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Mommy Grace

I was at Trader Joe's with all three boys. We were checking out and it was taking quite a bit of time. The boys were being really good but definitely being boys. Translation: they could not stand still if their lives depended on it. I did my mama duty getting down to their level reminding them of appropriate store behavior. The woman who was checking us out made a comment to me about how patient I was with them. I don't know if that was her telling me my boys are crazy and I should have lost my marbles by now or if it was just a nice compliment. Whatever the motive, it felt good. Of course, the moment we got home, the boys became wild banshees jumping on the couch, fighting with one another, and doing their best impression of WWF. In that moment, my patience quickly evaporated and I may have lost those marbles.

What I have learned as a mama is that grace is a necessity. You cannot parent if you cannot give yourself some grace. I took the older two older boys roller skating today. Thankfully, Scott was working from home and could keep Wyatt so I wasn't totally overwhelmed. There were LOTS of tears and frustrations at the roller skating rink. Jack and Grady take after their mama wanting to know how to do something right away rather than work through the frustrations that come from working towards mastery. They yelled, they cried, they quit, and they got back up. I knew I needed to push them through in love. I knew I couldn't let them give up entirely because I knew they could skate if they continued to get back up after their falls. So, I postured back and forth between each boy wiping away tears, getting yelled at out of frustration, and encouraging them to get back up. It was EX-HAUST-ING. Each time I sat down with one of them I would pray as I consoled. I had to or I would quit as a parent and we would pack up and head home. I could not parent in that moment without the grace of God upon my shoulders.

I can look back at many moments in my life where I failed horribly as a mom. I was quick to anger instead of slow. I said the wrong thing; made the wrong choice. I yelled instead of whispered. So many failures. Too many to count. Yet, we've had some victories too. It's easy to forget those good mama moments because the guilt of the bad ones envelopes them. I also think it's tough for us women to look upon ourselves in a positive way. We've learned that complimenting ourselves is a sign of being conceded yet, I believe it's necessary and a sign of grace. We have the tough parenting moments to keep us humble and the good parenting moments to keep us going.

I could have easily failed at the skating rink. I could have yelled. I could have torn the boys down. I could have given up and headed home. Yet, something inside me kept me calm and collected. God's grace worked in that moment because I called on Him. He helped me get those boys back in the rink and led us to end on a high note for the day. It was a good day; a good mama moment.

When I have parenting fails, I allow guilt to sneak in. I am hard on myself and feel lower than low. But, I don't allow myself to stay there for too long. I give myself grace. I turn to God and learn from my mistakes. I humbly ask my boys for forgiveness (a lot) and we move on. Funny how resilient and forgiving they are while I struggle to forgive myself. God gives me grace why can't I give myself the same? So, the next time I fall flat on my face as a parent, I will humbly go before my Saving Grace asking forgiveness and learn from my mistake. Then, I will let it go and give myself some of that beautiful grace that frees us from bondage.


"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Love & Blessings,
Meg

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