I must have been in a state of delirium the other day. I had finished a week of volunteering at VBS along with many other activities and decided to take the boys to a water park. I had a friend take a picture of the boys and I. Typically, I have Jack stand in front of me. He is tall enough now to cover most of my body leaving only my head and shoulders to show in the picture. I like that angle. Well, in my sheer exhaustion, I did not really look at the picture before posting it on social media. When I finally went back to look, I saw that Jack was not, in fact, standing directly in front of me. Gasp. I was exposed in a BATHING SUIT. The weird thing about the picture is that I was not totally horrified when I saw it. I usually balk at myself picking out every single imperfection. Today was strangely different.
I am 37 years old. I have had three kids and three miscarriages. I have dieted, exercised, eaten a lot, eaten a little, been stagnant, and busy. I have been up and down on the scale weaving back and forth thru my body image roller coaster ride journey. I had a certain confidence when I was pregnant. That was probably the first time I truly felt good about myself. I loved being pregnant. I enjoyed the big belly and enjoyed a cheeseburger a little more often than normal. After I had Wyatt, my third baby, I decided it was time to take my body back. I had been pregnant on and off for four years (I had two miscarriages between my oldest and middle and my middle and youngest are a year apart), so it was time to get back to being me and not a baby making machine. I set goals for myself with one goal being: I would not focus on the scale. To me, the scale was a reminder of an unattainable number. I decided that I wanted to be and feel healthy and a number on the scale wasn't going to produce that. I could be stick thin and just as unhealthy if I were overweight.
I began my journey back to myself with running. Running was my therapy. I got outside which I love and I had this open quiet space to just go and be. I ran a half marathon checking that off my bucket list and then tired of running. We moved and my workouts decreased. We had a lot going on in that season and I was not in a great place mentally so I lacked the motivation to workout and care for myself physically. After we moved into our current home, I decided it was time to take back my health once again. I told you I have ridden the roller coaster ride of trying to find health. My husband and I started working out at a little gym in our town. I loved and continue to enjoy this time we have together. It's something we do, he and I, without the kids and without having to pay the babysitter. Gym childcare is the best! We have a mini date night a few nights a week.
While moving forward towards better health, a saying came to mind: confidence in Christ. I decided women everywhere needed to hear, know, and believe this. I wanted to proclaim it from a mountaintop. What I didn't realize, is that I needed to hear and believe this statement the most. My confidence does not come in the form of a size 2 body with perfect curves. My confidence does not come in the form of perfect skin or a wonderful wardrobe. My confidence does not come from what others say about me. My confidence does not come from my accomplishments or lack there of. My confidence comes in Christ.
Before I was born, He knew me. Before I existed on this earth, He had plans for me. Before I took my first breath, He knew every hair on my head. Pslam 139:12-13 says, "Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You. For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.…" He wove me together intricately and beautifully. I am created in His glorious image. He doesn't look at my size or looks. He looks at my heart. 1 Samuel 16:7 says, "But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." When I get down on myself because of what others say about me or what society says I am not, I remember that in the end, none of that matters.
What matters is that I am adored by a loving merciful Savior no matter my size. I am created in the image of a God who is so pure we would go blind if we looked at him with our human eyes. He designed me to be exactly who I am and not someone who has to live up to an unattainable image. I am loved at my heaviest and my lightest. I am loved in my darkness and in my light. I am loved through my mistakes and in my really good choices. He loves me no matter what I look like. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I will continue on my journey towards health and continue to remind myself that my confidence resides in Christ and Christ alone.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
I am 37 years old. I have had three kids and three miscarriages. I have dieted, exercised, eaten a lot, eaten a little, been stagnant, and busy. I have been up and down on the scale weaving back and forth thru my body image roller coaster ride journey. I had a certain confidence when I was pregnant. That was probably the first time I truly felt good about myself. I loved being pregnant. I enjoyed the big belly and enjoyed a cheeseburger a little more often than normal. After I had Wyatt, my third baby, I decided it was time to take my body back. I had been pregnant on and off for four years (I had two miscarriages between my oldest and middle and my middle and youngest are a year apart), so it was time to get back to being me and not a baby making machine. I set goals for myself with one goal being: I would not focus on the scale. To me, the scale was a reminder of an unattainable number. I decided that I wanted to be and feel healthy and a number on the scale wasn't going to produce that. I could be stick thin and just as unhealthy if I were overweight.
I began my journey back to myself with running. Running was my therapy. I got outside which I love and I had this open quiet space to just go and be. I ran a half marathon checking that off my bucket list and then tired of running. We moved and my workouts decreased. We had a lot going on in that season and I was not in a great place mentally so I lacked the motivation to workout and care for myself physically. After we moved into our current home, I decided it was time to take back my health once again. I told you I have ridden the roller coaster ride of trying to find health. My husband and I started working out at a little gym in our town. I loved and continue to enjoy this time we have together. It's something we do, he and I, without the kids and without having to pay the babysitter. Gym childcare is the best! We have a mini date night a few nights a week.
While moving forward towards better health, a saying came to mind: confidence in Christ. I decided women everywhere needed to hear, know, and believe this. I wanted to proclaim it from a mountaintop. What I didn't realize, is that I needed to hear and believe this statement the most. My confidence does not come in the form of a size 2 body with perfect curves. My confidence does not come in the form of perfect skin or a wonderful wardrobe. My confidence does not come from what others say about me. My confidence does not come from my accomplishments or lack there of. My confidence comes in Christ.
Before I was born, He knew me. Before I existed on this earth, He had plans for me. Before I took my first breath, He knew every hair on my head. Pslam 139:12-13 says, "Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You. For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.…" He wove me together intricately and beautifully. I am created in His glorious image. He doesn't look at my size or looks. He looks at my heart. 1 Samuel 16:7 says, "But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." When I get down on myself because of what others say about me or what society says I am not, I remember that in the end, none of that matters.
What matters is that I am adored by a loving merciful Savior no matter my size. I am created in the image of a God who is so pure we would go blind if we looked at him with our human eyes. He designed me to be exactly who I am and not someone who has to live up to an unattainable image. I am loved at my heaviest and my lightest. I am loved in my darkness and in my light. I am loved through my mistakes and in my really good choices. He loves me no matter what I look like. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I will continue on my journey towards health and continue to remind myself that my confidence resides in Christ and Christ alone.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
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