A friend gave me a book for my birthday entitled, Big Magic, by Elizabeth Gilbert. I haven't read anything by her since Eat, Pray, Love which I devoured, so I was excited to start this book. I would read a few chapters while I waited in the carpool line. This quickly became one of my favorite times in my day. While I was reading Big Magic I began rereading Nothing to Prove, by Jennie Allen. I read this book before in a book club setting but needed to reread it for a Bible study I am leading soon. I had no idea when I began this two books in conjunction with each other what a great impact they would have on me.
"Through the mere act of creating something-anything-you might inadvertently produce work that is magnificent, eternal, or important." Elizabeth Gilbert
We are all created for something. We all have an inner desire burning within us waiting to get out into the world. We spend countless hours wondering what our purpose is taking personality tests, switching jobs, and chasing dreams trying to let that creativity free. We dabble in this and that trying to find fulfillment for that creative thing that dwells deep inside. We wander. We get lost. We try and stuff it away. But, that creativity keeps coming back pestering us to release it someway, somehow.
I am a go-getter; your typical A-type. I feel a desire to do something and typically find a way to let that beast out. There is a creative that lives deep within me and it's always knocking on my door. I also have this innate need to add value to what I do. I struggled (and still struggle) when I decided to be a stay-at-home-mom. I had just received my Masters in Education when I had our first son. My entire adult life was about striving. I went to college, graduated, went back to college to get my credential, graduated, started my teaching career, and went back to college to get my masters. Every class I took, upped me on the pay-scale. There was monetary compensation for my accomplishments. I could physically see and feel the value of my efforts. You don't get that when you're "just a mom." I struggled in that space for a long time and still do, occasionally. I like knowing that what I do adds value to something.
I began blogging when MySpace made it's debut. I would update family and friends on the developmental milestones of our first born. I was your typical new mommy relishing in every little thing our precious baby boy did. He was a genius and perfect in my eyes and I wanted to share that with anyone who would read my page. When we moved to Texas, I continued blogging to stay connected to our family and friends back home. In the midst of updating, I had two miscarriages. Blogging became my outlet; my therapy. I would write about my struggles dealing with loss and grief. As I was letting out all my emotions on a keyboard, I discovered my passion: writing. Ironically, my dad told me once when I was in my undergrad studies that I would write a book one day. My young self thought he was crazy. Well, he was right. As dads usually are.
The feelings I get after I write is like nothing I ever felt in my teaching career or when I toyed with photography. Writing is so many things to me: therapeutic, refreshing, satisfying, challenging, energizing, freeing. The one thing writing isn't for me: financially rewarding.
So, there I sat reading a book about how we all have some creative space that is antsy inside us and needs to be released just for the sake of releasing it in conjunctive with a book about how we don't have anything to prove and I felt incompetent because I wrote on this silly little blog that is meaningless and has no value. Talk about mind-blowing, convicting, awe-inspiring, and empowering all rolled up into two books and an emotional person.
I realized that God has given me a desire deep within my soul. Writing is not about proving or making money or going viral. It's about releasing what God has given me knowing that I have nothing to prove because He has already proven himself to me and through me. Even if this blog is just a bunch of diary entries only meant for me, that doesn't mean it has no value because it leads me straight to Him every time. When I finish a blog post, I feel closer to Him and more energized than ever. I feel like I have released something that has been welling up inside me under so much pressure I may explode.
"Sometimes the devil sounds a lot like Jesus. If I were your enemy, this is what I would do: Make you believe you are insignificant." Jennie Allen
I tie my significance up into monetary value or the acceptance of others. My writing felt meaningless (and still does from time-to-time) because I have wrapped up its significance into the wrong things. God isn't calling me to write so I can get paid. He doesn't find value in my words only if they go viral. My writing is tied up in Him and He has already proven Himself. All I need to do is obey and in that obedience, I find blessing.
It's funny because I only write when an idea captures me. It's usually in the car or shower and I have to quickly find a piece of paper to jot the idea down so I don't forget it. Elizabeth Gilbert talks a little bit about this in our book. She was talking about another author who said that she would get an idea and if she doesn't write it down immediately, the idea disappears. I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me. That's why I always carry a journal and pen with me. I don't want to lose those precious thoughts. After I read these two books and released my hold on what I deemed as valuable when it came to my writing, the ideas flowed. I have pages of blog topics and I can't write them fast enough. But, as life would have it, a new distraction has entered the occasion to keep me from putting pen-to-paper. I allow life to get in the way. Before sitting down to write three blog posts today I made the bed, switched the laundry, picked up after the kids in the front room, talked to one of the boy's friends for a bit, made a cup of coffee, made a protein shake, and lit some candles. I can distract myself with the best of them. Funny how the enemy will keep you from doing what He wants you to do.
"So if I were your enemy, I would make you numb and distract you from God's story. Technology, social media, Netflix, travel, food and wine, comfort. I would not tempt you with notably bad things, or you would get suspicious. I would distract you with everyday comfort that slowly feed you a different story and make you forget God." Jennie Allen
God designed a certain type of creativity in me. He made it so I couldn't ignore it; a constant burning desire waiting to get out. Yet, the enemy knows the same creativity within me and will do anything and everything to stifle it because he knows that once I release it, lives will be changed.
Don't do what I did. Don't feed your inadequacies and your distractions. Don't ignore your creative spark because there is no monetary compensation. Don't add a value marker where it is not intended. Do release your creativity into the world because we all need it. We are all waiting for it. The world needs you to release your creative spirit. You need to let it out. Be prepared when you do because you will feel more fulfilled and satisfied than you ever thought possible.
There is big magic in you and you have nothing to prove so let it out.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
"Through the mere act of creating something-anything-you might inadvertently produce work that is magnificent, eternal, or important." Elizabeth Gilbert
We are all created for something. We all have an inner desire burning within us waiting to get out into the world. We spend countless hours wondering what our purpose is taking personality tests, switching jobs, and chasing dreams trying to let that creativity free. We dabble in this and that trying to find fulfillment for that creative thing that dwells deep inside. We wander. We get lost. We try and stuff it away. But, that creativity keeps coming back pestering us to release it someway, somehow.
I am a go-getter; your typical A-type. I feel a desire to do something and typically find a way to let that beast out. There is a creative that lives deep within me and it's always knocking on my door. I also have this innate need to add value to what I do. I struggled (and still struggle) when I decided to be a stay-at-home-mom. I had just received my Masters in Education when I had our first son. My entire adult life was about striving. I went to college, graduated, went back to college to get my credential, graduated, started my teaching career, and went back to college to get my masters. Every class I took, upped me on the pay-scale. There was monetary compensation for my accomplishments. I could physically see and feel the value of my efforts. You don't get that when you're "just a mom." I struggled in that space for a long time and still do, occasionally. I like knowing that what I do adds value to something.
I began blogging when MySpace made it's debut. I would update family and friends on the developmental milestones of our first born. I was your typical new mommy relishing in every little thing our precious baby boy did. He was a genius and perfect in my eyes and I wanted to share that with anyone who would read my page. When we moved to Texas, I continued blogging to stay connected to our family and friends back home. In the midst of updating, I had two miscarriages. Blogging became my outlet; my therapy. I would write about my struggles dealing with loss and grief. As I was letting out all my emotions on a keyboard, I discovered my passion: writing. Ironically, my dad told me once when I was in my undergrad studies that I would write a book one day. My young self thought he was crazy. Well, he was right. As dads usually are.
The feelings I get after I write is like nothing I ever felt in my teaching career or when I toyed with photography. Writing is so many things to me: therapeutic, refreshing, satisfying, challenging, energizing, freeing. The one thing writing isn't for me: financially rewarding.
So, there I sat reading a book about how we all have some creative space that is antsy inside us and needs to be released just for the sake of releasing it in conjunctive with a book about how we don't have anything to prove and I felt incompetent because I wrote on this silly little blog that is meaningless and has no value. Talk about mind-blowing, convicting, awe-inspiring, and empowering all rolled up into two books and an emotional person.
I realized that God has given me a desire deep within my soul. Writing is not about proving or making money or going viral. It's about releasing what God has given me knowing that I have nothing to prove because He has already proven himself to me and through me. Even if this blog is just a bunch of diary entries only meant for me, that doesn't mean it has no value because it leads me straight to Him every time. When I finish a blog post, I feel closer to Him and more energized than ever. I feel like I have released something that has been welling up inside me under so much pressure I may explode.
"Sometimes the devil sounds a lot like Jesus. If I were your enemy, this is what I would do: Make you believe you are insignificant." Jennie Allen
I tie my significance up into monetary value or the acceptance of others. My writing felt meaningless (and still does from time-to-time) because I have wrapped up its significance into the wrong things. God isn't calling me to write so I can get paid. He doesn't find value in my words only if they go viral. My writing is tied up in Him and He has already proven Himself. All I need to do is obey and in that obedience, I find blessing.
It's funny because I only write when an idea captures me. It's usually in the car or shower and I have to quickly find a piece of paper to jot the idea down so I don't forget it. Elizabeth Gilbert talks a little bit about this in our book. She was talking about another author who said that she would get an idea and if she doesn't write it down immediately, the idea disappears. I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me. That's why I always carry a journal and pen with me. I don't want to lose those precious thoughts. After I read these two books and released my hold on what I deemed as valuable when it came to my writing, the ideas flowed. I have pages of blog topics and I can't write them fast enough. But, as life would have it, a new distraction has entered the occasion to keep me from putting pen-to-paper. I allow life to get in the way. Before sitting down to write three blog posts today I made the bed, switched the laundry, picked up after the kids in the front room, talked to one of the boy's friends for a bit, made a cup of coffee, made a protein shake, and lit some candles. I can distract myself with the best of them. Funny how the enemy will keep you from doing what He wants you to do.
"So if I were your enemy, I would make you numb and distract you from God's story. Technology, social media, Netflix, travel, food and wine, comfort. I would not tempt you with notably bad things, or you would get suspicious. I would distract you with everyday comfort that slowly feed you a different story and make you forget God." Jennie Allen
God designed a certain type of creativity in me. He made it so I couldn't ignore it; a constant burning desire waiting to get out. Yet, the enemy knows the same creativity within me and will do anything and everything to stifle it because he knows that once I release it, lives will be changed.
Don't do what I did. Don't feed your inadequacies and your distractions. Don't ignore your creative spark because there is no monetary compensation. Don't add a value marker where it is not intended. Do release your creativity into the world because we all need it. We are all waiting for it. The world needs you to release your creative spirit. You need to let it out. Be prepared when you do because you will feel more fulfilled and satisfied than you ever thought possible.
There is big magic in you and you have nothing to prove so let it out.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
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