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Good Intentions

I like lists. I like to create to-do lists for my daily tasks and projects I am dreaming about. I used to give my mom a hard time because she always had to have a list. I wondered why she couldn't just remember what she had to accomplish that day...and then I became a mom and understood the list need. I absolutely LOVE crossing things off of my lists. Sometimes, I write something on my list that I have already done just so I can cross it off. What can I say? It makes me feel accomplished like I can tackle that much more. I always create my list with good intentions. I write things down that I need to do, projects I need to complete, and then the day gets away from me. At the end of the day, the list reminds me of my unfinished business. I don't like that feeling.

I went to bed last night dreaming about what I could accomplish today being that my boys were finally headed back to school after the Christmas holiday. I envisioned my devotional next to my computer where I would read and write in the newfound and much appreciated peace and quiet. My devotional is by one of my favorite authors. Each day corresponds with the current date. It has one or two Scriptures, a little paragraph commentary, and then a question. I started off great when I got the book. I was excited to journey through it and read it every day. Then, I read it a few times a week moving on to every once in awhile, and then, not at all. I had great intentions to read and ponder my daily devotions but lif and other Bible studies took precedent. When I thought about starting this book up again, I realized that my intentions, however I positive I thought they were, were not good. I was going to read that devotion in order to cross it off my list. Ok, devotion read. Check. I realized that is not who or where I want to be.

I am not a New Year's Resolution kind of girl. I feel like those kinds of things set me up for failure. Tell me I'm on a diet and I want to eat all the cheeseburgers. I am more of a lifestyle change kind of gal. If I am going to make a change, I am all in and I am all in for the long haul. After realizing that part of my quiet time with the Lord was a matter of checking an item off the list and not for more spiritual growth, I decided I needed a lifestyle change. I don't want to just read words on a page because that's what I am supposed to do or while my coffee is brewing and then I can check that box complete. I won't get anywhere or go anywhere if I continue on that path.

Instead, I decided I want to feel, know, breath in, comprehend, be moved, be challenged, and get frustrated when I spend time learning about the Lord. I don't just want to read His Word. I want it to penetrate my soul so that there is a life change in me. I want Scripture to be tattooed on my heart. I don't want to read my Bible because that's what a good Christian does and that's the rules. I want to read to know Him more. I want to meditate on His Word so that the passions He's placed in me start boiling and rising up. Whether this happens by reading one verse or an entire chapter, I want my time with Jesus to be more than good intentions.

So, I am starting this year off not placing rules or standards on myself that I need to complete a task. Instead, I am focusing on my walk with Him and how I can know, understand, and live this walk of faith better. There are no stipulations or standards as to how I have to do this. If I only read one verse that day but that one verse took me to new heights in my faith, than I am okay with that. My quiet time doesn't have to look the same everyday nor does it have to occur at the same time. I can read at basketball practice or meditate and talk to Him in the car while I am listening to a sermon from my downloaded podcasts. I can read a verse on Instagram that gets me in my gut. There is not right way to do this spend-time-with-God thing as long as I am doing it and doing it well not just to check off my daily to-do list.

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

Author Unknown

Love & Blessings,
Meg


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