Dear Jackson,
You are my precious first born; the one that first made me a mommy and forever changed my life. Little did I know when you were born what a grand effect you would have on me. We were driving down Preston Road when you were about four years old. You snuggled in the back seat between your two baby brothers asking loads of questions stumping me on most of them as you usually did. The question that stunned me was when you asked if you could pray to have Jesus in your heart. You were talking about Him and what salvation meant. You wanted Jesus. I quickly pulled over into the Whataburger parking lot, grabbed you out of your car seat, brought you up front with me, and we talked about Jesus. We talked about His life and what He did for us on that fateful day on the blessed beautiful cross. We talked about sacrifice and what that means and looks like in a four year old's mind and we talked about faith being personal. Then, we prayed together and you asked Jesus into your life. I will never forget that moment. I can still see it and smell it and sense it. I can hear your brothers cooing and talking in their little baby voices in the back seat. I can see your precious four year old face and hear the intrigue in your little voice. There aren't many memories that can compete with that. But, there is another day that will be forever etched in my memory.
Two weeks ago we put you to bed just like any other day. Dad and I fell into our bed exhausted from the day's activities. We were chatting and hanging out and heard your voice about thirty minutes later. You were calling me over the video monitor. I responded asking what you needed wondering what on earth it could be given you had been in bed for awhile. You then said in your sweet voice that you wanted to be baptized. I knew right then that your faith was real; it was yours. You see, ever since we prayed in that parking lot you have asked us to get baptized. You heard all the grown-ups talk about baptism and wanted in on the action. Dad and I kept holding you off waiting for you to truly understand what baptism meant. We didn't want you to get baptized because you thought that's what mom and dad wanted or that's what a pastor said you had to do. We wanted you to truly understand the sacrifice Jesus made for us and that baptism does not equal salvation. You continued to learn and discover your faith on your own and now it was time for you to show everyone what you believe.
I knew the moment you asked to be baptized over that monitor that it was time. You sat in bed for thirty minutes thinking about it. You owned it. This faith thing was yours; all yours. We stood in line waiting for your turn to be baptized. I asked you if you were nervous and how you felt. You were calm, cool, and collected. I stood there staring at my first born and seeing how much you really had grown. You were making decisions for your life, BIG decisions, on your own. As much as I want to keep you in my arms forever, the most precious thing is watching you learn to use your wings and fly. I watched you listen to Pastor Larry as he explained baptism to you. You looked confident and sure. You went under the water and came back up a new person. I will never forget that moment. Ever.
Jackson, I admire you. I look up to you. You inspire me. Your passion for life and empathy for others is astounding. Your mind is beyond your years yet you have such a humility about you. You are everything good and I witnessed it that day and everyday. You want goodness for your life and for the lives of others. You know and live the Word of God not because grown-ups tell you to, but because you want to. You have a wisdom in the Bible that I wish I had, especially at eight years old. You are an example to those that know you, especially your brothers. They are witness to a life well lived. To say Dad and I are proud of you is an absolute understatement. Thank you for being my son; for being exactly who you are. Thank you for changing me and challenging me daily to be a better person. Thank you for teaching me that even though you are growing up in a Christian home, you can have a mind of your own and find ownership in your faith. I love you more than you will ever comprehend.
All my love,
Mommy
You are my precious first born; the one that first made me a mommy and forever changed my life. Little did I know when you were born what a grand effect you would have on me. We were driving down Preston Road when you were about four years old. You snuggled in the back seat between your two baby brothers asking loads of questions stumping me on most of them as you usually did. The question that stunned me was when you asked if you could pray to have Jesus in your heart. You were talking about Him and what salvation meant. You wanted Jesus. I quickly pulled over into the Whataburger parking lot, grabbed you out of your car seat, brought you up front with me, and we talked about Jesus. We talked about His life and what He did for us on that fateful day on the blessed beautiful cross. We talked about sacrifice and what that means and looks like in a four year old's mind and we talked about faith being personal. Then, we prayed together and you asked Jesus into your life. I will never forget that moment. I can still see it and smell it and sense it. I can hear your brothers cooing and talking in their little baby voices in the back seat. I can see your precious four year old face and hear the intrigue in your little voice. There aren't many memories that can compete with that. But, there is another day that will be forever etched in my memory.
Two weeks ago we put you to bed just like any other day. Dad and I fell into our bed exhausted from the day's activities. We were chatting and hanging out and heard your voice about thirty minutes later. You were calling me over the video monitor. I responded asking what you needed wondering what on earth it could be given you had been in bed for awhile. You then said in your sweet voice that you wanted to be baptized. I knew right then that your faith was real; it was yours. You see, ever since we prayed in that parking lot you have asked us to get baptized. You heard all the grown-ups talk about baptism and wanted in on the action. Dad and I kept holding you off waiting for you to truly understand what baptism meant. We didn't want you to get baptized because you thought that's what mom and dad wanted or that's what a pastor said you had to do. We wanted you to truly understand the sacrifice Jesus made for us and that baptism does not equal salvation. You continued to learn and discover your faith on your own and now it was time for you to show everyone what you believe.
I knew the moment you asked to be baptized over that monitor that it was time. You sat in bed for thirty minutes thinking about it. You owned it. This faith thing was yours; all yours. We stood in line waiting for your turn to be baptized. I asked you if you were nervous and how you felt. You were calm, cool, and collected. I stood there staring at my first born and seeing how much you really had grown. You were making decisions for your life, BIG decisions, on your own. As much as I want to keep you in my arms forever, the most precious thing is watching you learn to use your wings and fly. I watched you listen to Pastor Larry as he explained baptism to you. You looked confident and sure. You went under the water and came back up a new person. I will never forget that moment. Ever.
Jackson, I admire you. I look up to you. You inspire me. Your passion for life and empathy for others is astounding. Your mind is beyond your years yet you have such a humility about you. You are everything good and I witnessed it that day and everyday. You want goodness for your life and for the lives of others. You know and live the Word of God not because grown-ups tell you to, but because you want to. You have a wisdom in the Bible that I wish I had, especially at eight years old. You are an example to those that know you, especially your brothers. They are witness to a life well lived. To say Dad and I are proud of you is an absolute understatement. Thank you for being my son; for being exactly who you are. Thank you for changing me and challenging me daily to be a better person. Thank you for teaching me that even though you are growing up in a Christian home, you can have a mind of your own and find ownership in your faith. I love you more than you will ever comprehend.
All my love,
Mommy
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