The boys were standing in line at the bus stop. For some reason, they created a need for a line to get on the bus. It's always a big deal about who is first in line and who is in front. Never mind the fact that they have assigned seats on the bus. It doesn't matter what order you enter the bus. You will always sit in the same spot. Anyway, I digress. As the boys stand in this make-shift line, they get hands-y. Something about boys and their inability to keep their hands to themselves always leads to trouble.
So, there they stand in the line with no purpose poking, prodding, and pushing each other. Of course I nag them to stop only getting a two second reprieve before they go at it again. Another parent enters the picture with his child and looks at the boys with irritation and gives a, "why can't you get those boy under control" kind of look. I watch the scenario unfold and then it dawns on me: we struggle to let our kids make mistakes.
My husband and I have many conversations about our boys, their behavior, their future, and how to parent them so they won't make the mistakes we once made as kids. We are grown-ups now and know the ramifications of the errors of our youth. We wouldn't want our boys to suffer through the same things or make the same stupid mistakes. Or do we?
Life is truly about trial and error. Yes, we teach our young right from wrong, but sometimes you need to dapple in the wrong in order to truly understand and appreciate the right.
When we don't allow space for error in our children's lives, we don't give way for grace. One of the ways we can feel and know grace deeply is by making those mistakes creating a need for grace. We have got to give our kids space for this.
We hold our children back from opportunities for learning about life, grace, and the true need and love of Jesus if we shelter them from making mistakes. There is no sense of need for grace if we never allow for an opportunity to right a wrong. This doesn't mean we let the kids run wild and become hoodlums. It just means that we don't freak out when they do wrong and we don't always run in to save the day in those situations where they are punching each other in the bus line.
I walk along a fine line of wanting to let my kids free and wanting to wrap them up in bubble wrap never allowing the world to get a hold of them. I am realizing more and more, however, that their foundation is strong and they can handle a little bit of life. Jesus has got them and He will catch them when they fall.
Allowing my kids to make mistakes and wrong choices is just as much a faith journey for me as it is for them. In order for my kids to have room to fail, I must trust that my God and their faith will hold strong. This is a trust walk for me. That's tough when my mama heart wants to protect them with all I've got. But, I know they need this. They need the space and the capacity to fail, to make mistakes, to do wrong so they can learn to run to their God instead of their mama.
Mistakes are good. They are healthy. They are necessary in life and on our faith journey. We need to allow our kids, AND other people's kids, the space to fail. We need mistakes to grow our faith and to learn the perimeters of this life.
I promise when you see the Fish boys out in public and they are poking and prodding each other and you don't see me scolding them right away, I am still parenting them. It just looks a little different these days. This is not my excuse to "let boys be boys". I can't stand that saying. This is just my way of giving my boys space to fail so they have an opportunity to experience grace and learn the greatness of what it feels like to run to God.
Let your kids make mistakes. They may come to you a little bruised and battered, but they will be better for it!
'But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.' 2 Corinthians 12:9
Love & Blessings,
Meg
So, there they stand in the line with no purpose poking, prodding, and pushing each other. Of course I nag them to stop only getting a two second reprieve before they go at it again. Another parent enters the picture with his child and looks at the boys with irritation and gives a, "why can't you get those boy under control" kind of look. I watch the scenario unfold and then it dawns on me: we struggle to let our kids make mistakes.
My husband and I have many conversations about our boys, their behavior, their future, and how to parent them so they won't make the mistakes we once made as kids. We are grown-ups now and know the ramifications of the errors of our youth. We wouldn't want our boys to suffer through the same things or make the same stupid mistakes. Or do we?
Life is truly about trial and error. Yes, we teach our young right from wrong, but sometimes you need to dapple in the wrong in order to truly understand and appreciate the right.
When we don't allow space for error in our children's lives, we don't give way for grace. One of the ways we can feel and know grace deeply is by making those mistakes creating a need for grace. We have got to give our kids space for this.
We hold our children back from opportunities for learning about life, grace, and the true need and love of Jesus if we shelter them from making mistakes. There is no sense of need for grace if we never allow for an opportunity to right a wrong. This doesn't mean we let the kids run wild and become hoodlums. It just means that we don't freak out when they do wrong and we don't always run in to save the day in those situations where they are punching each other in the bus line.
I walk along a fine line of wanting to let my kids free and wanting to wrap them up in bubble wrap never allowing the world to get a hold of them. I am realizing more and more, however, that their foundation is strong and they can handle a little bit of life. Jesus has got them and He will catch them when they fall.
Allowing my kids to make mistakes and wrong choices is just as much a faith journey for me as it is for them. In order for my kids to have room to fail, I must trust that my God and their faith will hold strong. This is a trust walk for me. That's tough when my mama heart wants to protect them with all I've got. But, I know they need this. They need the space and the capacity to fail, to make mistakes, to do wrong so they can learn to run to their God instead of their mama.
Mistakes are good. They are healthy. They are necessary in life and on our faith journey. We need to allow our kids, AND other people's kids, the space to fail. We need mistakes to grow our faith and to learn the perimeters of this life.
I promise when you see the Fish boys out in public and they are poking and prodding each other and you don't see me scolding them right away, I am still parenting them. It just looks a little different these days. This is not my excuse to "let boys be boys". I can't stand that saying. This is just my way of giving my boys space to fail so they have an opportunity to experience grace and learn the greatness of what it feels like to run to God.
Let your kids make mistakes. They may come to you a little bruised and battered, but they will be better for it!
'But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.' 2 Corinthians 12:9
Love & Blessings,
Meg
Comments