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Audacious

Man alive, it's been quite a week. Well, last week was quite a week. Today was just a day. Interesting how things get murky and difficult when you decide to step out.

Before the new year, I tried to find a new word for myself. I wanted something to proclaim going into 2016 but I came up blank. I had nothing. Nada. The year was starting out in a boring slump. And then I began to listen to a book on audio (I was going to say tape but then I would have aged myself). This book talks about having audacious faith. Ah. There it is. My word: AUDACIOUS.

I would like to think I am a pretty resilient person. Knock me down and I will get back up. Tell me I can't do something and I will try my hardest to prove you wrong. But sometimes I get tired and I don't want to get back up. I am worn out and ragged and have nothing more to give and then I hear this word.

Audacious: showing a willingness to take surprisingly bold risks.

It's time; time for me to be a risk taker. Time for me to step out of my cozy, comfy, protected world into the unknown. I need to lay the overwhelmed insecure girl aside and pick up the audaciousness that dwells deep inside.

I recently made a bold move. Nothing seen by many on the outside world but something seen and felt so deeply inside of me that it terrified me and excited me all in the same breath. The moment I took that leap of faith, BAM, I was hit. Life felt like a ton of bricks buried me. I felt a weightiness like never before. That getting back up thing and proving others wrong became tedious and unattainable. Yet, somehow I placed one foot in front of the other and kept moving.

I wanted that audacity even more. The fire rose up and burned inside me. I needed, I need, to press on moving boldly in my faith. The more I say yes to this audaciousness, the more I will get knocked down by the waves of life. I am ready. I may be tired, but I am armed and ready. Bring it.

I would rather live a life of audacious faith than a life of kind of. I want to get to the end of the road out of breath not able to move. I don't want to be scared out of my faith. I don't want to take a risk for the sake of Christ because of something that might be. I want to be willing to take bold risks for God.

2016 is the year this girl who likes to live in the safe zone is stepping out. I want to be like Moses who led a group of doubters through the desert. I want to be like Joseph who knew God had a grander plan for his life beyond the 13 years he spent falsely imprisoned. I want to be like David. That guy who made some royal mistakes but was known as a man after God's own heart. I want to be like Abraham who believed God would increase his lineage so vastly that it would outnumber the stars in the sky even though he didn't have his first born son until he was well passed his prime. I want to be like Esther willing to stand up for God knowing that her fate could very well be death.

I want to live an audacious faith. I don't want to give up when things get rough. I don't want to cower when I am pressed. When God says, "go," I want to go. Period.

Audacious. Sounds good. Really really good.

Love & Blessings,
Meg


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