Scott was standing on our ice-covered grass talking to our warranty guy and his boss's boss. I could remotely hear them talking while Wyatt and I were in the kitchen making cookies. I felt that feisty fire begin to well up inside me and prayed a little prayer. I then left my three year old to man the mixer and headed outside. I don't think I even had shoes on and it was near zero degrees that day. Flashback a few days earlier. Scott was working away in his office when a box of books randomly fell over. When he went to lift the box it was soaking wet. Our wall was leaking from the melting ice on our roof and the warranty department didn't want to fix the problem. They were adamant that this was a fluke situation, that our houses aren't built for ice since it doesn't happen often in Texas (we have had some sort of ice or snow every year since we moved here seven years ago), and told us to call our home owners insurance company. Quite frankly, I was done with our builder's antics (this was not our first rodeo with this type of situation where there was an issue with the building of this home) and while I was mixing eggs and sugar with my boy listening to their nonsense I was DONE. So, I marched my little barefoot self out onto my icy freezing cold porch and laid into the two men. I tried my best to be a good Christian but know in the moment I probably got a little too fired.up I can tell when I start allowing my feistiness take over by the look on Scott's poor face. You see, I wasn't upset about the leak. I was upset because they would not for the very life of them take ownership or any type of responsibility for their actions. There was no apology for the millionth issue we had had where we had to fight them to fix it. There was no effort to fix the problem at hand; only blame. It was our problem not theirs and they were not going to budge.
This situation is common. It may not look the same, but we deal with this a lot. How often have I refused to humble myself and deny ownership of my actions? I am so passionate about this topic today that I honestly prayed that God would calm my soul as I type. I don't want to be a finger pointer. I do, however, desire healthy relationships for myself, my family, and everyone, really, and I think the topic of ownership needs to be hashed out.
Have you ever sat on something because you knew in your heart-of-hearts that you were right. You would not budge because they were wrong and you were right and you were going to stand in your corner, arms folded, lips pierced, feet grounded until they realized their wrongness. By golly, you could stay in that angry right state forever for all you care. The other person was wrong. Period. Here's another situation for you to ponder. Has someone told you that you hurt them to some capacity and you were unaware that you had done anything wrong? You weren't going to apologize because, in your mind, you didn't do anything and they needed to get over it and apologize to you for calling you out on something you didn't even know you did. Or how about this: someone holds you accountable or sees a particular behavior that is hurting your relationship and they confront you about it. Instead of taking their wisdom, talking it out so you better understand, and taking some time to look at the reflection in the mirror to see what they are talking about you run; you leave because it is SO much easier to walk away than take ownership for your actions when sometimes they can be ugly and hurtful.
Looking at ourselves hurts sometimes. Admitting wrong or asking forgiveness means we have to drop our pride. Ouch. That's tough. But that's exactly what God asks us to do.
"Humble yourself before the Lord and He will lift you up." James 4:10
Humility: the opposite of pride. I look at Jesus' life and He is the epitome of humbleness. I think about this whole issue of forgiveness and it really has nothing to do with saying sorry. It starts with ownership. In every disagreement each side can apologize for something. There is always an area to learn and grow especially in the area of relationships with one another. Relationships are messy and they will never be healthy until we can look at ourselves and take ownership of our actions not worrying about blaming the other person. As I try and wrap my head around forgiveness I really think it has absolutely nothing to do with the "I'm sorry" and everything to do with humility. God's word says that as we humble ourselves He lifts us up yet we lift ourselves up through pride and more often than not, fall flat on our faces. We become angry, hurt, bitter, and alone.
I don't want to become a bitter person all alone standing in my rightness just for the mere sake of proving someone else wrong. I would rather go humbly to them and own my piece. I desire to own my actions whether I was aware I committed them or not; whether I think they are right or not. It really isn't about who is right or wrong or who needs to apologize first. Both people can be absolutely right in a situation. It is all about perspective. It's about humility: humbly going to another person, owning your actions, and asking how you can move forward growing in your relationship with them, and, most importantly, your walk with the Lord. I believe in my heart of hearts that until we humble ourselves in our earthly relationships we will never be right with God. Oh yes, He has saved and forgiven us but we will miss out on some of the exceptional blessings He wishes to bestow on our lives because we are stuck in pride. Most importantly, we will miss out on a more intimate relationship with Him. I don't want to risk that. I want to live humbly with others so that I may live right with Him.
Thanks for bearing with me and listening to my rant. I hope we all take a moment to look at the reflection staring back at us today.
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139: 23-24
Love & Blessings,
Meg
This situation is common. It may not look the same, but we deal with this a lot. How often have I refused to humble myself and deny ownership of my actions? I am so passionate about this topic today that I honestly prayed that God would calm my soul as I type. I don't want to be a finger pointer. I do, however, desire healthy relationships for myself, my family, and everyone, really, and I think the topic of ownership needs to be hashed out.
Have you ever sat on something because you knew in your heart-of-hearts that you were right. You would not budge because they were wrong and you were right and you were going to stand in your corner, arms folded, lips pierced, feet grounded until they realized their wrongness. By golly, you could stay in that angry right state forever for all you care. The other person was wrong. Period. Here's another situation for you to ponder. Has someone told you that you hurt them to some capacity and you were unaware that you had done anything wrong? You weren't going to apologize because, in your mind, you didn't do anything and they needed to get over it and apologize to you for calling you out on something you didn't even know you did. Or how about this: someone holds you accountable or sees a particular behavior that is hurting your relationship and they confront you about it. Instead of taking their wisdom, talking it out so you better understand, and taking some time to look at the reflection in the mirror to see what they are talking about you run; you leave because it is SO much easier to walk away than take ownership for your actions when sometimes they can be ugly and hurtful.
Looking at ourselves hurts sometimes. Admitting wrong or asking forgiveness means we have to drop our pride. Ouch. That's tough. But that's exactly what God asks us to do.
"Humble yourself before the Lord and He will lift you up." James 4:10
Humility: the opposite of pride. I look at Jesus' life and He is the epitome of humbleness. I think about this whole issue of forgiveness and it really has nothing to do with saying sorry. It starts with ownership. In every disagreement each side can apologize for something. There is always an area to learn and grow especially in the area of relationships with one another. Relationships are messy and they will never be healthy until we can look at ourselves and take ownership of our actions not worrying about blaming the other person. As I try and wrap my head around forgiveness I really think it has absolutely nothing to do with the "I'm sorry" and everything to do with humility. God's word says that as we humble ourselves He lifts us up yet we lift ourselves up through pride and more often than not, fall flat on our faces. We become angry, hurt, bitter, and alone.
I don't want to become a bitter person all alone standing in my rightness just for the mere sake of proving someone else wrong. I would rather go humbly to them and own my piece. I desire to own my actions whether I was aware I committed them or not; whether I think they are right or not. It really isn't about who is right or wrong or who needs to apologize first. Both people can be absolutely right in a situation. It is all about perspective. It's about humility: humbly going to another person, owning your actions, and asking how you can move forward growing in your relationship with them, and, most importantly, your walk with the Lord. I believe in my heart of hearts that until we humble ourselves in our earthly relationships we will never be right with God. Oh yes, He has saved and forgiven us but we will miss out on some of the exceptional blessings He wishes to bestow on our lives because we are stuck in pride. Most importantly, we will miss out on a more intimate relationship with Him. I don't want to risk that. I want to live humbly with others so that I may live right with Him.
Thanks for bearing with me and listening to my rant. I hope we all take a moment to look at the reflection staring back at us today.
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139: 23-24
Love & Blessings,
Meg
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