I recently read an article about someone famous who slipped up. Crazy, right?!?! This celeb said something that was taken the wrong way. The kicker of it all, she had recently bashed another fellow celebrity who did something similar. Isn't that the way life is? We throw judgment only to make the same mistake a few days later? I have been grappling with grace lately. When to give it (always, duh), how to give grace and still have boundaries, and the one I am struggling with most: how to give grace while still holding someone accountable.
It wouldn't be a construction project at the Fish house without some frustrations. It also wouldn't be a construction project without me venting to a girlfriend, punching out my frustrations at my boxing class, and writing about it. I've already vented and punched, so I guess it is time to write. We are redoing our backyard. The project was going fine for the first few weeks and then things seemed to stop. Communication was murky at best and work was not being completed with excuses given rather than explanations containing the truth. After communicating our frustrations, we were assigned a new foreman. Lucky for him, he got to talk to me in person first because Scott had to work. I guarantee he wished he had met Scott first. I promise I was kind. We proceeded to talk through my extensive list of things undone and at the end he said this, "I know this job has been mismanaged up until this point, but please give me an opportunity to finish this project right." Ugh. I don't really feel like giving you yet another opportunity since we have experienced weeks of negativity. It is also much easier to stay mad at you than give you grace. Blah.
I knew the right thing to do was give this guy grace. I knew it beyond my mind. I knew in that moment that I was called to give him grace. But, if I am being honest, I didn't want to. I wanted to be mad and frustrated because I was wronged. I am a big stick-to-your-word kind of girl and when you continuously break the contract we hold, it is difficult for me to turn and give you grace. Just being bold and honest here.
"But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." James 4:6
I was proud in that moment. I didn't want to let go of my feelings of being wronged. I was not humble. I was not grace-filled. God gives us MORE grace. He is constantly giving me grace and there I stood before someone asking for the very thing I so desperately need and freely receive on a daily basis and I didn't want to give it to him. As much grace as I receive each day I need to give out a hundred fold.
So, there I stood with a decision I had to make: do I stand firm in my pride and justification of my frustrations or do I give this guy and his company another chance? I know I have made mistakes in my life and my career countless times seeking grace from others. Who am I to bash this guy for a mistake? Will it help our situation if I stand firm in my madness? Absolutely not. I decided to go with the latter and give this guy some grace and a chance.
What happens, though, when he doesn't follow through; when the contract gets omitted once again? I think there can be grace alongside boundaries. I needed to create a threshold for the company just like I do in my life or parenting. When do I feel he is not fulfilling his side of the obligation? I need to establish a point of reference and a "what will happen when that doesn't get met" consequence. I give you another chance and you do not fulfill our contract when someone asks what I thought of your business, I will have to be honest and not give you a positive reference. We can talk about grace and boundaries all day long, but I will save that for another post.
What I learned when this guy asked me for grace was that I must give it even when I'd rather stay mad. There will come a time when I screw up and desperately need grace. The last thing I want to do is sit in my shame with no hope in sight. I am called to grace for I have been given grace. Therefore, I must give grace to others even when they don't deserve an ounce. It's a tough one, but through Christ, it can be achieved.
"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms." 1 Peter 4:10
Love & Blessings,
Meg
It wouldn't be a construction project at the Fish house without some frustrations. It also wouldn't be a construction project without me venting to a girlfriend, punching out my frustrations at my boxing class, and writing about it. I've already vented and punched, so I guess it is time to write. We are redoing our backyard. The project was going fine for the first few weeks and then things seemed to stop. Communication was murky at best and work was not being completed with excuses given rather than explanations containing the truth. After communicating our frustrations, we were assigned a new foreman. Lucky for him, he got to talk to me in person first because Scott had to work. I guarantee he wished he had met Scott first. I promise I was kind. We proceeded to talk through my extensive list of things undone and at the end he said this, "I know this job has been mismanaged up until this point, but please give me an opportunity to finish this project right." Ugh. I don't really feel like giving you yet another opportunity since we have experienced weeks of negativity. It is also much easier to stay mad at you than give you grace. Blah.
I knew the right thing to do was give this guy grace. I knew it beyond my mind. I knew in that moment that I was called to give him grace. But, if I am being honest, I didn't want to. I wanted to be mad and frustrated because I was wronged. I am a big stick-to-your-word kind of girl and when you continuously break the contract we hold, it is difficult for me to turn and give you grace. Just being bold and honest here.
"But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." James 4:6
I was proud in that moment. I didn't want to let go of my feelings of being wronged. I was not humble. I was not grace-filled. God gives us MORE grace. He is constantly giving me grace and there I stood before someone asking for the very thing I so desperately need and freely receive on a daily basis and I didn't want to give it to him. As much grace as I receive each day I need to give out a hundred fold.
So, there I stood with a decision I had to make: do I stand firm in my pride and justification of my frustrations or do I give this guy and his company another chance? I know I have made mistakes in my life and my career countless times seeking grace from others. Who am I to bash this guy for a mistake? Will it help our situation if I stand firm in my madness? Absolutely not. I decided to go with the latter and give this guy some grace and a chance.
What happens, though, when he doesn't follow through; when the contract gets omitted once again? I think there can be grace alongside boundaries. I needed to create a threshold for the company just like I do in my life or parenting. When do I feel he is not fulfilling his side of the obligation? I need to establish a point of reference and a "what will happen when that doesn't get met" consequence. I give you another chance and you do not fulfill our contract when someone asks what I thought of your business, I will have to be honest and not give you a positive reference. We can talk about grace and boundaries all day long, but I will save that for another post.
What I learned when this guy asked me for grace was that I must give it even when I'd rather stay mad. There will come a time when I screw up and desperately need grace. The last thing I want to do is sit in my shame with no hope in sight. I am called to grace for I have been given grace. Therefore, I must give grace to others even when they don't deserve an ounce. It's a tough one, but through Christ, it can be achieved.
"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms." 1 Peter 4:10
Love & Blessings,
Meg
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