I would like to say I am the girl who remains calm and steadfast going to God in prayer in all situations for all things. Sadly, I am not her. I am the girl that you will find in the fetal position crying like a woman trying to get out of a speeding ticket. I find myself shedding tears and stomping my feet thinking that maybe, just maybe, I will get my way. I chase God in moments of uneasiness instead of resting in His steadfastness. Oh, how I long for and am striving to be the girl who knows Him in such an intimate way that nothing, nothing, can rock my world to the point of a hissy fit.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. " Jeremiah 29:11
I have held tightly to this verse for 18 years. You would think it would be embedded on my heart in such a way that I would rest in it every single time things got rocky. Even though this verse is home to me, I do not always reach in it's direction. I'd rather plant myself in my self-pity and cry it out or text a friend to garner her support. I have this fairy tale life planned out in my head: finish college at 22, start my career, get married, have two kids by 26, and live happily ever after. I am sure God giggled a bit when I spoke this plan out loud. I read my words and laugh. While I do believe it is good to have a plan and direction, I was way too specific and far too iron-clad in my plans. When things veered off course a bit and I didn't have two kids by 26, I stomped my feet. What I didn't realize in that moment, and the moments to come, was that extraordinary things were happening in the supernatural for my life that I could not see in the natural. God was planning and scheming a tremendous story for my life but, you see, it did not match my carefully crafted road map. Because He was not hitting my markers, I was shaken. I caused more pain and grief for myself chasing after a life I thought was best, all the while He was creating His masterpiece for me but I couldn't see it.
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us..." Ephesians 3:20
Contentedness. I struggle here sometimes; a lot of times. I want things; not always material things but things for my life. When those things don't materialize when I think they should, I become discontent and in comes the waves of tears and feet stomping. I chase a life that He never intended for me thinking my timing and order is perfection not His. I forget He is able to go well beyond what my wee little mind can fathom and if I rest in His goodness, His promises, His truth, His never changing character than maybe I'd save myself some of the grief. I make things way too difficult. I look back on my journey and while I am appreciative of the road I've traveled, I can see the places where I curved off the path when I could have remained with Him.
Thankfully I serve a God of grace and mercy. He allows for my processing and hissy fit throwing. He knows His daughter will eventually return to Him. He knows I need to work things out purging the ugly to get to the beautiful. I love that about our God; absolutely LOVE that! I will continue to stomp my feet and shed my tears but in those moments I hope I run to Him and rest in His peace remembering that this life and world are not the end. I will believe that while things may not be going as I have planned or that friend got that job or vacation that I wished I could have He has a better story for me. I will rest in Him even in the midst of the hissy fit.
"God, the one and only—
I’ll wait as long as he says.
Everything I hope for comes from him,
so why not?
He’s solid rock under my feet,
breathing room for my soul,
An impregnable castle:
I’m set for life.
My help and glory are in God
granite, strength, and safe harbor God
So trust him absolutely, people;
lay your lives on the line for him.
God is a safe place to be." Psalm 62: 5-8
Love & Blessings,
Megan
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. " Jeremiah 29:11
I have held tightly to this verse for 18 years. You would think it would be embedded on my heart in such a way that I would rest in it every single time things got rocky. Even though this verse is home to me, I do not always reach in it's direction. I'd rather plant myself in my self-pity and cry it out or text a friend to garner her support. I have this fairy tale life planned out in my head: finish college at 22, start my career, get married, have two kids by 26, and live happily ever after. I am sure God giggled a bit when I spoke this plan out loud. I read my words and laugh. While I do believe it is good to have a plan and direction, I was way too specific and far too iron-clad in my plans. When things veered off course a bit and I didn't have two kids by 26, I stomped my feet. What I didn't realize in that moment, and the moments to come, was that extraordinary things were happening in the supernatural for my life that I could not see in the natural. God was planning and scheming a tremendous story for my life but, you see, it did not match my carefully crafted road map. Because He was not hitting my markers, I was shaken. I caused more pain and grief for myself chasing after a life I thought was best, all the while He was creating His masterpiece for me but I couldn't see it.
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us..." Ephesians 3:20
Contentedness. I struggle here sometimes; a lot of times. I want things; not always material things but things for my life. When those things don't materialize when I think they should, I become discontent and in comes the waves of tears and feet stomping. I chase a life that He never intended for me thinking my timing and order is perfection not His. I forget He is able to go well beyond what my wee little mind can fathom and if I rest in His goodness, His promises, His truth, His never changing character than maybe I'd save myself some of the grief. I make things way too difficult. I look back on my journey and while I am appreciative of the road I've traveled, I can see the places where I curved off the path when I could have remained with Him.
Thankfully I serve a God of grace and mercy. He allows for my processing and hissy fit throwing. He knows His daughter will eventually return to Him. He knows I need to work things out purging the ugly to get to the beautiful. I love that about our God; absolutely LOVE that! I will continue to stomp my feet and shed my tears but in those moments I hope I run to Him and rest in His peace remembering that this life and world are not the end. I will believe that while things may not be going as I have planned or that friend got that job or vacation that I wished I could have He has a better story for me. I will rest in Him even in the midst of the hissy fit.
"God, the one and only—
I’ll wait as long as he says.
Everything I hope for comes from him,
so why not?
He’s solid rock under my feet,
breathing room for my soul,
An impregnable castle:
I’m set for life.
My help and glory are in God
granite, strength, and safe harbor God
So trust him absolutely, people;
lay your lives on the line for him.
God is a safe place to be." Psalm 62: 5-8
Love & Blessings,
Megan
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