'The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.' Genesis 2:22-26
When Scott and I were first married, we met with our pastor and his wife for two reasons: tithing and moving. We brought some serious debt to the table when we got married so tithing was difficult in the beginning. Scott also wanted to move out of state because California was so extraordinarily expensive. I, on the other hand, fought him tooth and nail on the subject. I could not imagine leaving my family and friends. Our pastor quoted Genesis 2:24 when we brought of the subject of moving and I knew he was right.
We all know that when we get married, we become one. We are still our independent selves, however, we add a layer of oneness when we enter the covenant of marriage. What we don't realize when we take that step is that becoming one means we die to self and our selfishness to a certain extent.
When asked about how she supports her husband, Maria Goff said she had to let go of the idea that two become one equals me. I about stopped dead in my tracks when I heard her words. They are and were so profound. My first thought was that this statement is so very true. My second thought was how this statement is the reason so many marriages fail.
When we become one with our spouse, we subconsciously assume that means they take on our characteristics. Becoming one means you become like me. And when you don't become like me, well, then you are just plain wrong and need to change. I think part of the reason we do this is out of fear of losing ourselves and, quite frankly, we like the way we do things.
Once we realize two becoming one does not mean we have to lose our identity, we can surrender and let go a little. Two becoming one doesn't mean who you are is gone. Rather, it means you are willing to sacrifice and surrender a little for the betterment of the whole; the marriage.
My husband and I are two completely different people. And when I say completely different, I mean it. We always fall on opposite ends of the spectrum when taking personality tests. He's an introvert and could live on an island alone while I am the extrovert who needs people around all the time. He is quiet and subdued and I am loud and emotional. We are two vastly different people and yet, we have not lost ourselves in our marriage. He is still him and I am still me. We have learned how to come together and make one another better and yes, we have sacrificed a little along the way.
Maria Goff described it this way. Her husband, Bob Goff, is the balloon. She is the string. You see the balloon and don't ever really notice the string unless you're the one holding it. However, the balloon would fly away without the string. You need both. They compliment each other. That's marriage: the ability to go unnoticed so your spouse can live out their purpose. A little bit of sacrifice without losing yourself.
Becoming one doesn't mean you lose yourself. It also doesn't mean only one personality thrives while the other dies off. Instead, you figure out who is the balloon and who is the string sometimes taking turns being both.
I have been married for almost fifteen years. It seems like a long time but I know we are still babies in this journey. I have learned through the years that I am far better off when I meet him in the middle instead of trying to force a square peg in a round hole desiring my spouse to do things my way; become like me. I don't want to be married to me. I honestly don't know how he's done it all these years. What I do know, is that when I let go and surrender in my marriage truly becoming one with my spouse, I experience the deepest love and greatest blessing.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.' Genesis 2:22-26
When Scott and I were first married, we met with our pastor and his wife for two reasons: tithing and moving. We brought some serious debt to the table when we got married so tithing was difficult in the beginning. Scott also wanted to move out of state because California was so extraordinarily expensive. I, on the other hand, fought him tooth and nail on the subject. I could not imagine leaving my family and friends. Our pastor quoted Genesis 2:24 when we brought of the subject of moving and I knew he was right.
We all know that when we get married, we become one. We are still our independent selves, however, we add a layer of oneness when we enter the covenant of marriage. What we don't realize when we take that step is that becoming one means we die to self and our selfishness to a certain extent.
When asked about how she supports her husband, Maria Goff said she had to let go of the idea that two become one equals me. I about stopped dead in my tracks when I heard her words. They are and were so profound. My first thought was that this statement is so very true. My second thought was how this statement is the reason so many marriages fail.
When we become one with our spouse, we subconsciously assume that means they take on our characteristics. Becoming one means you become like me. And when you don't become like me, well, then you are just plain wrong and need to change. I think part of the reason we do this is out of fear of losing ourselves and, quite frankly, we like the way we do things.
Once we realize two becoming one does not mean we have to lose our identity, we can surrender and let go a little. Two becoming one doesn't mean who you are is gone. Rather, it means you are willing to sacrifice and surrender a little for the betterment of the whole; the marriage.
My husband and I are two completely different people. And when I say completely different, I mean it. We always fall on opposite ends of the spectrum when taking personality tests. He's an introvert and could live on an island alone while I am the extrovert who needs people around all the time. He is quiet and subdued and I am loud and emotional. We are two vastly different people and yet, we have not lost ourselves in our marriage. He is still him and I am still me. We have learned how to come together and make one another better and yes, we have sacrificed a little along the way.
Maria Goff described it this way. Her husband, Bob Goff, is the balloon. She is the string. You see the balloon and don't ever really notice the string unless you're the one holding it. However, the balloon would fly away without the string. You need both. They compliment each other. That's marriage: the ability to go unnoticed so your spouse can live out their purpose. A little bit of sacrifice without losing yourself.
Becoming one doesn't mean you lose yourself. It also doesn't mean only one personality thrives while the other dies off. Instead, you figure out who is the balloon and who is the string sometimes taking turns being both.
I have been married for almost fifteen years. It seems like a long time but I know we are still babies in this journey. I have learned through the years that I am far better off when I meet him in the middle instead of trying to force a square peg in a round hole desiring my spouse to do things my way; become like me. I don't want to be married to me. I honestly don't know how he's done it all these years. What I do know, is that when I let go and surrender in my marriage truly becoming one with my spouse, I experience the deepest love and greatest blessing.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
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