My family and I just got back from a week long vacation. It was long overdue. We've had a couple weekend getaways, but haven't had a good long vacation as a family in two years. I didn't realize how much I needed the rest until we got there. The moment I plopped down in my beach chair, my soul exhaled. I am a stay-at-home-mom. I often think that I am always on vacation since I am always home. I don't have an office I have to drive in to. I don't have any deadlines or meetings to attend. Because of this, I convince myself that my life is rest. Boy, was I wrong. Because I stay home, I never leave my place of work. My office is our home. Just when I think I can clock out, someone pops out of bed because of a bad dream or is in need of another glass of water.
I woke up each morning when I'd hear the boys start stirring. I have three of them, so I am always on alert determining what type of shenanigans they are getting into. I'd start the coffee, check on each of them, and then head to the patio to do a little quiet time and prayer. Slowly but surely, each of the boys would meander out to see me. Sometimes they'd bring their cereal sloshing the milk onto the floor. I'd still get my study time done. It would take a little longer and I may have skipped a sentence or two, but I got it done nonetheless. Finally, by the third day, I realized I needed some time alone.
I set my chair down close enough to the water that the tide would reach my feet when it rolled in. I put my headphones in and took in the scene before me. I watched a chocolate lab race to the water to fetch his stick his tail wagging fervently. I noticed the many dads in the water holding onto their little ones and the waves broke on the shore. I listened. I watched. I soaked it in. And then I began to feel guilty.
The day before we were on the beach and Scott began building a sandcastle with the boys. They each had a job moving about creating a sand masterpiece. I sat in my chair and watched. And then I felt guilty.
I should be doing something. I should be helping with the boys. I should be with them at all times because we are making memories and I need to be a part of that memory in their lives. I cannot have down time. I need to earn my keep and earning my keep means doing.
Hold up. Wait a second. This is crazy nonsense times a million.
As I sat on the beach by myself keenly aware that my husband was having to man our children so I could get some quiet, I realized I had to give myself permission to be free of that responsibility so that I could take care of my soul. I had to release myself from the constant responsibility of the doing in order to have a few moments of quiet so I could recenter myself and recharge my soul. Part of my job requirement for being a successful wife, mom, and homemaker is to make sure I am healthy mind, body, and soul. Sometimes that means I give myself permission to rest and be alone.
I also needed to give myself permission to let go. My job is our boys. Not that my husband bears no responsibility for them, but I take it upon myself to care for them 24/7. I had to step back this week and allow my husband some space to be a father. The boys need that just as much as they need me to be their mother. They have so many memories stored up from our days when they were little and it was just the four of us while daddy was at work. This was a time for the four of them to make memories together. The extra added bonus was that I got to sit in a beach chair for a few moments and not have to worry about anyone drowning or getting stung by a jelly fish.
Isn't it ironic that we have to give ourselves permission to live our lives a certain way? I had to give myself permission to be still and let go of the responsibility of our children for a couple of minutes. And you know what? The world did not end. No one got hurt. No one judged me. If anything, the boys got to go for a crazy golf cart ride without their mama constantly telling them to be careful. And I got some much needed quiet time just me, the Lord, and the sea.
This summer of reset thing I've adopted this summer has been very sweet. It's opened my eyes to see the places that need help, the places that need healing, and the places that need freeing. This season has calmed my soul and opened wide the possibilities that are before me. I have also learned to be empowered with the ability to say no to things and not feel guilty. My summer of reset has opened my eyes to love my actual life; the life that is right before me not the life that could have been or is yet to come. To be present over being perfect.
We have 12 days left of summer before schedules and holidays and school projects take over. I am looking forward to putting to use what I've learned this season: how will I respond to the busy when I've learned I need rest. What I do know is that it is okay to give yourself permission to rest. It is okay to say no to things. It is okay to take time away to reset. I am a new creation evolving every day. I am giving myself permission to grow, change, be.
"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" 2 Corinthians 5:17
Love & Blessings,
Meg
I woke up each morning when I'd hear the boys start stirring. I have three of them, so I am always on alert determining what type of shenanigans they are getting into. I'd start the coffee, check on each of them, and then head to the patio to do a little quiet time and prayer. Slowly but surely, each of the boys would meander out to see me. Sometimes they'd bring their cereal sloshing the milk onto the floor. I'd still get my study time done. It would take a little longer and I may have skipped a sentence or two, but I got it done nonetheless. Finally, by the third day, I realized I needed some time alone.
I set my chair down close enough to the water that the tide would reach my feet when it rolled in. I put my headphones in and took in the scene before me. I watched a chocolate lab race to the water to fetch his stick his tail wagging fervently. I noticed the many dads in the water holding onto their little ones and the waves broke on the shore. I listened. I watched. I soaked it in. And then I began to feel guilty.
The day before we were on the beach and Scott began building a sandcastle with the boys. They each had a job moving about creating a sand masterpiece. I sat in my chair and watched. And then I felt guilty.
I should be doing something. I should be helping with the boys. I should be with them at all times because we are making memories and I need to be a part of that memory in their lives. I cannot have down time. I need to earn my keep and earning my keep means doing.
Hold up. Wait a second. This is crazy nonsense times a million.
As I sat on the beach by myself keenly aware that my husband was having to man our children so I could get some quiet, I realized I had to give myself permission to be free of that responsibility so that I could take care of my soul. I had to release myself from the constant responsibility of the doing in order to have a few moments of quiet so I could recenter myself and recharge my soul. Part of my job requirement for being a successful wife, mom, and homemaker is to make sure I am healthy mind, body, and soul. Sometimes that means I give myself permission to rest and be alone.
I also needed to give myself permission to let go. My job is our boys. Not that my husband bears no responsibility for them, but I take it upon myself to care for them 24/7. I had to step back this week and allow my husband some space to be a father. The boys need that just as much as they need me to be their mother. They have so many memories stored up from our days when they were little and it was just the four of us while daddy was at work. This was a time for the four of them to make memories together. The extra added bonus was that I got to sit in a beach chair for a few moments and not have to worry about anyone drowning or getting stung by a jelly fish.
Isn't it ironic that we have to give ourselves permission to live our lives a certain way? I had to give myself permission to be still and let go of the responsibility of our children for a couple of minutes. And you know what? The world did not end. No one got hurt. No one judged me. If anything, the boys got to go for a crazy golf cart ride without their mama constantly telling them to be careful. And I got some much needed quiet time just me, the Lord, and the sea.
This summer of reset thing I've adopted this summer has been very sweet. It's opened my eyes to see the places that need help, the places that need healing, and the places that need freeing. This season has calmed my soul and opened wide the possibilities that are before me. I have also learned to be empowered with the ability to say no to things and not feel guilty. My summer of reset has opened my eyes to love my actual life; the life that is right before me not the life that could have been or is yet to come. To be present over being perfect.
We have 12 days left of summer before schedules and holidays and school projects take over. I am looking forward to putting to use what I've learned this season: how will I respond to the busy when I've learned I need rest. What I do know is that it is okay to give yourself permission to rest. It is okay to say no to things. It is okay to take time away to reset. I am a new creation evolving every day. I am giving myself permission to grow, change, be.
"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" 2 Corinthians 5:17
Love & Blessings,
Meg
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