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Push Back

I love when a small little thought becomes something so much bigger. I began thinking about my life and where God fits. I wondered if I was truly allowing Him in or constantly pushing back on all that He had and wanted for my life. I know many of you have seen the picture of the little girl holding tightly to a small teddy bear. She is talking to God and He is trying to convince her to give Him the teddy bear. She cannot see the larger bear behind his back and is not convinced that what He has for her life is so much greater than that which she is holding tightly to. Her bear was so grand in her eyes that she couldn't see anything more.

"The thief comes only to steal and destroy; I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10

Jesus came to give us life. He came to give us abundant life. The thief, Satan, comes to rob us of the life He meant for us. Isn't it interesting that the Devil is sneaky enough to entice us with good things so we miss the great ones? He gets us so focused on all the good stuff that we miss the abundance.

I am in a Bible study right now by the author, Priscilla Shirer. The premise of the study is to learn how to dig deeper into Scripture. Every week she gives us a new topic that we are supposed to research in the Word. Wouldn't you know that the week's lesson I completed struck me on this very topic? Go figure. Priscilla had this to say in a prayer,

"God give me the courage to delete the things, desires, or even people that are infringing on Your perfect design for the book you are writing with my life. Allow me the grace to be completely content with what You've intended, no matter how different it is from my original plan. Lord, I trust You. In Jesus Name, Amen."

I am a pusher. By nature, I push back on change, new things, or things that I feel I cannot control until I find a level of comfort. I am learning and growing in this area but it is definitely a constant journey. There are many things I do that are considered good. I volunteer at the boys' school, help with a Bible study at church, do service projects, serve my family, etc, etc. All of these things are good, but, as Priscilla says, none of them are the prize. I am in a season of rest and discovery. I know I am and know that this season is not forever. Change is coming and I feel that change is going to be way out of my comfort zone; something totally new to me. I know this at the depth of my being. I need to be okay with where the Lord is taking me and not push back.

All of the things I give my time to are good. But, as a friend and I were talking last night, I realized I need to evaluate what I am giving my time to. Am I giving my time to things I think are good or am I doing what the Father is calling? Am I pushing back on what He has for me replacing the His greatness for my life with my good? I am distracted by my plan; the story I am writing. I know I am. I am doing good things but not His great.

During all my pondering about pushing back on God and where I am in my life journey, my good friend tagged me in a picture. I mean, for the love. I get it God. You are knocking on my door. I will open it. The quote in the picture said, "If you can't figure out your purpose, figure out your passion. Your passion will lead you to your purpose." So good. Like me, she is journeying through her good to great. I think we both can say that the passion the Lord has given us at the present time scares us both a little bit because it is something so different than anything either of us has done before. He is pushing both of us out of our comfort zones into the unknown telling us to trust Him; that maybe, just maybe, the prize behind His back is better than the one we won't let go of. We are discovering how to chase the passions He has placed in our hearts instead of pushing back on His plan and staying in our warm cozy comfort zones.

You see, I don't want to allow the thief to steal my life's abundance with only good things. I want to live in His abundance experiencing the greatness He has for me. I think God wants us all to be a little like Peter. We read about Peter's journey between faith and fear in Matthew 14:22-33. Jesus walks on water and Peter would like to join him. As Peter begins his journey on the water towards his Savior he gets scared. He questions. He doubts. He sinks. But, Jesus is there. He is there. He grabs Peter to safety. Even though Peter doubted the Lord and whether or not he had him, Jesus was there and held tightly to him. Man, I want to walk on the water to Jesus without pushing back. I want to know that my Savior has me no matter how big or small the waves get. I want to know in my heart-of-hearts that there is a much bigger prize waiting for me behind His back than the one I am gripping so desperately. I want to trust. I want to walk on water freely to Jesus.

All this chatter in my mind and my prayers about letting go of pushing back on what God has for me brings me to my life verse. When I was 18 and graduating from high school my dad gave me a bible. My name and a verse was inscribed on the front. I didn't think twice about the verse then. I could not have imagined the impact these verses would have on my life throughout the next 18 years of my life. But He knew. I find rest and comfort in Jeremiah 29:11-14 as a learn to stop pushing back. I run the words "future" and "hope" through my mind often. When I realize and truly believe that he has a future for me and there is hope in that future than I can start living a life of abundance. It may take me awhile to get there but, I will walk on water to my Savior.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,” says the Lord. “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.”

Love & Blessings,
Meg

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