The Fish Tank

When I was in college, I had my life planned out. I would be married with at least one child by 24 and eventually have a boy and a girl. We would skip merrily through our life with smiles on our faces and color coordinated outfits. Ha. Boy, was I wrong. I got married at 24 but didn't have my first child until I was 28. He was a textbook pregnancy and birth. The other two? Not so much. There's so much to motherhood that I didn't know. I thought I was well-prepared having been around kids most of my life. I had changed countless numbers of diapers and knew how to entertain kids. I went to school to be a teacher for goodness sakes. I knew kids. Or, at least I thought I knew. And then I had my own. The moment they put my slimy screaming first born on my chest life as I knew it changed. The world stood absolutely still in that moment. Nothing else mattered. After hours of labor, we became a family of three in a matter of seconds. I thought I knew, but in that very moment I rea...

I could feel the eyes rolling after I posted the picture of my weights at the gym. I couldn't help but post. Working out is my jam. I remember talking to Jackson's teachers before I left teaching and moved to Texas. They could see that I enjoyed doing and being active. They encouraged me to find my thing after we moved. They knew I'd need it; I'd need something for me that challenged and moved me. After three babies, I had to find something for this mama. I've always been active so working out wasn't foreign. I started with a goal to run a half marathon after I had Wyatt and I accomplished that goal. My knees, however, did not want me to keep running so back to the gym I went. Scott and I found a little gym in our community and began working out together. We grew attached to our little gym family and I could not get enough. I enjoyed the challenge and the drive to push myself a little further each time. I was hooked. I was talking to one of our trainers recent...

"When the world seems too loud, we must be quiet. When the world seems too violent, we much be peaceful. When the world seems too evil, we must be good." Glennon Doyle Melton, Momastery "...and may the Lord make your love for one another and for all people grow and overflow." 1 Thessalonians 3:12 To say there is a lot going on in our world is an understatement. Doesn't it always seem to happen that way; everything happening at once? Our world is in chaos. I believe it always is but shows more loudly at times. People are hurting; hurting in a bad way. From natural disasters, to protests, riots, supreme court rulings, and polarizing interviews on TV, the world as we know it has come crashing down in a pile of rubble so big none of us feel equipped to tackle it. We sit back chins fallen on the floor in utter amazement that this could be our world. We spew our opinions and how we would handle the situation better, yet we don't move. We are glued to our TV an...

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35 People know we are believers by how well we love. Jesus is clear when He discusses our intentions to love. He is seen when we love. He is hidden when we walk away from this truth. A couple of week's ago, our church had a guest speaker. His ministry is to help those with sex addictions, addictions to pornography, and the like. He started a website called XXXchurch and the ministry exploded. Obviously, there is a need for this in our over-sexed society. He said he never set out to be a "porn pastor" but that is the road that was chosen for him. He sets up a booth at porn shows in order to speak and show the love of Jesus. Scott and I talked a lot about this sermon: we talked about our marriage and the state of our intimacy, what we need to discuss with our boys (scary but so very neces...

Dear End of the School Year, You got me. Long gone are the days of a freezer filled with meals ready to bake. No longer are lunches packed perfectly the night before containing sweet little love notes to my boys. Clothes are not washed and organized on Sunday ready for the week's wear. The alarm goes off and I do not immediately spring into action ready to tackle the day before me. Nope. You got me end of the school year. You got me good. The snooze button is often hit one too many times. Lunches are packed in a panic as I wipe the drool off my face impatiently waiting for my coffee to finish brewing. I have every good intention to pre-make dinner stocking our freezer full, but find myself instead scrambling to make dinner because I forgot to defrost the meat yet again. Laundry piles are high and school forms forbear to be signed. School projects are completed the night before they are due. Library books are forgotten on the shelf at home and reading logs lack a parental signat...

I went to the beach with my parents almost every weekend. As I grew, I'd complain about going to the beach again. Crazy right? I remember telling my parents I'd never live anywhere else but close to a coastline. Ha. Never say never. God plopped me smack in the middle of the country. And you know what, if you allow Him to move you, especially out of your comfort zone, He'll knock your socks off. So, here I sit in the middle of the USofA and I absolutely LOVE it. I love the Texas pride, friendly people who wave when they drive by, the slower pace of life, a community that protects and looks out for one another, and I cannot get enough of the wide open spaces and skies that seem to go on and on forever. I feel like I could run and run and never reach the sky while at the same time, could reach my hand out and touch the velvety blue with puffy white clouds. We are an up-and-comer city. A lot of development is happening all around me but there are still farms, ranches, pastu...

Uuuuugggghhhh. Have you ever bought a car and then seen the exact same car all over the roads everywhere you go? That's how I feel about my life right now: everywhere I go, I hear the same message. Over and over again the words permeate my soul and my reaction? Oh, my reaction is one of a teenager asked to clean his room. I don't want to. I don't want to be challenged. I'm cozy thank you very much. I look back on my journey and can easily identify easy seasons of life; those moments when everything seems to flow together and move right along. I can also see those hard moments that hit you deep in the gut and challenge you until you feel as though you cannot take one more step. I'm in a phase of easy right now. I like my mornings drinking my coffee and getting the kids off to school all while still in my pajamas. While the boys still need me, they gain more and more independence each day. I love and live for my morning workouts. I like the freedom to decide if I sh...

I brought Jackson's library book to the school. He forgot it as we rushed out the door. He should have known better. I reminded Wyatt that we don't call our brothers names for what seemed like the millionth time that day. He should have known better. I read about the young teenage boys climbing on the canopy at the park on our neighborhood Facebook page. They should have know better. I heard the news report the second teenage suicide in our area in two weeks. Those boys should have known better. "Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6 I am a parent but I am also still a child. I've heard "that child should have known better" far too often today. We have lost site that our kids are still kids and we are still their parents regardless if they are four or forty. I am 36 years old (almost 37...gasp) and still need guidance, training if you will, from my parents. God's Word does not giv...