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Peace be with you

Peace...we all talk about it. World peace, peace in our lives, being peaceful to one another, peace in the stillness. But have you ever felt it; true inner peace? I have. I did. Yesterday. I was very nervous to go in for my procedure; nervous about what it would feel like, what being put under would be like, how I'd feel after. However, I had this overwhelming calm about me all day. I was okay. I felt like I could do this; I would survive. And sure enough, I did.

I cannot attribute this peace to me and my strength. This peace was divine; beyond me and this life. It was better than any peace I have ever experienced. This peace came from you; from you praying for me and God granting me peace in honor of your prayers. I was actually okay. I was okay with being put under and going through a procedure in which one moment I was pregnant and the next I was not. I wasn't crying uncontrollably or trying to escape the hospital like I had thought. I smiled and felt such a sense of calm that I had joy. Yes, joy. Joy in knowing how loved I am and what I would wake up too. Joy in knowing that there is so much more to this life then this speck in the road. More beauty for my eyes to see, more laughter for my lips to taste, more life for me to breath in.

Yes, I am extremely sad. I feel a sense of sadness so deep that it is unexplainable. I long to cradle another precious baby in my arms again. However, the sadness is outweighed by the overwhelming calm in knowing that I, we, will be alright. No matter the outcome, we will be better than okay. God is near. He is here walking us through this. He never left our side. He was there when this life was created, as it developed, and as it slipped away. He is present in the aftermath. Just watch my son as he smiles, you will find Him.

He promises that He will go above and beyond what I can only imagine. "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us..." Eph. 3:20. I know that no matter what happens tomorrow, next month, next year He is going to do great things in my life; things that I cannot even fathom. This is my hope. He is my hope. His grace sustains me. I will get to a place of pure healing. It will take time, sweat, and tears but I will get there. I will pray. I need you to pray. For the battle ahead is not easy. I need peace. I need strength. I need hope. I need grace. I need Him. Please pray for us as we continue to heal as your prayers have already been felt with such power. Our prayer is that the Lord blesses you a hundred-fold for praying for our family. May you experience a peace that is unexplainable and joy that is uncontainable.

Blessings,
The Fish Fam

Comments

Rachel said…
This post is so touching, Megan. Reading this gives me a sense of peace and faith that can be hard to hold onto sometimes. Take care of yourself and give your sweet boy a squeeze. Despite these "bumps" along the road, you are truly blessed. You survived and you will continue to survive with immense strength. Hugs!
Romberg Family said…
Your strength amazes me!!! You are truly an inspiration to me!! Please know i am constantly thinking and praying for you. Hope to see you guys soon!
GioMitchTrev said…
You are such an inspiration to me. You are such a strong young woman. God truly will continue to bless you!
Becca said…
I can't express how touching this post was for me. I hope you know that we will be keeping you all in our prayers.

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