I recently asked a friend to give me some ideas to write about; topics that interest her. She is getting married soon and suggested I talk a little about marriage. I started thinking about what I could say. Scott and I have been together for almost 19 years, married for almost thirteen. There's a lot of potential material. The first thing that came to mind was what works. We talk so often about what doesn't work, I thought I would turn the tables and talk about what has worked.
I walked in the door and the house was a mess. I can't remember where I was coming from but I do remember the frustration I felt. The first thought I had was, "Rarely does Scott have to walk into a mess after he's been gone. Why should I?" I came in and went on a rampage asking the kids to clean up and doing my best wifely huffing and puffing expressing my frustration for his lack of cleaning skills. Scott finally pulled me into the bedroom to talk this out. After our talk, I saw things from his perspective and realized that what was important to me (having a tidy house) is not necessarily important to him. That doesn't mean he loves me any less or is being selfish. The kids were happily playing. So what if there was a mess?
After this incident, I stopped comparing. I stopped the, "Well, I did this so he should do that" and started serving. I think what works so well between Scott and I is that we serve one another. I may do more than he for a season but, sure enough, our roles switch. He serves me when I lack and vice versa. We don't keep a tally or a running list of who has done what. We just serve one another. Scott's serving me makes me fall in love with him that much more. When he folds the enormous pile of laundry, I not only feel a huge sense of relief, I am so appreciative of him and encouraged to do more for him.
I think serving one another without expecting anything in return is the key. When we serve out of selfish ambition, we are left feeling empty, frustrated, and angry at our mate. I serve Scott because I love him and want to help him. I expect nothing in return. However, the more I do for him, the more he desires to do things for me...like fold the blessed laundry that never seems to end. Our relationship is a give and take; ebb and flow. We show love to one another by the way we serve. I must admit that Scott is MUCH better at serving me. He is more selfless.
I still have my moments of huffing and puffing, but, when the dust settles I am reminded about how he served me yesterday or even a week and ago and I relax and realize that even if he didn't serve me the way I wanted in that very moment, he still serves and he still loves.
"You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love." Galatians 5:13
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves" Philippians 2:3
Love & Blessings,
Meg
I walked in the door and the house was a mess. I can't remember where I was coming from but I do remember the frustration I felt. The first thought I had was, "Rarely does Scott have to walk into a mess after he's been gone. Why should I?" I came in and went on a rampage asking the kids to clean up and doing my best wifely huffing and puffing expressing my frustration for his lack of cleaning skills. Scott finally pulled me into the bedroom to talk this out. After our talk, I saw things from his perspective and realized that what was important to me (having a tidy house) is not necessarily important to him. That doesn't mean he loves me any less or is being selfish. The kids were happily playing. So what if there was a mess?
After this incident, I stopped comparing. I stopped the, "Well, I did this so he should do that" and started serving. I think what works so well between Scott and I is that we serve one another. I may do more than he for a season but, sure enough, our roles switch. He serves me when I lack and vice versa. We don't keep a tally or a running list of who has done what. We just serve one another. Scott's serving me makes me fall in love with him that much more. When he folds the enormous pile of laundry, I not only feel a huge sense of relief, I am so appreciative of him and encouraged to do more for him.
I think serving one another without expecting anything in return is the key. When we serve out of selfish ambition, we are left feeling empty, frustrated, and angry at our mate. I serve Scott because I love him and want to help him. I expect nothing in return. However, the more I do for him, the more he desires to do things for me...like fold the blessed laundry that never seems to end. Our relationship is a give and take; ebb and flow. We show love to one another by the way we serve. I must admit that Scott is MUCH better at serving me. He is more selfless.
I still have my moments of huffing and puffing, but, when the dust settles I am reminded about how he served me yesterday or even a week and ago and I relax and realize that even if he didn't serve me the way I wanted in that very moment, he still serves and he still loves.
"You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love." Galatians 5:13
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves" Philippians 2:3
Love & Blessings,
Meg
Comments