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Insecure

I got a text from a new friend wanting to meet for coffee. I replied with an enthusiastic yes excited to get to know my new neighbor a little better. Our sons have become fast friends and I wanted to get to know her.

And then the doubts started to roll in.

I started questioning why she wanted to meet me. Had my son done something while at their house that she wanted to talk to me about? Was this a meeting about something more serious? I couldn't just accept that this person wanted to get to know me and possibly a friendship. I had to let my crazy thoughts get in the way.

"Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

I ended up meeting her for coffee. I hid my crazy as best I could and went to the coffee shop. We talked for two hours. Never once did she say or do what I imagined. Our time was together was sweet. A new friendship seems to have been born and I may have missed it had I let my crazy override the logical.

I need friendships. I was created to fellowship with others. Sometimes, however, I miss it because of my insecurities. I don't think I am good enough, that my house isn't clean enough or pretty enough, or that I don't have anything to offer. I question myself and don't let people in.

When I do finally allow my crazy thoughts to subside and let people in, I almost always walk away blessed. And those rare moments when things don't work out, I walk away wiser having learned something from the relationship.

Jesus was all about relationship. He hung out with all sorts of people and didn't seem too concerned with their opinion of him. He calls me to similar relationship: relationships where he can be seen, heard, and felt. I have learned to let go of the insecurities and let him fill in the gaps. I push myself through the discomfort and into situations I know are meant for me. Because I know that the blessing in taking the risk in relationship far outweighs the negatives.

Love & Blessings,
Meg

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