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Do-Er

I am a do-er. I LOVE a good to-do list. Crossing off items off my list is like magic. I typically cannot sit down until everything is in order. I have a difficult time resting and sometimes struggle with being in the moment when something goes undone. I have been this way for as long as I can remember.

'Moses’ father-in-law replied, “What you are doing is not good. You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.' Exodus 18:17-18

I pile on too much too often. I want to do, do, do so that everything can get done and be in its place when I finally crawl into bed at night. Oftentimes, I get so caught up in the doing that I miss the living. Many times, the dialog I tell myself is that I must do in order to earn my keep. Somehow, in my crazy way of thinking, my doing determines my value. Crazy, I know.

Moses, in Exodus, is showing his father-in-law all the things he has done. Essentially, Moses has done everything himself thinking that will impress his bride's father. Instead, however, Moses' father-in-law sees that this overwhelming way of living was not good for Moses and not worth the bragging rights. When I read this verse taking it in, I realize this was God preparing Moses for what was to come: his leading the people of Israel through the wilderness for 40 years. Little did Moses know that the wisdom his father-in-law bestowed up him would prepare him for the most difficult journey of his life.

I believe God is always preparing us for something. Our journey, our road, is constantly changing. God is calling me to add intentionality to my to-do list. He's calling me to add rest and fun and community to my list. He wants more for me than crossing off tasks. He desires a fullness that looks vastly different than what the world defines for me.

I have learned and accepted that "I am who I am." That doesn't mean that I have to stay that way, though. Accepting that I am a doer does not give me the freedom to overwhelm my schedule thus choking my soul dry. Instead, this acceptance has opened my eyes to see that I need more, my life needs more, than the doing. I need to create space, create margin for quiet, for rest, for spontaneous fun, for community. For I know when I allow those things to infiltrate the list, my life inhabitants an in-explainable richness that only comes from God.

Many of us hear about or talk about the story of Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42) when discussing the plight of busyness. We quote that Scripture and all long to be Mary. What if we could be both. What if there were room in our lives to be both Mary and Martha? There is a time and a place for the Martha in our lives. Sometimes our schedules call for service. Other times, we can sit and rest worshiping at our Savior's feet. We just need to find the right amount of Mary and the right amount of Martha for our lives.
Sometimes that means we pencil in a little Mary on our to-do list.

Being a do-er is not a bad thing. It is not a curse. Letting the doing overwhelm my life is the problem. I have learned to be intentional with my days finding time for the doing and the resting. It's not always easy. I can't say I have found the perfect balance. I still fix a pillow, dust a shelf, or clean a dish really quick before I sit down. But now, I am more aware of my doing and vow to be more intentional with my time. I can't do all things well so I find what I can do and start there giving myself a ton of grace along the way.

Love & Blessings,
Meg

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