"Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't"
Sanctus Real
I was sitting on the airplane reading, "My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife" getting those strange looks from those around me because I was reading a book about a woman being submissive. Gasp! I read a line in the book that struck me to the core; to a place so deep inside me I didn't even know it existed. The author quoted the great Beth Moore who said, "You are not your husband's Holy Spirit." Holy hallelujah and amen. This statement could not be closer to the truth and man, was it freeing beyond belief.
Scott and I were newly married: a young know-it-all 20-something wife and a 30-something husband trying to find his way leading his new found family of two. We were at lunch at a Mexican food restaurant with our pastor and his wife; the pastor that married us. We wanted to purchase a home but the California real estate market was quite intimidating. Scott could not fathom paying half a million dollars for a condo and had suggested to me that we look at homes in other states. I'll never forget crying my eyes out sitting on our tiny apartment kitchen counter when he told me this. My life was in Southern California. My roots and everything I knew to be were there. I hadn't taken a risk yet with the man who was supposed to lead me and I was scared to make the jump. I'll always remember what our pastor said at that lunch meeting. He quoted Genesis 2:24, "This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." He went on to tell us how it was time for me particularly to let go of my roots and trust my husband. There is a reason this verse is found in Genesis and again in Matthew and Ephesians.
Throughout our 12 years of marriage I have had countless conversations with Scott asking him to lead me. I had needs and felt he was not meeting them. I also had a vision of what him leading me looked like. However, when I read that statement that I was NOT my husband's Holy Spirit I was awakened. I realized right then and there that Scott had in fact been leading me this entire time. From purchasing homes, moving out of state, to having kids, finances, and daily decisions, Scott has led. He has always led. But, I failed to see his lead. And in my failure, I tried to become his Holy Spirit telling him how he should lead me because, in my mind, I knew best. I couldn't see or feel him leading me because I was looking for a leader that I created not the leader God intended for me. God created Scott to lead me exactly as I need. God knows me better than I know myself and He knows how I need to be led. When I look back over the 18 years Scott and I have been together, I now can see that he has always led me even when we were dating. He leads me quietly and humbly through selfless service to me and our family. He always has. It just took 12+ years to see it.
I was standing in my closet that I converted into a storage/craft closet reading some of my favorite writings from Scott. I have a few of them hanging in there that I like to read occasionally to remind me how much my husband loves and leads me. I felt a little different as I read his letters and poetry today. I felt a deep sense of gratitude and security. These weren't just words jotted down in haste on a page. These words were him leading me.
Now that I see how Scott leads me, I can rest. I don't have to be on this continual hunt for the perfect Christian leader that I have concocted in my head because I have him. He isn't perfect, just as none of us are, but he is perfect for me. So now, when I hear Sanctus Real's song about a husband leading his wife and family I will thank God that He created the perfect leader for me.
"Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone"
So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?
To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up
I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone
Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone"
Sanctus Real
God leads Scott. Thus, Scott leads me. I am thankful.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
Stand up when I can't"
Sanctus Real
I was sitting on the airplane reading, "My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife" getting those strange looks from those around me because I was reading a book about a woman being submissive. Gasp! I read a line in the book that struck me to the core; to a place so deep inside me I didn't even know it existed. The author quoted the great Beth Moore who said, "You are not your husband's Holy Spirit." Holy hallelujah and amen. This statement could not be closer to the truth and man, was it freeing beyond belief.
Scott and I were newly married: a young know-it-all 20-something wife and a 30-something husband trying to find his way leading his new found family of two. We were at lunch at a Mexican food restaurant with our pastor and his wife; the pastor that married us. We wanted to purchase a home but the California real estate market was quite intimidating. Scott could not fathom paying half a million dollars for a condo and had suggested to me that we look at homes in other states. I'll never forget crying my eyes out sitting on our tiny apartment kitchen counter when he told me this. My life was in Southern California. My roots and everything I knew to be were there. I hadn't taken a risk yet with the man who was supposed to lead me and I was scared to make the jump. I'll always remember what our pastor said at that lunch meeting. He quoted Genesis 2:24, "This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." He went on to tell us how it was time for me particularly to let go of my roots and trust my husband. There is a reason this verse is found in Genesis and again in Matthew and Ephesians.
Throughout our 12 years of marriage I have had countless conversations with Scott asking him to lead me. I had needs and felt he was not meeting them. I also had a vision of what him leading me looked like. However, when I read that statement that I was NOT my husband's Holy Spirit I was awakened. I realized right then and there that Scott had in fact been leading me this entire time. From purchasing homes, moving out of state, to having kids, finances, and daily decisions, Scott has led. He has always led. But, I failed to see his lead. And in my failure, I tried to become his Holy Spirit telling him how he should lead me because, in my mind, I knew best. I couldn't see or feel him leading me because I was looking for a leader that I created not the leader God intended for me. God created Scott to lead me exactly as I need. God knows me better than I know myself and He knows how I need to be led. When I look back over the 18 years Scott and I have been together, I now can see that he has always led me even when we were dating. He leads me quietly and humbly through selfless service to me and our family. He always has. It just took 12+ years to see it.
I was standing in my closet that I converted into a storage/craft closet reading some of my favorite writings from Scott. I have a few of them hanging in there that I like to read occasionally to remind me how much my husband loves and leads me. I felt a little different as I read his letters and poetry today. I felt a deep sense of gratitude and security. These weren't just words jotted down in haste on a page. These words were him leading me.
Now that I see how Scott leads me, I can rest. I don't have to be on this continual hunt for the perfect Christian leader that I have concocted in my head because I have him. He isn't perfect, just as none of us are, but he is perfect for me. So now, when I hear Sanctus Real's song about a husband leading his wife and family I will thank God that He created the perfect leader for me.
"Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone"
So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?
To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up
I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone
Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone"
Sanctus Real
God leads Scott. Thus, Scott leads me. I am thankful.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
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