We talked on FaceTime for almost two hours. We compared gray hairs and the size of the bags under our eyes as only friends of 20+ years can do. We laughed and joked about things that only make sense to the two of us. We said our I love yous exhausted from talking well past our bed times. I hung up feeling refreshed, encouraged, and reenergized in a way that only she knows how to bring out in me. You see, yesterday was my birthday. And if I am honest and take off the mask of "everything is fantastic" I can say it sucked.
I woke up with low expectations. I knew I'd have a quiet day since Scott had an overnight trip he couldn't get out of. He felt awful for leaving before I woke up but such is life. Life doesn't stop because it's someone's birthday and I get that. I woke up and walked to the kitchen as I always do. I passed the dining room table that has become Lego central. The moment I walked by, my oil and water-type boys start bickering. I sighed annoyed thinking, "Don't they know it's my birthday? They are not allowed to fight on my birthday." But, being innocent almost five and six year olds, they didn't kow. The morning continued just as splendidly with more frustrations between brothers and complaints about breakfast.
I got the two older boys off to school and decided to hit the gym. Working out is my therapy and I needed to blow off some steam. I woke up with a few more grays found amongst my roots that desperately needed a dye job and a morning that needed a do-over. I met my gym family and got some happy birthdays. Thankfully, our trainer didn't know it was my birthday so we didn't have to do any extra burpees or crazy stunts. I left sweaty feeling a little better but still a little lonely; empty.
A friend text as I was driving home. She was kind enough to ask me to lunch to celebrate. Quite honestly, I didn't want to go. But, I knew I needed to. That friend blessed me more than she knows. She made a connection with me in that short hour lunch that I needed; that I was longing for. By taking time out of her workday to meet with me she made me feel like I had value and meant something to her.
I went about the rest of my day with my sweet Wyatt. I had a church video thing I needed to do and errands to run. We were gone all weekend so we lacked clean clothes and groceries. We had just enough time to stop at Target really quick. I was in a rush to get done so we would beat the bus after school. Wyatt found out it was my birthday earlier in the day...I may have yelled, "It's my birthday so stop fighting" earlier that morning to clue him in. So, he insisted on getting me a cake. We stood in the bakery department far too long and he picked out a cake I don't like but I couldn't crush his spirit. He just wanted to celebrate his mommy. I bought my birthday cake. The one I didn't like.
We got the big brothers off the bus. I unloaded back packs and switched the laundry trying to hold back tears. The boys were off that afternoon. It's probably because mama was off too. We rushed off to Costco after I finished some chores because we desperately needed food and who doesn't like celebrating a birthday with a trip to Costco and three kids. When we got home, I spent forever unloading and putting away our mounds of food. After getting the groceries put away, I washed the gallon of milk my oldest had dropped and spilled off the driveway. I took the trash cans to the curb and went back inside. I threw some taquitos and grapes at the boys and went to my room.
I sat in my favorite chair by the window and flipped through Facebook. There were countless well-wishes for my birthday. Everyone so sweet, loving, and kind. Even though I was beyond gracious the words on the screen and felt well liked, I felt completely alone. I sat there for a moment feeling sorry for myself, forgotten, alone. My pity party was interrupted by screams about an overflowing toilet. I left my stooper to grab the plunger and clean the mess. I washed my hands and served the boys dessert: the birthday cake Wyatt chose but didn't have any. I wasn't in the mood and it wasn't my favorite flavor.
I finally got the kids to sleep and fell into my bed still dressed in my clothes from the day. I was exhausted, worn down, lonely, and quite frankly, a little sad. And then the phone rang. There she was: the one girl in all the world who knows what I need before I need it. She let me be selfish and vent and then made me laugh like she does so well. She's known me most of my life and probably knows me better than I know myself at times. As I talked thru how I was feeling she made a good point that I think we all know too well: technology today has hindered us from true relationships.
I don't write this post to make anyone feel bad for me. I do not like people to pity me, I struggle letting others serve me, and I do NOT like being in the spotlight. I write this post, instead, as a wake-up call for all of us. There's a huge difference between being well-liked and having deep and meaningful friendships. I can have 100 likes on Facebook and still feel completely empty inside. I often wondered why teens struggled so much with feeling valued when their social media feeds were filled with "likes" and kind comments. And then I experienced it first-hand. Words of encouragement and love and likes on a post are awesome but there is nothing in this world like someone physically walking alongside you in this life. Walking together arm in arm in meaningful relationship cannot be replaced with a post or picture that goes viral.
It's nice to be well-liked. It feels good and boosts the ego. Yet, there is nothing like FaceTiming with a friend talking about wrinkles and how on earth we are going to raise these kids right and how did we get so old so fast. However, we are losing companionship and replacing it with Facebook messages and Twitter shout-outs. I am guilty of this myself. I have lost the desire to talk on the phone. I'd rather text. It's easier, faster, & if I get interrupted a million times because someone needs something right this instant, I can set the phone down and come back to finish my sentence later. But, I also have a need to make others feel valued, important, and loved. Because if you are in my life than that is exactly what you are: valued, loved, and important. I love celebrating others. I don't care what the accomplishment or occasion, I will be there with bells ringing celebrating you.
We have lost the beautiful art of relationship. We text our spouse I love you and call it a day. We send an email or post on their page that we're thinking of them and move on. We don't stop in unannounced to say hello. We don't have time to meet for coffee or make that meal just because. We don't make time for each other anymore and our society and becoming more and more lonely, sad, and depressed. And this breaks me into pieces.
My desire and passion to love on others grew a hundred fold yesterday. I'm kind of glad I had a crappy birthday because it showed me that we need, or at least I need, to change. I need to be more mindful of others as I tell my boys all the time. If I feel people in my life matter than they need to know that. I will stop, make that phone call, and let you know you are loved and important to me. I know I cannot walk this journey alone nor do I want to. Jesus' mission was others. I want others to be my mission too. You matter. You are important. You have value. You are loved.
"And do not neglect doing good and sharing, for with such sacrifices God is pleased." Hebrews 13:16
"We who had sweet fellowship together walked in the house of God." Psalms 55:14
"They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer." Acts 2:42
Love & Blessings,
Meg
I woke up with low expectations. I knew I'd have a quiet day since Scott had an overnight trip he couldn't get out of. He felt awful for leaving before I woke up but such is life. Life doesn't stop because it's someone's birthday and I get that. I woke up and walked to the kitchen as I always do. I passed the dining room table that has become Lego central. The moment I walked by, my oil and water-type boys start bickering. I sighed annoyed thinking, "Don't they know it's my birthday? They are not allowed to fight on my birthday." But, being innocent almost five and six year olds, they didn't kow. The morning continued just as splendidly with more frustrations between brothers and complaints about breakfast.
I got the two older boys off to school and decided to hit the gym. Working out is my therapy and I needed to blow off some steam. I woke up with a few more grays found amongst my roots that desperately needed a dye job and a morning that needed a do-over. I met my gym family and got some happy birthdays. Thankfully, our trainer didn't know it was my birthday so we didn't have to do any extra burpees or crazy stunts. I left sweaty feeling a little better but still a little lonely; empty.
A friend text as I was driving home. She was kind enough to ask me to lunch to celebrate. Quite honestly, I didn't want to go. But, I knew I needed to. That friend blessed me more than she knows. She made a connection with me in that short hour lunch that I needed; that I was longing for. By taking time out of her workday to meet with me she made me feel like I had value and meant something to her.
I went about the rest of my day with my sweet Wyatt. I had a church video thing I needed to do and errands to run. We were gone all weekend so we lacked clean clothes and groceries. We had just enough time to stop at Target really quick. I was in a rush to get done so we would beat the bus after school. Wyatt found out it was my birthday earlier in the day...I may have yelled, "It's my birthday so stop fighting" earlier that morning to clue him in. So, he insisted on getting me a cake. We stood in the bakery department far too long and he picked out a cake I don't like but I couldn't crush his spirit. He just wanted to celebrate his mommy. I bought my birthday cake. The one I didn't like.
We got the big brothers off the bus. I unloaded back packs and switched the laundry trying to hold back tears. The boys were off that afternoon. It's probably because mama was off too. We rushed off to Costco after I finished some chores because we desperately needed food and who doesn't like celebrating a birthday with a trip to Costco and three kids. When we got home, I spent forever unloading and putting away our mounds of food. After getting the groceries put away, I washed the gallon of milk my oldest had dropped and spilled off the driveway. I took the trash cans to the curb and went back inside. I threw some taquitos and grapes at the boys and went to my room.
I sat in my favorite chair by the window and flipped through Facebook. There were countless well-wishes for my birthday. Everyone so sweet, loving, and kind. Even though I was beyond gracious the words on the screen and felt well liked, I felt completely alone. I sat there for a moment feeling sorry for myself, forgotten, alone. My pity party was interrupted by screams about an overflowing toilet. I left my stooper to grab the plunger and clean the mess. I washed my hands and served the boys dessert: the birthday cake Wyatt chose but didn't have any. I wasn't in the mood and it wasn't my favorite flavor.
I finally got the kids to sleep and fell into my bed still dressed in my clothes from the day. I was exhausted, worn down, lonely, and quite frankly, a little sad. And then the phone rang. There she was: the one girl in all the world who knows what I need before I need it. She let me be selfish and vent and then made me laugh like she does so well. She's known me most of my life and probably knows me better than I know myself at times. As I talked thru how I was feeling she made a good point that I think we all know too well: technology today has hindered us from true relationships.
I don't write this post to make anyone feel bad for me. I do not like people to pity me, I struggle letting others serve me, and I do NOT like being in the spotlight. I write this post, instead, as a wake-up call for all of us. There's a huge difference between being well-liked and having deep and meaningful friendships. I can have 100 likes on Facebook and still feel completely empty inside. I often wondered why teens struggled so much with feeling valued when their social media feeds were filled with "likes" and kind comments. And then I experienced it first-hand. Words of encouragement and love and likes on a post are awesome but there is nothing in this world like someone physically walking alongside you in this life. Walking together arm in arm in meaningful relationship cannot be replaced with a post or picture that goes viral.
It's nice to be well-liked. It feels good and boosts the ego. Yet, there is nothing like FaceTiming with a friend talking about wrinkles and how on earth we are going to raise these kids right and how did we get so old so fast. However, we are losing companionship and replacing it with Facebook messages and Twitter shout-outs. I am guilty of this myself. I have lost the desire to talk on the phone. I'd rather text. It's easier, faster, & if I get interrupted a million times because someone needs something right this instant, I can set the phone down and come back to finish my sentence later. But, I also have a need to make others feel valued, important, and loved. Because if you are in my life than that is exactly what you are: valued, loved, and important. I love celebrating others. I don't care what the accomplishment or occasion, I will be there with bells ringing celebrating you.
We have lost the beautiful art of relationship. We text our spouse I love you and call it a day. We send an email or post on their page that we're thinking of them and move on. We don't stop in unannounced to say hello. We don't have time to meet for coffee or make that meal just because. We don't make time for each other anymore and our society and becoming more and more lonely, sad, and depressed. And this breaks me into pieces.
My desire and passion to love on others grew a hundred fold yesterday. I'm kind of glad I had a crappy birthday because it showed me that we need, or at least I need, to change. I need to be more mindful of others as I tell my boys all the time. If I feel people in my life matter than they need to know that. I will stop, make that phone call, and let you know you are loved and important to me. I know I cannot walk this journey alone nor do I want to. Jesus' mission was others. I want others to be my mission too. You matter. You are important. You have value. You are loved.
"And do not neglect doing good and sharing, for with such sacrifices God is pleased." Hebrews 13:16
"We who had sweet fellowship together walked in the house of God." Psalms 55:14
"They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer." Acts 2:42
Love & Blessings,
Meg
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