When the boys were younger, the last thing I thought about was myself. I was so busy keeping children alive that I lost myself. So many people needed me ALL. THE. TIME. I got caught up in feedings, diaper changes, play dates, dirty dishes, toys that needed to be put away, laundry that needed to be folded, and a husband who needed some attention too. I also got caught up in helping friends outside our home, so-much-so, that I fell into bed most nights completely exhausted and depleted.
I lived in this cycle of depletion for a few years. Thankfully, God is full of grace, mercy, and patience allowing me a season of discovery that led me to a place of fulfillment rather than frustration.
The first thing that happened was I refocused my time, efforts, and energy back into my home. I accepted the season I was in (raising babies) and allowed myself the freedom to say no to things. This didn't sit well with some and I did lose some friendships. However, the reward of freedom I felt lifting others' burdens off my plate that I was not meant to carry at that time was worth it. I still remember the first time I hung with my family without the looming need to run and help someone else. The stress and anxiety was lifted and I was able to just be with my people. There is definitely a time and a place to serve others. During this time, though, I know I was called to serve in my home first and I was not doing that. When I made space for my family first, God blessed mightily even though there was a cost.
Once I refocused my attention from the needs to the outside world back to the world within my four walls, I was able to serve my children and husband fully and completely. This allowed me to release the tension of needing to be ALL things to ALL people enabling me to be fully present for my family. In doing so, I allowed Him to fill my cup taking away those feelings of exhaustion, stress, and anxiety leading to a less depleted state of being.
I knew during this time, the time when my boys were really little, that I needed an escape. I needed something for me to recharge and regroup. One of those things happened to be exercise. When I was pregnant with my third, I got the crazy idea to run a half marathon. I had always loved running. Getting outside, putting my earbuds in, and running has always been therapeutic. So, once I was cleared to exercise, off I went. I gave myself a TON of grace starting off slow going on walks while pushing the boys in the stroller and gradually worked my way up. We all benefited from being outside. Fresh air can work wonders on one's soul. I ended up completing the half marathon and vowed to make exercise a priority. Like I said, working out really isn't about getting skinny for me. Instead, it's an outlet for my mind, body, and soul; a release of all life's tensions.
The last area I knew needed my attention was my spiritual walk. Finding time to be quiet with the Lord when your kids are small is like trying to swim against the current. It's next to impossible. Us Christians like to talk about our fancy "quiet time." I'm not sure where this term came from, but it sure knows how to put the pressure on. I had an early riser, (I'm talking waking up between 5am-5:45am) so waking up early was out of the question. By the time I crawled into bed at night, I was too tired to comprehend anything. I had to find a way to fill my soul that worked for me. This meant that I went against the grain and read a verse in the middle of the day when my kids were occupied for thirty seconds. Or, I listened to worship music. I would pray when I could and didn't over commit or set my expectations too high. Again, I accepted where I was at and worked with the situation. I knew one day (all too) soon, those quiet moments with the Lord would be less sporadic and more regular.
So, what I am trying to say? I think we are all depleted on some level. We are missing out on a filled soul because we've lost focus. We are too busy serving, doing, being leaving our souls empty. I thought the season of raising three babies would go on forever. Because of this, I had to find a way to do more than just survive. Without sounding too cliche, I knew I needed to feed my mind, body, and spirit. When one of those gets off, I break down.
I learned during that time that I matter. If I don't tend to myself, than I am no good to anyone else. I know when I am getting depleted. I have learned my markers; my warning signs. When I get too busy and start to eat junk because its easy to grab, my energy level tanks. When I take off some days at the gym, the tension sneaks in and I lose my patience more easily. Those nights when I tell myself to watch just one more episode, I pay for it the next day and sometimes the next. When the needs of others come before the needs of my family, I am not the only one who loses. There are four other people who are negatively effected. And when I don't give my time to God, the day slips away leaving me to miss the grace and the blessings that were so readily available had I given time to see it.
I don't want to live a depleted life. I don't want to just survive each day. I want to live and live to the fullest. In order for me to do so, I've got to get my mind, body, and spirit in line. I matter. And so do you. Don't forget about yourself. You are valuable...to yourself, to your family, to your friends, and to this world.
"Love of God overflow
Permeate all my soul
Fill me up God"
Casey J (Lyrics to Fill Me Up)
Love & Blessings,
Meg
I lived in this cycle of depletion for a few years. Thankfully, God is full of grace, mercy, and patience allowing me a season of discovery that led me to a place of fulfillment rather than frustration.
The first thing that happened was I refocused my time, efforts, and energy back into my home. I accepted the season I was in (raising babies) and allowed myself the freedom to say no to things. This didn't sit well with some and I did lose some friendships. However, the reward of freedom I felt lifting others' burdens off my plate that I was not meant to carry at that time was worth it. I still remember the first time I hung with my family without the looming need to run and help someone else. The stress and anxiety was lifted and I was able to just be with my people. There is definitely a time and a place to serve others. During this time, though, I know I was called to serve in my home first and I was not doing that. When I made space for my family first, God blessed mightily even though there was a cost.
Once I refocused my attention from the needs to the outside world back to the world within my four walls, I was able to serve my children and husband fully and completely. This allowed me to release the tension of needing to be ALL things to ALL people enabling me to be fully present for my family. In doing so, I allowed Him to fill my cup taking away those feelings of exhaustion, stress, and anxiety leading to a less depleted state of being.
I knew during this time, the time when my boys were really little, that I needed an escape. I needed something for me to recharge and regroup. One of those things happened to be exercise. When I was pregnant with my third, I got the crazy idea to run a half marathon. I had always loved running. Getting outside, putting my earbuds in, and running has always been therapeutic. So, once I was cleared to exercise, off I went. I gave myself a TON of grace starting off slow going on walks while pushing the boys in the stroller and gradually worked my way up. We all benefited from being outside. Fresh air can work wonders on one's soul. I ended up completing the half marathon and vowed to make exercise a priority. Like I said, working out really isn't about getting skinny for me. Instead, it's an outlet for my mind, body, and soul; a release of all life's tensions.
The last area I knew needed my attention was my spiritual walk. Finding time to be quiet with the Lord when your kids are small is like trying to swim against the current. It's next to impossible. Us Christians like to talk about our fancy "quiet time." I'm not sure where this term came from, but it sure knows how to put the pressure on. I had an early riser, (I'm talking waking up between 5am-5:45am) so waking up early was out of the question. By the time I crawled into bed at night, I was too tired to comprehend anything. I had to find a way to fill my soul that worked for me. This meant that I went against the grain and read a verse in the middle of the day when my kids were occupied for thirty seconds. Or, I listened to worship music. I would pray when I could and didn't over commit or set my expectations too high. Again, I accepted where I was at and worked with the situation. I knew one day (all too) soon, those quiet moments with the Lord would be less sporadic and more regular.
So, what I am trying to say? I think we are all depleted on some level. We are missing out on a filled soul because we've lost focus. We are too busy serving, doing, being leaving our souls empty. I thought the season of raising three babies would go on forever. Because of this, I had to find a way to do more than just survive. Without sounding too cliche, I knew I needed to feed my mind, body, and spirit. When one of those gets off, I break down.
I learned during that time that I matter. If I don't tend to myself, than I am no good to anyone else. I know when I am getting depleted. I have learned my markers; my warning signs. When I get too busy and start to eat junk because its easy to grab, my energy level tanks. When I take off some days at the gym, the tension sneaks in and I lose my patience more easily. Those nights when I tell myself to watch just one more episode, I pay for it the next day and sometimes the next. When the needs of others come before the needs of my family, I am not the only one who loses. There are four other people who are negatively effected. And when I don't give my time to God, the day slips away leaving me to miss the grace and the blessings that were so readily available had I given time to see it.
I don't want to live a depleted life. I don't want to just survive each day. I want to live and live to the fullest. In order for me to do so, I've got to get my mind, body, and spirit in line. I matter. And so do you. Don't forget about yourself. You are valuable...to yourself, to your family, to your friends, and to this world.
"Love of God overflow
Permeate all my soul
Fill me up God"
Casey J (Lyrics to Fill Me Up)
Love & Blessings,
Meg
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