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Selfish

I am a routine type of gal. Mondays are for the gym, grocery shopping, and prepping for the week. Tuesdays are gym and study time. Each day of the week, I do similar stuff. I like my routine. A lot. I don't like being swayed from my routine. It throws me off and makes me anxious. It seems that lately, my routine has been thrown off more often than not.

I changed my jammie pants to a pair of shorts. My hair messy in a bun on top of my head. Glasses on. Face unwashed. I hopped into my car and headed down the country road blinded by the rising sun. I get to the school and pick-up my belly ache boy. He's hamming it up pretty good but I give him a hug, kiss, and a little reassurance anyway. This is not how I wanted my day to start. I had plans of my own little one.

As I drove on one of my favorite roads, I realized something. God has given me time. I've been in such haste to hurry up and get out of stay-at-home mode and into work-mode that I didn't even see. God gave me time. I have time to get my little one from school when he isn't feeling well. I didn't have to rush from work stressing that I am letting someone down or overwhelming myself with work later. I don't have to call someone hoping they are available to get him. It was me. All me. I got to be his mama when he needed me most. When he wasn't feeling well.

My mood slowly started to turn and change from frustration to gratitude. God has given me time. It's up to me how to use it. I have the ability, the freedom, to make my schedule. I get to spend precious time with my mom who is visiting this week. I am able to host a leaders brunch creating community outside of our Bible study. I have the privilege of being my son's mommy when he isn't feeling well. He has given me time.

The core of me wants to be selfish. I want my time for me but God is asking that I give it away. He knows that if I hold onto my time and fill it with Target runs and chores, I will be much less fulfilled than spending it with His biggest commodity: people.

There is a time and space for errands and workouts. Time to myself is a necessity and needs to be managed well. However, when interruptions throw my routine off track, I will see it as an opportunity for blessing rather than a frustration. God has given me time. I want to cherish it.

“Remember how short my time is! For what vanity you have created all the children of man!” Psalm 89:4

“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” 2 Corinthians 9:8

Love & Blessings,
Meg

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