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Hold Up

Can I be vulnerable and raw for a minute? I want to be honest with y'all. You see, I am learning that I don't have all the answers. While I don't have all the answers, my response to so much these days is, "I don't know."

Do you feel it, too? Do you feel like everything is circling around you and you can't grasp at any of it. You hear the arguments. You listen to the debates. And while you may lean to one side, the opposition can make so much sense. So, there you sit. Stuck in the middle. Where ever the middle lands.

I am an educated woman. I am also a Christian. I like to call myself a forever student constantly seeking to learn more: more about my faith, more about parenting, more about my spouse and marriage, more about others who believe differently than me, more about opposing views. I cannot soak it all in fast enough. I have become my father who used to listen to his little hand-held radio only I have earbuds in listening to podcasts on my cell phone.

I want to know more because I want to understand. And, more than gaining insight, I want to get it right.

The Bible contains a lot of black and white. There is also a ton of gray space.

Love your enemy. Loathe what is against God. Fear not. Protect yourself. Open your doors to those others shun. Hate sin. Don't judge. Hold your fellow Christian accountable.

I mean, sometimes I want to say, "Throw me a bone. I'm tryin' here."

My own personal life is complicated. Add a bunch of other people who all have opinions and now you've really messed me up.

I want to get it right.

The only way I know how to get it right is to stand firm on the Cornerstone. The moment I allow politics, or whatever it may be, take up emotional space in me where it has no place, I did it wrong. When I remember the government rests on His shoulders, I rest. (Isaiah 9:6)

We have a need for defined morality. Many find that in organized religion. We look to the religious/the religion to chart our moral course. What if our moral compass, however, doesn't fall in the religious but the relational? Jesus was all about relationship. From the beginning of time in the book of Genesis we see relationship between God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. We can find relationship within creation: time-space-matter. Relationship is evident at the very beginning of time. My morality is birthed out of my relationship with Jesus. The more I come to know Jesus, the more "moral" I become.

When we think of Jesus, we usually liken him to love. It's easy to throw the term "love" around easily and haphazardly. But, can we truly fathom the ramifications of love? Are we supposed to think about that? Or, are we to love unconditionally regardless of outcome? Am I responsible for the outcome?

We like to talk a lot about Jesus and how he loved. We like to connect that to how we should love others. While I think this is great in theory, at the end of the day, we are human. And, oftentimes, we are going to get this love thing wrong.

So, in this world where we like answers and we like them now, in a world of chaos where many are divided on whom we should love and how, how do we navigate the love of Jesus as evident in our lives? How do we find answers to these hard-hitting questions and realities we are all facing?

I don't know.

What I do know is that the more I learn about this Jesus guy, the more compassion I have for others. The more I hear about the decisions of leadership and how that may impact families, the more I lean in to learn from the marginalized and hear their stories.

One thing I am certain of is that the more we seek Him, the more we seek Jesus, the more our eyes are opened to how we must navigate out lives. Not others' lives. Our own lives. If anything positive has come from all this uproar, its that I am seeking more and more to find Jesus and listening more and more to those who differ from me. And it's been fascinating.

There's a big wide world outside my door. And there's an even bigger God that wants to guide my steps. I just have to let Him in.

Love & Blessings,
Meg


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