I have an idol. It's small and can fit in the palm of my hand. It speaks to me and makes me feel less alone yet isolated all at the same time. It's my lifeline to my family, my kids' school, my life's comings and goings. It's how I stay connected to many who live far away. My idol has so many good purposes and uses. However, it does have it's faults. It can consume me and send me into a spiral that I do not like. My idol takes me away from precious time with those I love and removes my vision from the wonder that is right in front of me. My idol is my phone.
Like so many people, my phone is usually within arms reach at all times. My excuse is that I need it in case something happens to the kids at school. I have no excuse for the other 18 hours of the day. I have purged my phone addiction countless times but always come back to that little screen. It's so enticing. Honestly, sometimes it's easier to look at a 6 inch screen and get lost in other people's lives than deal with the laundry pile and bickering kids. Just being real.
What I have noticed is that while my phone is a tremendous help, it is also a HUGE burden. I so easily get sucked into the social media component. I look at pretty pictures and beautifully scripted statuses that I lose sight of reality. I begin to develop plot lines to match what I am seeing imposing emotion and stories that aren't really there.
It's so easy to get sucked into the stories we create based on the assumptions we make to go along with someone's feed. We get really creative. Most of the time, however, these grand stories leave me feeling lonely, left out, like I don't match up, like I don't matter, like someone doesn't care about me, that my kids aren't good enough, I'm not good enough, my husband isn't doing enough for me, they don't like me, they're mad at me....
Do you see how easy it is for me to take something so innocent so far? It's ridiculous where my mind can drift just by looking at one picture or status. Never once do I ask the poster if he or she meant what I assumed. I just assume away believing it as truth.
I have been approached a few times by people asking me if my blog post was about them. They read my words and they sounded awfully personal and thus, assumed I was writing about them. While this blog is about my life and my life experiences, I always come from a place of what I am learning internally and how my walk with the Lord is being challenged and refined and not about anyone else. While a blog post may encompass a conversation I had with someone or a situation I am working through in a particular relationship, I will never come from a place of proving a point about someone or secretly trying to get someone to learn a lesson. It's always about me and ways that I am learning to grow. If a blog is about you or an issue I have with you, I promise you will know before it is published. I don't roll in the secret underworld of implications. I believe in face-to-face conversations that lead to growth and healthy relationships. Anyway, I digress.
The past two weeks I had to take a good hard look at my idol. I needed to lay it down because it was costing me way too much. First and foremost, it was wasting my time; time that I will never get back. Second, it was making me cranky. Looking at other people's lives and making assumptions and stories in my head is exhausting and paralyzing. I cannot let myself go there anymore. Last, I was missing what God had for me. He was and is right beside me all the time but I could not feel him because I was so distracted. He gave me countless blessings throughout my day that I missed because my eyesight was glued to a screen.
I am tired of made-up stories. I want to live my real life. I want to breath in relationships and see the emotion on people's faces. I want to see and hear when someone is excited and rejoicing over something good in their life experiencing the emotion of it all in real time. I want to mourn with those that are hurting and take responsibility for my actions when I have hurt others by sitting on your couch or talking it out at a coffee shop. I want to live life in the real not the surreal.
"You shall have no other gods before me." Exodus 20:23
To put this verse in context, the people thought Moses was taking way too long up on that mountain top. They were worn out and weary and decided to take matters into their own hands. They decided to create idols out of gold and silver and began worshiping the idols instead of God. So often, too often, we read this story and think we don't have idols. We aren't dancing around a golden calf. However, we do have idols. Everyday things that take our time, commitment, and worship away from God. And in that idol worship we do crazy things, think crazy thoughts, and miss out on the life God has set before us.
I took my step back from my phone, especially social media, a few weeks ago and I am hoping, praying, and working towards keeping it that way. I feel more freedom than I ever have before. I have accepted myself and my life for what it is, the blessing that it is, more readily and happily. This life, the real one, is so good. Even the hard stuff is good because that means that I am feeling something real. It's time I lay down the idol and keep it there.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
Like so many people, my phone is usually within arms reach at all times. My excuse is that I need it in case something happens to the kids at school. I have no excuse for the other 18 hours of the day. I have purged my phone addiction countless times but always come back to that little screen. It's so enticing. Honestly, sometimes it's easier to look at a 6 inch screen and get lost in other people's lives than deal with the laundry pile and bickering kids. Just being real.
What I have noticed is that while my phone is a tremendous help, it is also a HUGE burden. I so easily get sucked into the social media component. I look at pretty pictures and beautifully scripted statuses that I lose sight of reality. I begin to develop plot lines to match what I am seeing imposing emotion and stories that aren't really there.
It's so easy to get sucked into the stories we create based on the assumptions we make to go along with someone's feed. We get really creative. Most of the time, however, these grand stories leave me feeling lonely, left out, like I don't match up, like I don't matter, like someone doesn't care about me, that my kids aren't good enough, I'm not good enough, my husband isn't doing enough for me, they don't like me, they're mad at me....
Do you see how easy it is for me to take something so innocent so far? It's ridiculous where my mind can drift just by looking at one picture or status. Never once do I ask the poster if he or she meant what I assumed. I just assume away believing it as truth.
I have been approached a few times by people asking me if my blog post was about them. They read my words and they sounded awfully personal and thus, assumed I was writing about them. While this blog is about my life and my life experiences, I always come from a place of what I am learning internally and how my walk with the Lord is being challenged and refined and not about anyone else. While a blog post may encompass a conversation I had with someone or a situation I am working through in a particular relationship, I will never come from a place of proving a point about someone or secretly trying to get someone to learn a lesson. It's always about me and ways that I am learning to grow. If a blog is about you or an issue I have with you, I promise you will know before it is published. I don't roll in the secret underworld of implications. I believe in face-to-face conversations that lead to growth and healthy relationships. Anyway, I digress.
The past two weeks I had to take a good hard look at my idol. I needed to lay it down because it was costing me way too much. First and foremost, it was wasting my time; time that I will never get back. Second, it was making me cranky. Looking at other people's lives and making assumptions and stories in my head is exhausting and paralyzing. I cannot let myself go there anymore. Last, I was missing what God had for me. He was and is right beside me all the time but I could not feel him because I was so distracted. He gave me countless blessings throughout my day that I missed because my eyesight was glued to a screen.
I am tired of made-up stories. I want to live my real life. I want to breath in relationships and see the emotion on people's faces. I want to see and hear when someone is excited and rejoicing over something good in their life experiencing the emotion of it all in real time. I want to mourn with those that are hurting and take responsibility for my actions when I have hurt others by sitting on your couch or talking it out at a coffee shop. I want to live life in the real not the surreal.
"You shall have no other gods before me." Exodus 20:23
To put this verse in context, the people thought Moses was taking way too long up on that mountain top. They were worn out and weary and decided to take matters into their own hands. They decided to create idols out of gold and silver and began worshiping the idols instead of God. So often, too often, we read this story and think we don't have idols. We aren't dancing around a golden calf. However, we do have idols. Everyday things that take our time, commitment, and worship away from God. And in that idol worship we do crazy things, think crazy thoughts, and miss out on the life God has set before us.
I took my step back from my phone, especially social media, a few weeks ago and I am hoping, praying, and working towards keeping it that way. I feel more freedom than I ever have before. I have accepted myself and my life for what it is, the blessing that it is, more readily and happily. This life, the real one, is so good. Even the hard stuff is good because that means that I am feeling something real. It's time I lay down the idol and keep it there.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
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