I hate prunes. Everything about them. The taste. The texture. The smell. Prunes are not appetizing to me AT ALL. Fitting God would prune me. I know I need to be pruned but most times, I don't like the process. I have been broken, bruised, pushed, pulled, and drug through the mud throughout my life. The past six months were and continue to be a season of pruning for me and trust me, many tears have been shed. Often times I fight against the pruning until God gives me that one moment, a brief glimpse of grace and reminder that He's got this.
There are so many things I have learned during these months being poked, prodded, and moved. I find peace in knowing none of this is being done in vain. There is a greater purpose. I know with all that I am that I am being pruned for something greater. There is meaning to the pain, frustration, and even great joy. I find rest in John 11:40...Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?" I believe and can attest to seeing His glory even through the pruning.
With all that being said, this is what I have learned thus far..
Everything you live, everything you are and experience has a purpose and is purposeful by God. As much as it hurts, He has designed this for something greater. This life and all that you are experiencing is only a spec preparing you for the greater eternity. How you handle moments like these will have an eternal impact. It hurts. Sometimes it's supposed to hurt. I don't know why because I can't see beyond this, but what I do know as He's dragged me through the trenches is that I have to stop living for this life and all the things in it whether blessed or deprived and, instead, live with eternity in mind. How I handle joys, sorrows, trials, etc. matter. I, too, plead to God sometimes asking "What am I doing wrong" or "Why is someone who is not being faithful to you being blessed?" However, I have to think beyond that. Maybe this is all they get. Maybe this is their blessing. Your reward in Heaven is SO much greater than this. I often struggle with only being able to see this life. It's too hard to see eternity and we don't know what it holds. Our minds can't fathom the greatness of eternity. Yet I know there are those who all they get is what they have here on earth. I would rather have an eternity of abundant blessing.
Although my mountain may not be yours, God has opened my eyes and heart to something beyond this life and this world. It absolutely terrified me at first and still gives me anxiety to think of life without my boys and my husband but He wants us to live this way. We make idols of the things in our lives even though we don't think we do. They come before Him. That mindset needs to change and He needs our focus and attention. We think we're giving it to Him but really, we're not. I can't tell you that you will get everything you want in this life. What I do know and can tell you is when you put Him at the center of your life and truly make Him your all surrendering and giving up everything, He will shine a great peace and abundant blessing on you.
Blessings,
Megan
Grady Steven Fish 7lbs. 3oz. 19 1/2inches April 25, 2009 4:45pm SURPRISE! Actually, I think absolute shock is more appropriate! This was me a week ago...happy at 36 weeks pregnant with not much happening. I thought for sure that I had at least 2 weeks left, if not four. I did, however, frantically run around town that day getting all the things I thought I needed to get just in case. Good thing I am a little neurotic and OCD because it paid off a few days later. I have had contractions on and off since I was 25 weeks pregnant or so. I never thought anything of them because they were so sporadic and fairly painless. Friday camearound and I noticed that I was having more contractions than usual. Grady was still moving about so I didn't worry much. Around 2:30pm that day I laid down because the contractions were coming on a little stronger and closer together. I called Scott to let him know and honestly, to see when he was coming home from work. Jackson was still napping and I wasn...
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