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Present

As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42

When I was little, I used to play with all kinds of bugs, insects, and animals. I always had something in some kind of container. I remember playing with fuzzy black caterpillars on the tile in the entryway of our home. I recall holding a gecko by its tail when the tail broke off setting the lizard free. I tried to rescue a grasshopper with a broken leg and collected rollie pollies like it was my job. I was quite the tomboy and my huge backyard was my oasis. I specifically recall a moment when I was about three on our back patio. I was collecting snails and lining them up in a perfect line. My mom was there talking to someone else. I cannot remember who it was but she was telling them how I liked to have everything perfect. I was teeny tiny lining those little snails up in marching order. I haven't changed much all these years later. I still like everything just so. My husband likes to move things around to see if I notice. Of course, I notice within seconds.

Last spring I heard the quote, "present over perfect." One of my favorite authors and speakers, Shauna Niequest, spoke and blogged about the hectic run of her life. She had gone here, there, and everywhere and while she thought she should feel fulfilled, she instead felt empty, frazzled, and exhausted. Once she realized that her hectic life was not bringing her joy and peace, she grasped onto the present over perfect mentality. As I read and heard her words on this topic my heart sank. I knew I was a perfect over present kind of gal and something needed to change; something needed to give.

I was tired, overrun, overcommitted, grumpy, and tense. I would stress over little details that had no meaning. Instead of sitting with my boys and building Legos, I had to wash one more dish or clean up someone's mess. I longed to have everything in order before I could rest. I remember talking to Scott about this one day. I had come home from something and the house was a disaster. I immediately went into panic mode and, if I am honest and frank, got onto him about it. Little did I know that he had just had the boys clean up their last mess and they literally just started playing with the new toys that were out. It wasn't a big deal. Everyone was happy and having fun yet all I could see was the work I would have to do to clean up the stuff later. I can recall dozens of times I have chosen to clean the kitchen all the while watching Scott play with the boys in the backyard through the kitchen windows. Oh, how I longed to be Scott carefree not worrying about the dirty dishes and sticky counters knowing it could be dealt with at a later time.

I am Martha. I am. I know it and have known it for years. Yet, it wasn't until this year that I started to make a change. I longed to sit at my Saviors feet. I couldn't go any longer. The dishes could wait. The mess would be there tomorrow. This moment, however, would not. God blesses me everyday with moments to sit at his feet. It may be at the end of the day when all I need is a really good shower and Grady wants to read with me. I could miss the moment and take that shower or let it wait and be blown away by how far my little kindergartner has come on his reading. The shower will be there. The moment with my son will not. I am glad I chose Grady. I saw God in that moment.

I could go on and on about how many moments I have gained this year holding tightly to the present over perfect mentality. I have learned to love the mess because it means we live here; and not only do we live her, we do life here. Don't get me wrong, I still fluff and straighten the pillows when I walk by and like things in their place, but, I have learned that the moments when I am still matter more than the moments when I am rushing around in a mad scramble. Another thing I have learned is that it is okay to say no. We don't need to commit to everything. We won't be missing out. We won't be forgotten if we aren't there. I want my yes to be a good yes being able to give my all to that commitment. I said yes to too much in the past. I am learning that this body of mine needs rest and my family needs me. We have had such great moments when we have said no to something and God blessed us through that free time.

I cannot hear or see my Savior if I am always on the go. I cannot relish in His exquisite beauty if I am stressed about what needs to get done. Ironically, I have noticed that the days I serve Him first spending time with God palms open to His plans for my day not mine are my best days. I tend to get everything on my to-do list done and usually with ease. He is good to bless when we learn to sit at His feet. I am still learning being molded and shaped in this area but I can attest to the true beauty that Mary figured out so quickly and wisely; it is far better to sit at our Savior's feet than worry, fret, and overrun ourselves over the multitude of tasks before us. It will get done. It always does.

May we be a little more like Mary in this advent season. May we sit and savor the beauty that is Christmas waiting in awe-inspiring anticipation for the One who came so humbly into this world. Funny that He came in a quiet little barn unexpectedly. I don't want to miss the gift He tries to show me everyday. I will be present over perfect.

Love & Blessings,
Meg

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