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Push

When I told my husband that I was going to write about labor he looked at me like I was crazy. And maybe I am. But, I believe this story clearly reflects how I handle life and what is thrown at me so here it goes.

I decided to forgo medicine when we had our third child. I am by no means a completely holistic person nor do I think I am super woman. I had some complications due to the meds with the other two, so I thought I'd try the natural route. I got towards the end of laboring when I looked at my husband and told him I could not do this. There was no way this lady was going to complete the birthing process. This kid would have to figure out his own ride home. He talked me off my ledge and settled me down. I remember my doctor coming in and suiting up. She also happens to be a friend of mine making labor and delivery a little more tolerable. While she was getting all set I remember her explicitly telling me not to push. Um...that was not going to happen. Everything in my body was telling me to push. I could not stop. Plus, every time I pushed, I felt relief. It was a vicious cycle: stop pushing, feel pain. Start pushing, get some relief. It took everything in me not to push. Everything. The pushing brought the most relief; the most comfort. After about ten or twenty minutes our third boy was born proclaiming to the world that he was here and he was ready to rule. And I felt the sweetest relief I have EVER experienced in my life. I mean, EVER!

The last few weeks have been a complete whirlwind for our family. My grandfather passed away so my husband and I had to jump on a last minute flight to California for his funeral. The following weekend, we had a trip for his work in Arizona. I mention this because I HATE flying. I don't know what has happened to me over the years, maybe it was having kids, maybe it was 9/11, but flying is not my favorite. And there I sat on an airplane four times in a week. Thinking about this gives me sweaty palms. I bring this up because if I didn't push through my fears and anxieties I would've missed something special. I would have missed saying one last goodbye to my grandfather; a man who played a significant role in my life. I would have also missed some precious alone time with my husband and the opportunity to be a part of his work. If I didn't allow God to push me into an uncomfortable space, I would have missed His blessings.

God knows what we are afraid of. He knows what makes us uncomfortable: those things that makes our heart race and gives us butterflies in our stomachs. He also knows that those things limit us and His ability to work in and through you and I. If we allow ourselves to push through those painful moments, He shows up in a big way. Sometimes the push hurts and is hard. He still shows up. He is present in the pain giving us the pep talk we need to get to the other side.

There's a saying that floats around a lot. It says, "Courage doesn't mean you don't get afraid. Courage means you don't let fear stop you." In Joshua 1:9, God commands us, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." He isn't telling us to try. He is telling us to be. I didn't want to continue laboring. I would have much rather been numb. But I pushed through anyway and I would do it a thousand times over because pushing through all that pain brought me our son. I strongly believe our feet should be firmly planted on the ground. But I pushed through the fear and flew anyway. There's many many times in my life where the pushing seems too hard. But I push anyway because I know He is there and blessing awaits me on the other side. Don't be afraid to push today. Get out of your comfort zone and push through that thing you think is out of your reach. He is calling you to be courageous.

Love & Blessings,
Meg

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