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Monday Musings

This was the quote I was going to leave you all with today:

"Don't flounder when time passes as you wait to see God's promises fulfilled. Stand firm and walk daily in obedience to God'" Priscilla Shirer

As I write these words I wonder if I can keep myself from floundering. Have you ever had one of those seasons when it seems that all you get is bad news. Its seems as though I have been inundated with bad news since 2008 began. I have endured two miscarriages, a death, major family issues, and friends that have faced trials beyond the size of enormous mountains! I prayed a few months ago for a season of joy and I am working vigorously to have it even in my current circumstances.

I received my test results from the embryonic testing and found that the baby had Down's Syndrome. I am sad for two reasons. One, I would have loved to cherish and love on my baby regardless of what he or she had. I wish I had the opportunity to hold that precious child and teach him or her that you are a precious gift regardless of what you are labeled. Second, I don't know what will come of this. I am not sure if Scott and I will continue to try for another baby and that just kills me inside. I so desire Jack to be a big brother and honestly have the sensation that our family is incomplete.

However, this is not my story to write. The Author has a far greater story for our lives. He may not provide what I want but He will provide what He wants. I know that what He wants for my life is so much more than I could ever dream up. He is good even when things are bad. Although I can hardly see straight at the moment, I know He is near. I will be okay at the end of this battle. I will experience joy even though my circumstances at the moment are awful.

Don't get me wrong, I am hurting beyond words. I cannot describe the fear or pain I am experiencing. It is unbearable. I don't know where to turn or what to do. All I can do is pray and pray hard! God will prevail! I will be strong in Him. I just have to grieve, and cry, and be angry, and go through all those yucky emotions. And when I am done, I will be victorious in Him.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
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Comments

Carly Peters said…
Megan, you are so right. You are not the author, God is and aren't we glad for that. So many times I wanted to write my own story and I was sure that was what I wanted but thank God he showed me otherwise and I'm am so blessed as you are. Your blogs are very inspirational. I love you and am praying for your family!
August 11, 2008 at 1:45 PM
Becca said…
Oh, I am so sorry. I will continue to pray for you all.
August 11, 2008 at 2:02 PM
The Bullards! said…
We love you but we have complete faith that everything happens for a reason and in the end God's plan for our lives and our childrens lives is always different than the plan we have set out for them to conquer. Take each day, each moment at a time, TRUST ME! Embrace the saddess but ALWAYS remember to Embrace the positives and the joy.
August 11, 2008 at 2:07 PM
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