Skip to main content

Burdens

I began working at a really young age. I started babysitting when I was twelve and continued working in some form or fashion until I turned 29. I thought I would work all my life. And then I had kids.

I was not prepared for what happened when my first child was born. I thought I'd snap back into life and be itching to get back to teaching. I had just finished my masters degree in education and was on my way to expanding my career. I don't think I stopped crying that first day I dropped my son off at daycare. The tears flowed freely. A few weeks into my irrational emotional state, my husband told me we couldn't do this anymore. We began discussing the possibility of me staying home.

After much time, consideration, prayer, and a move half-way across the country, I became a stay-at-home-mom. I loved this new life. I thrived in this new space. I made other mommy friends and did mommy things. I kept the house and got myself involved. All of a sudden, nine years passed and two more boys were added to our brood.

I have gone through a couple identity crisis throughout the years trying to figure out who I am in these new roles of wife and mom. One thing I made sure of, however, is that I earned my keep. All those years of earning and contributing to my life financially led me to put this pressure on myself that I must do in order to earn my living in our home. I carried the weight of all the home/kids things not because my husband expected that, but because I put that burden upon myself.

I was so used to working in a career where your value was measured partially by a paycheck. I felt good about contributing to our life financially. When I stopped working, there was no paycheck. There was no measure for the work I did each day. So, in order to feel valuable, I never sat down. I made sure the house was kept, the laundry done, the beds made, the dishes cleaned, the boys socialized, potty-trained, read to and on and on. No one ever told me I had to do this. No one ever said to me that I was not good enough if I didn't have a clean kitchen when everyone went to bed at night. It was a dialogue I made up in my own head.

"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:29-30

God never designed us to burden ourselves. We tend to pile it on so thick that we can hardly stand. God calls us to a load that is light. He doesn't want us to be weighed down because if we are, we lose our capacity to love Him. And if we lose our capacity to love Him, we lose our capacity to love others. Those are the greatest commandments: love God and love others (Mark 12:30-31). When we've lost our ability to love, we have nothing.

I have learned that my value does not lie in how much I do, how much I accomplish, or whether or not I generate a paycheck. My worth comes in Christ and Him alone. Through that, my purpose and life's mission are birthed. If I am living my purpose, which right now means staying home and raising our boys, than I am earning more than I ever could from 9am-5pm.

I lay my burden down for it was never mine to carry. When the laundry isn't put away or I feel I haven't spent enough time with that kiddo, I will lay my burden down and let Him fill me.

Love & Blessings,
Meg

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Holy Holy

I can't stop singing, "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty." Scott and I went to the "big" ultrasound today where we tested to see if our baby had Down's, one of the Trisomy disorders, or any neural tube defects. I must admit the palms were a little sweaty and the heart was racing a bit. As surreal as this pregnancy is, I don't want anything to be wrong with this precious life inside of me. Well, holy is right. The Lord is not just good; He is awesome! Our little baby instantly began moving and grooving for us showing off fingers and toes and a great heart beat! Even though I am on my third, watching the miracle of life on that screen NEVER gets old! It truly blows my mind every time I get to see our precious angels developing inside of me! The scan came out wonderfully. We got all positives on all the scans the doctor (who was absolutely INCREDIBLE) could do. Now we just wait for some blood work to confirm that everything is okay with our little boy. ...

Tuesday Toddler Tales~A Mother's Worst Nightmare

I lost Jack. Don't worry, he has been found but for the longest I'd say 8 minutes of my life he was gone. I was at the mall with two girlfriends and their kiddos. We were all having lunch at the food court when I stepped away to get some ketchup. Jack stayed behind with his friends. I was gone for maybe a minute and a half or so. When I came back he was gone. His chair was pushed in and empty. I began to panic. One friend stayed behind with all the other kids while my other friend and I darted off in oposite directions. Others began to notice our panic and jumped in the search with us. I saw nothing in my direction, not even shoppers. I turned around and started the other way. I got to the carousel where I thought he'd be and he wasn't. At this point it took everything in my power not to faint. I felt like everything around me was spinning. I was so overwhelmed with where to look. I just kept running, frantically asking people if they saw a little blond-haired boy with ...

Notoriety

Teenage Mother A donkey owner Simon of Cyrene Who are these people? I am sure you can figure out the first one: Mary the mother of Jesus. Who are the others and what do all three of these people have in common? They all did extraordinary things but, for the most part, went unseen. Do you ever feel unseen? Undervalued? I do. I try not to get caught up in that space, but I find myself there too often. While Mary is infamous today, she wasn't when she brought the King into this world. She was a teenager who gave birth in a barn. She was an outcast who was pregnant but not married. She told of an unbelievable story involving an angel, a Spirit, and a Savior who was going to save the world. Could you even imagine? It's easy for us to be in awe of Mary. We know the whole story. She didn't. And neither did the people around her. She had to live it. To top it all off, she had to watch her beloved son die a gruesome death. Talk about feeling unseen and undervalued. She faithfu...