"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called "Today," so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness." Hebrews 3:13
I have some friends that like to go at it in Facebook debates. They are polar opposites on most topics; especially hot button issues. There is no convincing of one to come to the other side. At the end of the day, however, there is love and mutual respect between these two. They can stick it to one another yet agree to disagree at the end of the day; even though one may be muttering under his breath, "I am the right one" as they walk away.
I love reading their arguments. Sometimes I get pulled in like a good suspenseful movie. I can't look away. I don't ever engage because that's like jumping into an ocean of hungry Great Whites. Scary! I do watch how they argue. I like to hear various perspectives not only to learn both sides, but to learn about people. I love watching and listening to others and the way they process things and live life. One thing I noticed throughout their arguments was that many times they abandoned their argument and instead argued for their rightness. No longer did the issue matter. The matter of who was right took precedence. So now, here these two people sit debating about who is more right rather than how we can fix the problem.
It seems that is the way we argue these days. We start with good intentions fighting for justice and then get sidetracked. We go completely off course and head in the battle of rightness instead of the war on justice. I have learned that nobody is wrong. That sounds rash but for me, it's true. What is right for you but wrong for me does not make your stance wrong. It just means it's wrong for me. All of our arguments are based on opinions. Everyone has an opinion. It doesn't mean everyone's opinion is right for me and vice versa. People even view my stance on Christianity an "opinion."
We all have a measuring stick. Some is an internal moral compass. Others base their opinions and world views on the way they were brought up. I choose my gage to be the Bible. And while I believe with all that I am that the Bible is THE one and only measuring rod, others don't and that is their choice. My goal isn't to convince you that I am right. My goal is to fight for the most just and righteous cause. And if we disagree, so be it. How can we meet in the middle? How can we come together instead of tearing one another apart?
1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, "Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing." I say this to the boys repeatedly. I am constantly asking them if what they are saying is encouraging their brother and building them up or if it's tearing them down. I think we, as the grown-ups, should be doing the same. We should ask ourselves, "Is my argument helping? Are we moving forward on this issue or are we beating against each other to prove rightness? Are we building each other up allowing grace for growth?" We are so stuck on our rightness that we completely lose sight of the issue. We stop listening and start throwing jabs. The fight no longer becomes about the betterment of society but rather, the pedestal we have placed our rightness on. Nothing is accomplished and we all walk away frustrated.
The next time a debate occurs, remember the person you are battling matters more to you, to God, than your rightness. Encourage. Build up. We get more accomplished that way.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
I have some friends that like to go at it in Facebook debates. They are polar opposites on most topics; especially hot button issues. There is no convincing of one to come to the other side. At the end of the day, however, there is love and mutual respect between these two. They can stick it to one another yet agree to disagree at the end of the day; even though one may be muttering under his breath, "I am the right one" as they walk away.
I love reading their arguments. Sometimes I get pulled in like a good suspenseful movie. I can't look away. I don't ever engage because that's like jumping into an ocean of hungry Great Whites. Scary! I do watch how they argue. I like to hear various perspectives not only to learn both sides, but to learn about people. I love watching and listening to others and the way they process things and live life. One thing I noticed throughout their arguments was that many times they abandoned their argument and instead argued for their rightness. No longer did the issue matter. The matter of who was right took precedence. So now, here these two people sit debating about who is more right rather than how we can fix the problem.
It seems that is the way we argue these days. We start with good intentions fighting for justice and then get sidetracked. We go completely off course and head in the battle of rightness instead of the war on justice. I have learned that nobody is wrong. That sounds rash but for me, it's true. What is right for you but wrong for me does not make your stance wrong. It just means it's wrong for me. All of our arguments are based on opinions. Everyone has an opinion. It doesn't mean everyone's opinion is right for me and vice versa. People even view my stance on Christianity an "opinion."
We all have a measuring stick. Some is an internal moral compass. Others base their opinions and world views on the way they were brought up. I choose my gage to be the Bible. And while I believe with all that I am that the Bible is THE one and only measuring rod, others don't and that is their choice. My goal isn't to convince you that I am right. My goal is to fight for the most just and righteous cause. And if we disagree, so be it. How can we meet in the middle? How can we come together instead of tearing one another apart?
1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, "Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing." I say this to the boys repeatedly. I am constantly asking them if what they are saying is encouraging their brother and building them up or if it's tearing them down. I think we, as the grown-ups, should be doing the same. We should ask ourselves, "Is my argument helping? Are we moving forward on this issue or are we beating against each other to prove rightness? Are we building each other up allowing grace for growth?" We are so stuck on our rightness that we completely lose sight of the issue. We stop listening and start throwing jabs. The fight no longer becomes about the betterment of society but rather, the pedestal we have placed our rightness on. Nothing is accomplished and we all walk away frustrated.
The next time a debate occurs, remember the person you are battling matters more to you, to God, than your rightness. Encourage. Build up. We get more accomplished that way.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
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