"Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him." Psalm 127:3
I opened my back hatch to grab my yoga mat and out fell three sticks. I laughed remembering that I was instructed to keep those important sticks safe for the "fever;" my four year old's current renderings for the word beaver. I grabbed my mat and went on my way into the gym still giggling under my breath. Children are precious. They are a mess of wonderfulness. They have puppy breath and the energy of a spinning top. They make our lives richer and fuller but, let's face it, they also add some gray hairs and exhaustion too.
I had one of those weeks; a week in which time seemed infinite and not in a good way. I'd wake up each morning full of hope. We had survived the previous day and gone to bed on a high note. And then the doom of the day began. The simple tasks I had asked him to complete were not accomplished. He had said he did them but when I checked after sending him off to school they were not done. There was a mishap in the line at the bus stop; a sassy comment at breakfast. What in the world was going on and who is this stranger child inhabiting the loving rule-following kid I knew and loved? You know, the kid that's easy to parent. I was tired, worn down, and discouraged. I began doubting. What was I doing wrong as a mother? Was I too hard on him? Too soft? I talked thru everything with Scott, my teammate. Thankfully, we are on the same page with this parenting thing...so far. We prayed. And talked some more. Yet, every time we took two steps forward, we took another step back and the cycle continued. I just wanted my boy back, but knew deep in my heart that children, while they are a gift, are also our responsibility and I, we, cannot parent them right unless we look up before we look out.
I had just dropped my youngest off at preschool and was driving to the gym. I absolutely love this time. Most of the drive consists of homes or open farm land. I pass the older boys' school on my way so I take the opportunity to pray for the boys during this time. As I was praying for our current season of issues, a thought came through clear as day. In my frustrations but deep unwavering love for my boys, I realized that God felt the exact same way about me as I did my boys. I realized that parenting is an eye opener, a spirit opener, to the very relationship we have with our Father in Heaven. How much does He love me? Eternally more than I love my sons. How often does He get frustrated with me? Ions more than I do with the boys. I guarantee He wants to pull His hair out with me often. Yet, He never leaves me. He never gives up on me even when I have made the same mistake for the umpteenth time. He is still there. Patient. Waiting for me. Waiting on me to realize His goodness and the right path that will lead me to peace and glory.
Since God assured us, “I’ll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,” Hebrews 13:5b
There are many times I just want to walk away from my kids. Not leave them entirely, but walk away from the current situation and not come back until it is somehow magically fixed. I remember when Wyatt was an infant and Grady had just turned one. Jack was four. All the seasoned moms around me were encouraging me letting me know this insane moment in my life would be gone in an instant so enjoy it, even in the crazy. To be quite honest, I survived those first years. I loved every second but I can't say I didn't wish some of it away; or at least wish it to go faster (like potty training). But, as I look back, as much as those were learning years for my babies, they were also learning years for this mama. I learned that I am stronger and can handle much more than I can give myself credit for when I tap into His strength. I also learned that I can nurse on the go chasing a toddler anywhere and everywhere which is a skill in and of itself. All kidding aside, I learned and am learning more about my relationship with my heavenly Father while navigating through the rocky road of parenting.
I know God gives us children with messy hearts. He entrusts us to teach those hearts to move in the right direction towards their heavenly Father. While I encounter daily pull-my-hair-out hide-in-the-closet and eat M&Ms moments, He, too, struggles with me. The end is the same for both me and my children: and encounter with our heavenly Father that is so beyond the realm of this world and Cheerios crushed into the carpet. He is teaching us parents far greater lessons than how to get playdoh off the walls (Seriously, I had to get playdoh off our walls). He wants us to look up to Him before we look out to our children and the world beyond. So, the next time I am discouraged and think I must have it all wrong, I will look upward to my Abba Father before I look outward to the mess so I my eyes can be opened to the beauty that is right in front of me.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
I opened my back hatch to grab my yoga mat and out fell three sticks. I laughed remembering that I was instructed to keep those important sticks safe for the "fever;" my four year old's current renderings for the word beaver. I grabbed my mat and went on my way into the gym still giggling under my breath. Children are precious. They are a mess of wonderfulness. They have puppy breath and the energy of a spinning top. They make our lives richer and fuller but, let's face it, they also add some gray hairs and exhaustion too.
I had one of those weeks; a week in which time seemed infinite and not in a good way. I'd wake up each morning full of hope. We had survived the previous day and gone to bed on a high note. And then the doom of the day began. The simple tasks I had asked him to complete were not accomplished. He had said he did them but when I checked after sending him off to school they were not done. There was a mishap in the line at the bus stop; a sassy comment at breakfast. What in the world was going on and who is this stranger child inhabiting the loving rule-following kid I knew and loved? You know, the kid that's easy to parent. I was tired, worn down, and discouraged. I began doubting. What was I doing wrong as a mother? Was I too hard on him? Too soft? I talked thru everything with Scott, my teammate. Thankfully, we are on the same page with this parenting thing...so far. We prayed. And talked some more. Yet, every time we took two steps forward, we took another step back and the cycle continued. I just wanted my boy back, but knew deep in my heart that children, while they are a gift, are also our responsibility and I, we, cannot parent them right unless we look up before we look out.
I had just dropped my youngest off at preschool and was driving to the gym. I absolutely love this time. Most of the drive consists of homes or open farm land. I pass the older boys' school on my way so I take the opportunity to pray for the boys during this time. As I was praying for our current season of issues, a thought came through clear as day. In my frustrations but deep unwavering love for my boys, I realized that God felt the exact same way about me as I did my boys. I realized that parenting is an eye opener, a spirit opener, to the very relationship we have with our Father in Heaven. How much does He love me? Eternally more than I love my sons. How often does He get frustrated with me? Ions more than I do with the boys. I guarantee He wants to pull His hair out with me often. Yet, He never leaves me. He never gives up on me even when I have made the same mistake for the umpteenth time. He is still there. Patient. Waiting for me. Waiting on me to realize His goodness and the right path that will lead me to peace and glory.
Since God assured us, “I’ll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,” Hebrews 13:5b
There are many times I just want to walk away from my kids. Not leave them entirely, but walk away from the current situation and not come back until it is somehow magically fixed. I remember when Wyatt was an infant and Grady had just turned one. Jack was four. All the seasoned moms around me were encouraging me letting me know this insane moment in my life would be gone in an instant so enjoy it, even in the crazy. To be quite honest, I survived those first years. I loved every second but I can't say I didn't wish some of it away; or at least wish it to go faster (like potty training). But, as I look back, as much as those were learning years for my babies, they were also learning years for this mama. I learned that I am stronger and can handle much more than I can give myself credit for when I tap into His strength. I also learned that I can nurse on the go chasing a toddler anywhere and everywhere which is a skill in and of itself. All kidding aside, I learned and am learning more about my relationship with my heavenly Father while navigating through the rocky road of parenting.
I know God gives us children with messy hearts. He entrusts us to teach those hearts to move in the right direction towards their heavenly Father. While I encounter daily pull-my-hair-out hide-in-the-closet and eat M&Ms moments, He, too, struggles with me. The end is the same for both me and my children: and encounter with our heavenly Father that is so beyond the realm of this world and Cheerios crushed into the carpet. He is teaching us parents far greater lessons than how to get playdoh off the walls (Seriously, I had to get playdoh off our walls). He wants us to look up to Him before we look out to our children and the world beyond. So, the next time I am discouraged and think I must have it all wrong, I will look upward to my Abba Father before I look outward to the mess so I my eyes can be opened to the beauty that is right in front of me.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
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