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Wings

The boys and I were driving home after a trip to the store to get supplies for an afternoon of crafts, science, and mess-making. Grady asked a few times if they could have "special lunch" and I gave in. They were behaving so well and, quite frankly, I didn't feel like making lunch. We stopped at Whataburger and I got each of them a cheeseburger and french fries. I thought I was being nice blessing them with a treat since we don't do fast food often but apparently I was wrong. All of a sudden, I hear horrible wailing and crying from the back seat. You see, Wyatt was extremely upset with me because I had lied. I told him earlier he could have a different lunch that I would make at home and instead I betrayed him with a cheeseburger and french fries. Woe is me. I began talking to Wyatt about his heart and how we are appreciative of the things we are given even if we aren't totally happy. After my little pep talk, Jackson told me he had an idea. He explained that he wanted to create a show when he was older called, "Heart Hunters." He had heard me talk about matters of the heart enough to create a show out of my lectures. The show would star three men who went around secretly doing nice things for people to get them to change their hearts. At the end of the show, the men would share Scripture. There it was. While I was thinking about Wyatt being a rotten selfish four year old, Jack was using his wings.

From a little before three years old to four years old, Jackson was HARD! He was a tough little preschooler. I remember ending my days in tears many times. He was smart as a whip, stubborn as a mule, and in a season of aggression. I tried every thing I could think of and took the advice of many many others. I struggled and cried and exhausted myself trying to raise this little person who was smaller than me in size but mightier than me in stamina. Often times I felt like I had failed as a mother. The popular buz-word at this time was "bully" and I thought for sure this kid was going to be in the principal's office daily when he went to kindergarten. Around four years old, I began to see a light and he began to turn a corner. He was maturing and learning how to communicate instead of react. His toddler years were quickly fading and he was growing into a pretty neat little boy. Today, you would never know that Jack struggled with the things he did back then. His heart is pure gold and I don't say that just because I am his mama. More often than not, Scott and I say to each other, "Where does he come up with this stuff?" We are blown away by his faith, love, and service to others. If you would have described the Jackson of today to me back then, I would not have believed you. I was afraid of who he might become not realizing that God was in control the entire time.

If I could visit my young mom self I would have A LOT to say. One thing I would make sure I communicated to the young mom in me is that Jack is who God created him to be not who I am trying to force him to become. Most of our head-butting moments were because I was trying to control Jack instead of guiding him. God's Word says, "Train a child in the way he should go, and he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6 It doesn't say to make your kids into who you want them to be. It doesn't say to stuff them into the mold you have for them. No. It says to train your children. Jack and the rest of the boys are who they are. My job as their mama is to train them using their unique personalities. I think for too long I had this vision of who I wanted Jack to be instead of embracing the little boy God created perfectly in His image. Hence, my seemingly endless frustrations in disciplining him.

Thankfully, God gave me a second and even a third chance at this parenting thing. I was a much different parent after Grady and Wyatt came along. Doesn't it always work that way? Poor blessed first borns; our little practice runs. I couldn't see the bright future ahead of Jack because I was stuck in a moment of parenting crisis I had created myself. Yes, Jackson had some discipline issues but what three year old doesn't? I attacked his issues completely wrong. I tried shoving him into what I wanted him to be and didn't allow any room for God's creation. I am not going to lie, Wyatt is a spit-fire. He is feisty and smart, driven and stubborn. He reminds a lot of his big brother. But, BUT, I know that my job isn't to change him, it's to guide him. So, the next time Wyatt decides that he is going to tell me what a liar I am because I got him a cheeseburger instead of cooking him mac-n-cheese, I will guide him into an attitude of appreciation instead of selfishness and maybe, just maybe, I will see his wings and watch him fly because the roots Scott and I are planting are strong.

Love & Blessings,
Meg

"Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates." Deuteronomy 6:6-9

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