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Do I Care?

Am I serving others because I care about them or because I care what others think about me? This is a heavy question I have wrestled with lately. Why am I serving? Do I want glorification? Am I insecure and serving you to fulfill my need to feel important, needed, wanted? If you give me an opportunity, I will love the heck out of you. You will probably want to find an excuse to get away from my crazy loving self. However, even though I may love others intensely, am I serving them for them or for my gain?

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way." Psalm 139:23-24

I was sitting in the chair listening to my hair dresser talk as she was trying to tame my mane. We always land on spiritual topics and today was no different. She was talking about being offered a leadership position at her church. She decided to turn the position down because she felt she wanted it for the title not as an act of service. She recognized that her heart was not pure and said no even though her flesh wanted her to say yes. She let the Lord search her heart and she discovered it wasn't pure; her motives were wrong. I left that appointment with so much love and respect for her and with a little bit of conviction for me.

You see, I love to serve. I cannot sit still. Give me a need, and I will find a way to fulfill. However, I know I have experienced times when I served for the title rather than the service. I liked to attention I gained from helping someone else out. It felt good and boosted my ego a little. I am just being honest. I don't, however, want to be this person. I don't want to chase a title or a moment of recognition. I want to chase people in need. I want to chase an opportunity to show the love of Christ to someone who feels completely empty and lost. I do NOT want to be seen. I do NOT want the spotlight. I will set the microphone down. I want them to see Him when I come to serve. His hands. His feet. Hear His voice. Experience His presence.

You see, serving others is empty when the motive is self-gain. Service isn't about ourselves. Service is about others. I think we serve for self-gain most of the time. We never set out thinking that we are doing something for someone else but by-golly, when we get that praise or someone talks highly of us to another, our chests puff out and our heads are held high. We give ourselves a royal crown for being so awesome! I've learned that I don't want a crown. I don't want to serve to get something in return. I want to serve because I care about them not about me.

Jesus came to serve. He came to this earth to show us how to battle this very issue. He washed feet. He got dirty. He didn't ask for a palace or a crown. He served relentless even until the bitter end; even on the cross. I want that. I think a life served like Jesus is far greater than any acclamation I could receive. Others need us and not for the sake of ourselves. We are wired to love on and walk beside one another in fellowship, love, and service. We lose sight of our purest form and trade it for pride. I don't want that anymore. I want to get dirty and serve others for no other reason but to help.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves." Philippians 2:3

"Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited." Romans 12:16

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8

Walk humbly, my friends.

Love & Blessings,
Meg

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