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Madness

I like order. Everything has a place. Everything belongs in its own space. I was created for order and organization. I have been this way since I was a kid. I liked things lined up and put in specific order. I remember my lovies all had a particular place on my bed. My dad would move them from time. Of course I would noticed they had moved. When I would say something about this discovery, my dad would say that perhaps they came alive while I was gone. That would creep many kids out, but, for me, it made me happy to think my treasured cabbage patch dolls had a play date and, more importantly, this gave good reason as to why things were out of place. When we were first married, Scott loved to mess with me and move the throw pillows out of place on our bed. It would drive me mad. What can I say? Order brings sanity to my life.

As I got older and started having kids, I remember people telling me I would have to start getting used to leaving the messes. That I wouldn't have time to keep a clean house. This was especially true, people would tell me, after I had Wyatt. Apparently having three children was going to prevent me from washing the dishes. Little did they know that I thrived on order and would find a way.

A few years ago, blog posts and quotes started popping up and going viral about how good moms had messy houses. The authors claimed that if your house was clean, you must be a bad mom. What? Guilt smacked me square in the face. Am I a bad mom because I keep a tidy house? Do I neglect my kids to vacuum? I didn't and I don't but this widely accepted "fact" that a messy home meant great mothering really got to me.

I can't help but keep an organized and tidy home. It is who I am. We all struggle with something in this thing called motherhood. It just shows differently in each of us. Some of us have messy houses. Others are always running late. We all have our thing. We need to stop telling each other that that your struggle needs to look like mine. Tidiness brings me peace. Things in order brings me rest. I have tried to let things go and be messy, but I cannot do it. I am not wired that way. Just the other day our family was having a lazy day. Beds were unmade. The kitchen had dishes strewn about. We were all still in our jammies at lunchtime. By 2pm I was done. The boys were playing nicely so I took the opportunity to shower and pick up. I needed the house back in order.

The other day I was on Pinterest pinning my pictures of my dream home and future projects. That's when it hit me. STOP THE MADNESS! We have got to stop the madness of comparison; of telling one another (especially mom against mom) that you are not good enough because your life or home does not match mine. This is ridiculous nonsense. I am done feeling guilty about keeping a tidy home. Never in my life have I walked into a fellow mom friend's home and cared about the state of their house. So, why should I feel guilty about the way I keep my home? It is ludicrous.

We are making ourselves crazy trying to live up to the standards of others when we weren't created that way. God creates beauty in us that we refuse to see. Instead, we head to Pinterest or look at our friends to determine our worth, value, and individuality. I am not a bad mom because I keep a tidy home. My boys get my attention almost every time they need it. We laugh, play, and enjoy each other even though the house is clean. You will discover socks on the floor and toys strewn about upstairs. The house is not perfect but it is lived and loved in; a place where we share life and leave the welcome sign out for neighbors and friends. I refuse to compare myself to other moms and friends because I was not created to be them. I will still pin things on Pinterest and do my projects but I refuse to overwhelm myself chasing the perfection in those pictures.

My throw pillows will get tossed on the floor to make a certain five year old comfy while he watches his favorite show. They will be rearranged to make the perfect fort. And then they will make their way back to their spot on the couch in the perfect spot. The kitchen will get messy with flour and kiddie foot prints on the counters after a fun baking session with the boys and then the counters will be wiped clean. This house that God has blessed us with provides us a safe place to land, a place to feel love and experience laughter, a place where we argue and make-up, learn, and grow. I will not worry about whether or not I make the cut as the best mom because of what it looks like. I am me. I will change and grow over time but I will not give into the madness and feel guilty about how He created me because of a viral blog post.

This year I vow to stop the madness; stop the madness of comparison. I will look, instead, to the One who created me and start there. I will be thankful that He created me exactly the way I am even if that means I am a little OCD. I will learn to rest even when there are dirty dishes in the sink. And I will be okay with myself when I want to clean them up. I will accept that He created me just as I am. I will accept that there is always room for growth and improvement but I will not feel guilty for the things He wants to keep in me even if that means the beds are made and laundry is put away. I will love my friends and not worry about the way they keep their homes or what perfect Pinterest craft they are currently working on. I choose to stop the madness.

"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galations 1:10

Love & Blessings,
Meg

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