When I was in college, I had my life planned out. I would be married with at least one child by 24 and eventually have a boy and a girl. We would skip merrily through our life with smiles on our faces and color coordinated outfits. Ha. Boy, was I wrong. I got married at 24 but didn't have my first child until I was 28. He was a textbook pregnancy and birth. The other two? Not so much. There's so much to motherhood that I didn't know. I thought I was well-prepared having been around kids most of my life. I had changed countless numbers of diapers and knew how to entertain kids. I went to school to be a teacher for goodness sakes. I knew kids. Or, at least I thought I knew. And then I had my own.
The moment they put my slimy screaming first born on my chest life as I knew it changed. The world stood absolutely still in that moment. Nothing else mattered. After hours of labor, we became a family of three in a matter of seconds. I thought I knew, but in that very moment I realized I knew very little. I didn't know that I would watch my heart live outside my body and in these three little beings that called me mommy. My heart beats deeper now and feels so much more than I could ever imagine or describe. I didn't know what sleep deprivation really was until my days and nights seemed to collide into one big loop of feedings, diaper changes, spit-up and the sweetest baby smiles in the universe. I didn't know I would be so willing to give up my sleep for a 7 pound wiggly little person that took my breath away. I didn't know that my body would be forever changed. I thought I'd bounce right back to my pre-baby size. I also didn't know that I while I'd still be fighting to get the baby weight off five years later, I'd be proud of my scars for they meant I grew a life inside of me and got to experience one of life's greatest miracles this side of Heaven. I didn't know I'd be looking at my reflection when I looked at my children; that I would see the good, the bad, and the ugly in myself. I didn't know that they would be the teacher and I, the student; they teaching me far more than anything I could ever teach them. I didn't know what being proud meant until I watched my son live out what true character looks like. I didn't know I would be so willing to give up my life, my dreams, my desires in a heart beat if it meant giving them life. I didn't know I would be challenged to the depths of my core and humbled to my knees every single day. I didn't know what real laughter was until I heard his first giggle. I could listen to that sweet sound on repeat all day long. I didn't know that life could be so full, so hard, so challenging, and so rewarding all at the exact same instant. I didn't know that life sped by and stood still together until I had kids. I didn't know that motherhood is an honor and a privilege and that you are part of an unwritten tribe. I didn't know that I would feel completely alone yet totally full at times. I didn't know I'd be so terrified yet so at peace knowing everything will be okay. I didn't know my faith would be molded and shaped by them. I didn't know I'd see Jesus when I sat at the breakfast table staring into their little faces. I didn't know.
Motherhood is a grand adventure. You step onto this terrifying yet magnificent roller coaster of a ride and hold on for dear life. As you bend and twist through the curves and loops, you scream and wonder if you are going to survive. Yet another day passes and everyone is still here, still fed, dressed, and alive, and you think, "Yes! I did it! I made it through one more day and we are all still here and somewhat happy." You can't really describe motherhood to someone. It really is an experience to be lived out. It's a mysterious journey and we are all hunting for the well-written manual. We will never find the neatly written out guidelines on motherhood because everyone's journey is uniquely their own. That's the beauty of the disaster that is motherhood: we are all on our individual journeys trying so desperately to raise these children right yet that journey bonds us so deep even if we don't know each others' names. We are puked on, hair pulled, black circles under our eyes, clothes too tight, hair a mess, desperately needing a shower or to go to the bathroom in peace yet we would not change it for a second. These little beings have put our lives on hold so we can soothe them one more time or watch one more episode of Peppa Pig. Just when we think we have had enough, they turn to us, touch our faces in their precious little hands, and whisper, "I wuv you, mommy." And there we sit in a puddled up mess of tears ready and willing to anything and everything for them. Motherhood is precious and priceless; indescribable.
I believe motherhood mimics the breath of Heaven. We get tired, frustrated, and worn down yet we push forward because we know the prize that lies in those big eyes that stare back at us through an innocent face. Children challenge us and push us to the edge propelling us to grasp onto our faith with everything we got, which isn't much. We seek grace every single day because without it, we wouldn't survive. Hope is a common undertone: we hope we sleep, hope we don't have to change our clothes a dozen times the next day because the baby won't stop emitting bodily fluids all over us, we hope he doesn't cry so much, we hope we aren't screwing this whole thing up. Motherhood is a journey I was not prepared for and I don't think I would want to be if I could. I like the mystery that comes each day even if I want to beat my head against the wall at times;) I am tired, worn down, and beaten. The circles under my eyes are intense; the wrinkles and gray hair approaching entirely too fast. Yet, I would not change it for the world. Well, maybe I would get that pre-baby body back. Motherhood is an exceptional journey not for the faint of heart. Hold on tight and be ready for the ride of a lifetime!
Love & Blessings,
Meg
The moment they put my slimy screaming first born on my chest life as I knew it changed. The world stood absolutely still in that moment. Nothing else mattered. After hours of labor, we became a family of three in a matter of seconds. I thought I knew, but in that very moment I realized I knew very little. I didn't know that I would watch my heart live outside my body and in these three little beings that called me mommy. My heart beats deeper now and feels so much more than I could ever imagine or describe. I didn't know what sleep deprivation really was until my days and nights seemed to collide into one big loop of feedings, diaper changes, spit-up and the sweetest baby smiles in the universe. I didn't know I would be so willing to give up my sleep for a 7 pound wiggly little person that took my breath away. I didn't know that my body would be forever changed. I thought I'd bounce right back to my pre-baby size. I also didn't know that I while I'd still be fighting to get the baby weight off five years later, I'd be proud of my scars for they meant I grew a life inside of me and got to experience one of life's greatest miracles this side of Heaven. I didn't know I'd be looking at my reflection when I looked at my children; that I would see the good, the bad, and the ugly in myself. I didn't know that they would be the teacher and I, the student; they teaching me far more than anything I could ever teach them. I didn't know what being proud meant until I watched my son live out what true character looks like. I didn't know I would be so willing to give up my life, my dreams, my desires in a heart beat if it meant giving them life. I didn't know I would be challenged to the depths of my core and humbled to my knees every single day. I didn't know what real laughter was until I heard his first giggle. I could listen to that sweet sound on repeat all day long. I didn't know that life could be so full, so hard, so challenging, and so rewarding all at the exact same instant. I didn't know that life sped by and stood still together until I had kids. I didn't know that motherhood is an honor and a privilege and that you are part of an unwritten tribe. I didn't know that I would feel completely alone yet totally full at times. I didn't know I'd be so terrified yet so at peace knowing everything will be okay. I didn't know my faith would be molded and shaped by them. I didn't know I'd see Jesus when I sat at the breakfast table staring into their little faces. I didn't know.
Motherhood is a grand adventure. You step onto this terrifying yet magnificent roller coaster of a ride and hold on for dear life. As you bend and twist through the curves and loops, you scream and wonder if you are going to survive. Yet another day passes and everyone is still here, still fed, dressed, and alive, and you think, "Yes! I did it! I made it through one more day and we are all still here and somewhat happy." You can't really describe motherhood to someone. It really is an experience to be lived out. It's a mysterious journey and we are all hunting for the well-written manual. We will never find the neatly written out guidelines on motherhood because everyone's journey is uniquely their own. That's the beauty of the disaster that is motherhood: we are all on our individual journeys trying so desperately to raise these children right yet that journey bonds us so deep even if we don't know each others' names. We are puked on, hair pulled, black circles under our eyes, clothes too tight, hair a mess, desperately needing a shower or to go to the bathroom in peace yet we would not change it for a second. These little beings have put our lives on hold so we can soothe them one more time or watch one more episode of Peppa Pig. Just when we think we have had enough, they turn to us, touch our faces in their precious little hands, and whisper, "I wuv you, mommy." And there we sit in a puddled up mess of tears ready and willing to anything and everything for them. Motherhood is precious and priceless; indescribable.
I believe motherhood mimics the breath of Heaven. We get tired, frustrated, and worn down yet we push forward because we know the prize that lies in those big eyes that stare back at us through an innocent face. Children challenge us and push us to the edge propelling us to grasp onto our faith with everything we got, which isn't much. We seek grace every single day because without it, we wouldn't survive. Hope is a common undertone: we hope we sleep, hope we don't have to change our clothes a dozen times the next day because the baby won't stop emitting bodily fluids all over us, we hope he doesn't cry so much, we hope we aren't screwing this whole thing up. Motherhood is a journey I was not prepared for and I don't think I would want to be if I could. I like the mystery that comes each day even if I want to beat my head against the wall at times;) I am tired, worn down, and beaten. The circles under my eyes are intense; the wrinkles and gray hair approaching entirely too fast. Yet, I would not change it for the world. Well, maybe I would get that pre-baby body back. Motherhood is an exceptional journey not for the faint of heart. Hold on tight and be ready for the ride of a lifetime!
Love & Blessings,
Meg
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