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Baggage

I am going to talk to all the ladies about some baggage I've been carrying around. Guys deal with this stuff, too, it's just a little different. When I was younger there were three of us girls that were thick as thieves. As one can imagine, however, threes a crowd and one of us was left out from time to time. That someone was usually me. I was younger and tended to be a little bossy and annoying. As an adult, I can see why I was left out. However, it still hurt and I carry that insecurity to this day.

Have you ever wondered why people will drop everything, or so it seems, for certain friends but you get left in the dust? You show up to as much as you possibly can supporting your posse of gals yet when it comes to something for you all you hear are crickets? Just me? Well, every once in awhile I find myself in a funk and wonder what they've got that I am lacking? I assume something must be wrong with me otherwise I would receive the same caring, kind, loving, VIP treatment that she is getting. It's a dark place to go and definitely not what we were created for. Relationships weren't meant to be competitions. Yet, oftentimes that is exactly what we make them out to be. It's her against me. Or, she must have something I don't. Or, the worst one of them all, something must be wrong with me.

I try not to let myself stay in that place of baggage for too long. I remind myself that my life isn't measured by how many people are on my guest list. When I lay may head down at night, I am not fulfilled by the attention from others. My cup is filled by the one who sustains me: Jesus. He is the only RSVP I need.

Maneuvering through friendships is hard. We have all this junk from our past that taints our future relationships. We mix different personalities and lots of baggage together and all wind up a mess feeling alone not realizing that we are all struggling.

I am a relational girl. I love connecting with others, loving on them and doing life together. I realize that people will fail me. A lot. It's not necessarily their intention, it's just life. I cannot seek my satisfaction or life's worth in relationships. I will be disappointed every time if I do. My wholeness comes from an eternal God who has a future and a hope for me (Jeremiah 29:11). He has a plan that started before He knit me together in my mother's womb (Psalm 139:13). He is unchanging, the beginning and the end, and the Alpha and Omega (Revelation 22:13). His love never fails (Psalm 146:4). He will never forsake me (Hebrews 13:5).

So, the next time my relationships get murky and I start to feel like the odd ball, I will remember Who fulfills me. I will remember that only He can sustain me and will not fail me. I will still love and I will still try working towards healthy relationships in which we both encourage, build up, and give to one another. But, my feet will land on my Solid Rock.

Love & Blessings,
Meg

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