his teeth. Nice! Now this I can tolerate but I don't think Scott was too keen. Jackson got into my hair accessories basket and began piling headbands on around his neck. I am lucky he didn't hang himsel...

Hi All! I never thought this would be a page where I'd just post my thoughts. I always thought it would be an "Ode to Jackson." Well, I've decided to take another moment to share my thoughts and feelings at this time. Sorry if I begin to ramble:) I have always been asked to shorten my writings by teachers and professors. Anyway, I want to start by thanking all of you. Gosh, I really don't even know what to say other than I hope that I can love all of you the way you have loved me and my family. I have never experienced such love and support before in my life! I know that I would not be able to work on overcoming this without your prayers, love, and support. I am praying that I to may be able to one day be a blessing to each and every one of you and love you as tremendously as you have loved us. I am so underserving! The other thing I wanted to share was some words of wisdom a dear friend shared with me. I woke up today to a pretty encouraging email. The words remi...

With all that is going on with our "trial" God sends us little blessings to get through each day. Jackson has been such a reminder of God's goodness and grace. I don't know what I'd do without him(or Scott). Here are some pictures of our little blessing:) "Cheese!" Jackson has been anti-hat lately. It is freezing out here and he needs a hat but quickly takes it off right after we put it on. Well, after dinner on Saturday night Jackson decided to put his hat on himself and began to say cheese before we even turned around. It was hilarious because he couldn't get the hat on all the way so we were cracking up and he was just so proud that he put his hat on himself. I guess the trick is to make putting the hat on his decision! Achoo! In this photo Jackson decided his lunch plate would be his hat. Here Jack said "achoo" to get the plate off his head. He learned this beautiful trick at MyGym...thank goodnes for them:) Okay, so first I have to say...

As Scott and I endure the most difficult trial of our lives, I can't help but be grateful. Admist the pain and tears there are so many good, I mean great, things in our lives. As I was tossing and turning in the middle of the night, I began praying and thanking God for the many blessings He has bestowed upon our lives. He is so good even in the midst of pain. I would like to share thirteen of the thousands of things I am grateful for. 1. God: my Deliverer, my strength, my redemption, my friend 2. My faith; without which I would be completely lost. 3. My husband: He has been my rock and best friend for the past 12 years. I fall more deeply in love with him everyday. 4. Jackson: Oh my sweet baby boy! What on earth would I do without my little angel sent from Heaven. I am so thankful for the smile he brings to my face each day no matter what I have faced. 5. My family: Their unconditional love and support in my life has made me the person I am today and I couldn't be more proud. T...

We were having dinner tonight and all of a sudden Jackson started pulling on my arm and saying something that sounded like "hot." Scott and I thought he was asking me if I was hot in my sweater. But, as we listened more intently, we realized that he was saying "hug." He wanted a hug from me. Not because he wanted to get out of dinner or anything else. He just wanted a plain old simple hug from his mommy; the very first hug he's ever asked for. Of course I FLEW out of my chair to give my sweet boy a hug. He even gave me some love pats on my back and would not let go! I would've stayed in my awkward squat-position hugging me sweet precious baby boy all night if he'd let me! Tonight reminded me of the simplicity of God's blessings. I will (hopefully) never forget the first moment my son asked me for a hug:)

Jackson has been on a no-sleep schedule for the past week. He is getting some teeth and I am hoping this is the cause. Yesterday Jackson would not go down and kept escaping from his room. He has learned how to pull and pull on his child-proof doorlock until it pops off. So much for child-proof. To get him to go down yesterday Scott laid with him in our bed until he fell asleep. After his nap he slowly meandered out of our bedroom on his own. This is what we got... Still sleepy after a 2 hour nap. Maybe he should've napped in his own bed! I just can't get over the hair! We kept calling him "Einstein" all afternoon because if his crazy hair. I think I leave his hair long for moments like these. He's clueless as he's saying "cheese" smiling for the picture!!!:)

This is Jackson at 6 months old doing what most 6 months old's do...eating their feet! Today, Jackson thought it was hilarious to try to bite his sock and pull it off. At one point he was laying on the ground with his foot in his mouth pulling on his sock with his teeth. It resembled the picture above. He seems to have become more advanced in his foot eating skills. This is Jackson today. Yes, he is biting his sock trying to get it off. Not much has changed:)

Jakob and Jackson coloring together:) Gavin and Jackson hanging out on the stairs