I walked over to one of my childhood best friend's house with my mom. We were headed there to get a barbie I had left behind. We had gotten into a fight about who-knows-what and I needed that barbie. I also needed back-up so my mom fulfilled her mama-bear duties and accompanied me. When we got to her house, she was dancing the barbie in the window kind of taunting me. It's what you do when you are elementary girls in a fight I presume. That visual makes me giggle today. I did get my barbie back and we eventually made up. There were three of us girls who were close in elementary school. We lived next to each other in a neighborhood filled with lots of boys. I remember wondering where I fit with those girls. We were that awkward threesome where someone is always left out somehow. We switched roles on who became the left-out one. Sometimes I was the special one that stuck with one of the other girls leaving the third girl out. And sometimes, my I was the devastated left-out girl and that never felt good.
Our relationships today aren't much different. Many of us have heard the verse, "As iron sharpens iron, one friend sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17. Okay. That's all well and good but it doesn't tell me where I fit with my friends. I am not one for labels. I remember longing for a broken heart BFF necklace when I was little. You know the type where you and your best friend hold a piece of the heart one saying, "BF/Fri" and the other side, "F/end." I always wanted the front half. Anyway, I have never been the type to like labels. I've been the blond, the clutz, the tall one, the one with ALL THAT HAIR. I am who I am. I don't need a label. Thus, I don't label my friendships. Everyone has a place in my life and fulfills a different purpose. Once I grasped that, I struggled less and less with insecurities in my relationships. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments of feeling like that left-out girl, but once I realized the purpose each friend has in my life and what my purpose is in theirs, I struggle less.
I have a friend who is near and dear to me. Some people don't understand our relationship because we aren't your typical match. We're so different in our spiritual beliefs but not so different in our values and somehow it works. She's my I-totally-get-you-because-I-feel-EXACTLY-the-same-way friend. She's my voice of reason and my college buddy. She's seen me through boyfriend, break-up, marriage, kids, no kids, college, and career. She fills a need in my life, and I her. We fit. I have another friend that I've known since we were twelve. We've been through a lifetime together. We've laughed until we've cried, worked on late night projects in order to graduate from high school, dove into the faith together, questioned the faith together, made bad choices, made good choices, stood by each other at our weddings, births, dedications, career ups and downs, and the list goes on. She is home. She is comfort. She is family.
I could sit here and list each friend and how they fit like a puzzle piece in my life and how I fit in theirs. They don't need a label. They are my friend and they fit in my life in a way that no one else can. No label can explain that. So, when my friend goes to dinner with another friend I don't need to question our relationship because I know I fit; I have a place in her life regardless of what is going on. Once I realized that I serve a purpose instead of a label in my friends' lives, I lost the weight of insecurity. I was able to enjoy my friends and the place they held in my life and me in theirs instead of being consumed with who I was to them.
God creates each of us to fit together ultimately to bring glory to Him. Even the messy ugly parts of our relationships where we are working out the hard junk brings glory to His name. Even when our faith paths don't cross, the way we fit together sharpening one another brings Him glory. We all have a place. We all fit somewhere. It's time to identify where we fit instead of chasing after the title we want.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." John 15:12
Our relationships today aren't much different. Many of us have heard the verse, "As iron sharpens iron, one friend sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17. Okay. That's all well and good but it doesn't tell me where I fit with my friends. I am not one for labels. I remember longing for a broken heart BFF necklace when I was little. You know the type where you and your best friend hold a piece of the heart one saying, "BF/Fri" and the other side, "F/end." I always wanted the front half. Anyway, I have never been the type to like labels. I've been the blond, the clutz, the tall one, the one with ALL THAT HAIR. I am who I am. I don't need a label. Thus, I don't label my friendships. Everyone has a place in my life and fulfills a different purpose. Once I grasped that, I struggled less and less with insecurities in my relationships. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments of feeling like that left-out girl, but once I realized the purpose each friend has in my life and what my purpose is in theirs, I struggle less.
I have a friend who is near and dear to me. Some people don't understand our relationship because we aren't your typical match. We're so different in our spiritual beliefs but not so different in our values and somehow it works. She's my I-totally-get-you-because-I-feel-EXACTLY-the-same-way friend. She's my voice of reason and my college buddy. She's seen me through boyfriend, break-up, marriage, kids, no kids, college, and career. She fills a need in my life, and I her. We fit. I have another friend that I've known since we were twelve. We've been through a lifetime together. We've laughed until we've cried, worked on late night projects in order to graduate from high school, dove into the faith together, questioned the faith together, made bad choices, made good choices, stood by each other at our weddings, births, dedications, career ups and downs, and the list goes on. She is home. She is comfort. She is family.
I could sit here and list each friend and how they fit like a puzzle piece in my life and how I fit in theirs. They don't need a label. They are my friend and they fit in my life in a way that no one else can. No label can explain that. So, when my friend goes to dinner with another friend I don't need to question our relationship because I know I fit; I have a place in her life regardless of what is going on. Once I realized that I serve a purpose instead of a label in my friends' lives, I lost the weight of insecurity. I was able to enjoy my friends and the place they held in my life and me in theirs instead of being consumed with who I was to them.
God creates each of us to fit together ultimately to bring glory to Him. Even the messy ugly parts of our relationships where we are working out the hard junk brings glory to His name. Even when our faith paths don't cross, the way we fit together sharpening one another brings Him glory. We all have a place. We all fit somewhere. It's time to identify where we fit instead of chasing after the title we want.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." John 15:12
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