Reliance

Last week I went on an adventure of a life time. I always dreamed of visiting the vast city that moves so quickly. I jumped at the opportunity. As I stepped out of the yellow taxi cab onto the busy streets of New York I was transported back to my 12 year old self needing my mom to guide me through. I didn't know what to expect when I arrived in NYC but thought I would be fine. I grew up in Southern California where a fast paced life style is the norm. Or so I thought. SoCal looks like a slug compared to the bustling streets of Manhattan. But, I was with my trusty sidekick who knows how to keep me in line and focused so I knew we were going to tackle this city like a beast. As we ventured around town what I came to realize is that life is out of my control (duh). We walked for what seemed like forever passing men in three piece suits and the homeless at the same time. It was a bizarre yet seemingly normal site. I thought about the lives of those two and how drastic they lived; one on top of the world with all the comforts money can buy. The other, suffering for the next meal in the bitter cold. While we have free choice and ultimately choose our paths, many times things are out of our control. As out of control as I felt NYC to be not knowing my surroundings having to rely on our trusty (and dusty) map reading skills, I was comforted, confident, and at peace when we were out and about. Only God can do that. There was an air of confidence between the two of us tag-teaming this massive place. By the end of our trip, we knew the city inside and out (or so our confident selves thought). Then came the weather report and I went tumbling off the pedestal of confidence I had placed myself on. The weatherman basically said that travel would be a nightmare and forget getting home. Well, that wasn't cool with me. I needed to get home to my boys for Thanksgiving. You know what I kept hearing from the girl next to me, the one I said keeps me in check? She said, "Well, we have no control so I can't worry about it." Gasp. Wait. I worry. That's what I do. Worry. And fret. And play out random scenarios in my crazy little head. However, her words pierced me and were exactly what I needed to hear. It's like God spoke through her directly to me. I could sit and waste my last day away worrying about something completely out of my control OR I can trust God knowing He's got my back and enjoy this amazing blessing of a trip. Thankfully I did the latter and honestly, watching a Broadway musical and walking 14 blocks home in the pouring rain with a friend I love and adore is probably one of my favorite memories from the trip. All because I let go. Now, when I worry, fret, or try to hold ever so tightly onto control, I pray; pray to He who is in control. He wants to bless and guide and enable me to live this life fully and abundantly. I am so extraordinarily thankful for the opportunity God gave me to stretch me in NYC and my friend who loves me unconditionally and also pushes me through those moments. "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 Love & Blessings, Meg