The Fish Tank

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6 I like to follow various people on Instagram mostly for the sake of inspiration. Their words and pictures give me hope and, for the most part, bring a smile to my face. Scott and I were driving home from a little getaway. I was scrolling through my feed when a former priest showed up. He talked about how he is no longer a priest nor does he believe in God after many many years of believing and serving the church. His reasons were valid and understandable. He saw so many tragic things during his years of faith that he could not understand a God that would allow such horror. I sat on that drive home and pondered this for a good long time. I could not get this man nor all the commenters out of my head. My heart broke for each and every one of them and I realized how easily we all get this so very wrong. I am fairl...

I would like to say I am the girl who remains calm and steadfast going to God in prayer in all situations for all things. Sadly, I am not her. I am the girl that you will find in the fetal position crying like a woman trying to get out of a speeding ticket. I find myself shedding tears and stomping my feet thinking that maybe, just maybe, I will get my way. I chase God in moments of uneasiness instead of resting in His steadfastness. Oh, how I long for and am striving to be the girl who knows Him in such an intimate way that nothing, nothing, can rock my world to the point of a hissy fit. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. " Jeremiah 29:11 I have held tightly to this verse for 18 years. You would think it would be embedded on my heart in such a way that I would rest in it every single time things got rocky. Even though this verse is home to me, I do not always rea...

Conflict is okay. Let me say that again: conflict is OK. For so long I did not like conflict. My palms would get sweaty, my hands would shake, and my heart would race a million miles a minute. I wanted everything to be sunshine and lollipops where we all smiled at one another holding hands and skipping down the street. Well, that is not reality. We are human and free thinkers. We are also sinners. I was in church a few Sundays ago singing, "To our God we lift up one voice, to our God we lift up one song." I picked up my journal and began frantically writing down everything that was pouring into my mind; to the point where Scott stopped and looked at what I was doing. I could not stop thinking and writing about conflict all the while a worship song about unity was playing. I wrote those notes and stuffed them into my journal thinking on them throughout the coming weeks. I knew I needed to journal this topic out on my blog but kept putting it off. The laundry needed to be don...