OH MY GOOD GRAVY y'all! I know, Cali friends, I sound awfully Texan but seriously, the Lord could not have been anymore clear to me today.
Have you ever had those moments when you felt overlooked? Have you ever felt like you were pushed aside by someone because a better offer came along? When did you feel like you didn't belong or you looked around the room and everyone seemed to have a friend or was included in a group except you? If I am going to be brave, I need to be honest.
I have baggage. I have struggles. I have insecurities. They make me who I am. They challenge me, hold me back, and give me the drive I need to push ahead. I woke-up having the, "my struggles and insecurities are going to challenge me today" kind of a day. I just felt off and unwanted. I felt like the kid who wasn't chosen to be on the team because I wasn't cool enough. I got out of bed and got the boys ready and off to school, all the while, praying asking God to change my thinking and capture my thoughts. I read Psalm 28 and highlighted the words that described God: Rock, Strength, Shield, Blessing, Inheritance. I got myself and Wyatt ready, thankful I had MOPS (Mother's of Preschoolers) today.
I received two texts from a longtime friend while we were on the road. When I stopped and read her texts they melted me. Her words were exactly what I needed to hear. One text contained Scripture and the next plain and simply said, "You are loved so much." It was like she got into my head and heard all the lies and misguided thoughts I was having all morning and knew I needed to hear exactly those words. I knew in that moment that God sent my girlfriend to remind me that even when I feel like the left out kid, I am loved.
As my morning went on, we had a speaker at MOPS that spoke on this very topic (go figure). She goes to my church and I had heard her speak before, yet, there was something different about hearing her this morning. I was hungry for the words she was speaking. She had us get up and do an activity. Quite honestly, I did not want to get up. I was cozy drinking my coffee and eating my brunch. I did not want to get to know yet another stranger that I may only speak to once yada, yada, yada. But, I did and sure enough, this is exactly what God intended. It just so happens that I was paired with the girl whose headband I had been admiring. We had to share a moment with one another in two minutes describing when we felt brave. "Be You Bravely" is our theme this year and our speaker's passion is for women to have deep and meaningful relationships with one another not just Facebook friendships.
So, as I begin to talk (and cry) she starts crying too. Her story is the exact same as mine. Her brave moment, or what she is trying to be brave about, mimics mine. Ugh. God. You were there. You are there. You were in my thoughts, in my heart, in the messy places of my soul and knew exactly what I needed and at exactly that moment. Of course when our speaker told us what our topic of discussion was going to be with our partners I knew I was going to cry. What I didn't know, however, was the connection I was going to make and that I was going to see the face of God in those short four minutes my precious new friend and I got to talk. With tears streaming down our faces we knew we belonged.
I have been told I am strong and confident, yet in the inner places of my soul, I doubt and question myself. I question whether I belong and if others like me. I doubt my influence on my kids and question my purpose. I feel left out and not part of the in-crowd. These feelings have been with me since I was a little girl. I wonder if this blog is meaningless and often question whether or not I should stop writing. I didn't start writing to have impact. I started writing as an outlet for my soul. But, I put perimeters on it that weren't of the Lord. This is my baggage and my transparency is my journey of bravery.
I think we all want to fit in, feel loved, feel like we belong, and that we matter to someone out there. We want to touch someone's life and impact them in a positive way. At least I do. I realize, however, that God doesn't call me to belong. In fact, His Word says quite the opposite. The Bible talks about believers being foreigners or aliens here. What I have learned is that while He is not calling me to belong, He is calling me to love. So, when I feel like someone has left me out. I will love her. When I feel like I have been overlooked, I will love them anyway. I will find the outcast and love them. I will love those who don't include me. I will love. Period. I belong to Him and Him alone. That's the only belonging I need.
I made a connection today that I will take with me for a lifetime. A quick text from a dear friend and a four minute conversation was all I needed to see the face and hand of God. I will be brave and find my identity first in Him, and then in what He is calling me to do even if that means that I feel like the kid who is left out. My bravery comes in honesty and transparency through the hope that comes from Him. God knew I couldn't be brave on my own today so He stepped in and gave me such beauty that I gained wings. Someone needed to hear this today.
"Be brave. Be strong. Don't give up. Expect God to get here soon." Psalm 31:24
Love & Blessings,
Meg
Have you ever had those moments when you felt overlooked? Have you ever felt like you were pushed aside by someone because a better offer came along? When did you feel like you didn't belong or you looked around the room and everyone seemed to have a friend or was included in a group except you? If I am going to be brave, I need to be honest.
I have baggage. I have struggles. I have insecurities. They make me who I am. They challenge me, hold me back, and give me the drive I need to push ahead. I woke-up having the, "my struggles and insecurities are going to challenge me today" kind of a day. I just felt off and unwanted. I felt like the kid who wasn't chosen to be on the team because I wasn't cool enough. I got out of bed and got the boys ready and off to school, all the while, praying asking God to change my thinking and capture my thoughts. I read Psalm 28 and highlighted the words that described God: Rock, Strength, Shield, Blessing, Inheritance. I got myself and Wyatt ready, thankful I had MOPS (Mother's of Preschoolers) today.
I received two texts from a longtime friend while we were on the road. When I stopped and read her texts they melted me. Her words were exactly what I needed to hear. One text contained Scripture and the next plain and simply said, "You are loved so much." It was like she got into my head and heard all the lies and misguided thoughts I was having all morning and knew I needed to hear exactly those words. I knew in that moment that God sent my girlfriend to remind me that even when I feel like the left out kid, I am loved.
As my morning went on, we had a speaker at MOPS that spoke on this very topic (go figure). She goes to my church and I had heard her speak before, yet, there was something different about hearing her this morning. I was hungry for the words she was speaking. She had us get up and do an activity. Quite honestly, I did not want to get up. I was cozy drinking my coffee and eating my brunch. I did not want to get to know yet another stranger that I may only speak to once yada, yada, yada. But, I did and sure enough, this is exactly what God intended. It just so happens that I was paired with the girl whose headband I had been admiring. We had to share a moment with one another in two minutes describing when we felt brave. "Be You Bravely" is our theme this year and our speaker's passion is for women to have deep and meaningful relationships with one another not just Facebook friendships.
So, as I begin to talk (and cry) she starts crying too. Her story is the exact same as mine. Her brave moment, or what she is trying to be brave about, mimics mine. Ugh. God. You were there. You are there. You were in my thoughts, in my heart, in the messy places of my soul and knew exactly what I needed and at exactly that moment. Of course when our speaker told us what our topic of discussion was going to be with our partners I knew I was going to cry. What I didn't know, however, was the connection I was going to make and that I was going to see the face of God in those short four minutes my precious new friend and I got to talk. With tears streaming down our faces we knew we belonged.
I have been told I am strong and confident, yet in the inner places of my soul, I doubt and question myself. I question whether I belong and if others like me. I doubt my influence on my kids and question my purpose. I feel left out and not part of the in-crowd. These feelings have been with me since I was a little girl. I wonder if this blog is meaningless and often question whether or not I should stop writing. I didn't start writing to have impact. I started writing as an outlet for my soul. But, I put perimeters on it that weren't of the Lord. This is my baggage and my transparency is my journey of bravery.
I think we all want to fit in, feel loved, feel like we belong, and that we matter to someone out there. We want to touch someone's life and impact them in a positive way. At least I do. I realize, however, that God doesn't call me to belong. In fact, His Word says quite the opposite. The Bible talks about believers being foreigners or aliens here. What I have learned is that while He is not calling me to belong, He is calling me to love. So, when I feel like someone has left me out. I will love her. When I feel like I have been overlooked, I will love them anyway. I will find the outcast and love them. I will love those who don't include me. I will love. Period. I belong to Him and Him alone. That's the only belonging I need.
I made a connection today that I will take with me for a lifetime. A quick text from a dear friend and a four minute conversation was all I needed to see the face and hand of God. I will be brave and find my identity first in Him, and then in what He is calling me to do even if that means that I feel like the kid who is left out. My bravery comes in honesty and transparency through the hope that comes from Him. God knew I couldn't be brave on my own today so He stepped in and gave me such beauty that I gained wings. Someone needed to hear this today.
"Be brave. Be strong. Don't give up. Expect God to get here soon." Psalm 31:24
Love & Blessings,
Meg
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