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Ugh

"Ugh." That's the expression I keep muttering over and over these past two weeks. It's just been one of those seasons. Everything seems a little more difficult and the days a little more frustrating. The emails are hard to swallow, the mail in the mailbox frustrating, and I am butting heads with the husband. Overall, I feel blah, worn down, exhausted.

Right before this blah season, a few people I haven't talked to in a while have asked how everything was going in my life. Thankfully, I was able to tell them that all was hunky-dory. Life was stable and moving right along. When I answered them, I thought about how my life sounded a little boring. Nothing major was going on in either a negative or positive direction. Life just was. And then the ugh moments began. I kind of wish I was still stuck in the boring.

All I really want to do is go back to bed after I get the boys off to school. I am exhausted from little feet in my back all night long from a pint-sized ninja who snuck into our bed the middle of the night because his legs hurt...or maybe it was a noise he heard...or a bad dream. Whatever the excuse, I am beyond tired from lack of sleep. Having ugh moments continually will wear a soul out too. So, what I want to do is sleep. I can't even remember what good sleep feels like. But, I know if I let this season paralyze me, I will miss out on what God has before me. I know there is a time for rest; when our bodies are too worn out to function yet we continue to push ourselves to the limit. This is not one of those times. My season of blah is a time for me to decide: will I let these moments dictate how I react or will I take the bull by the horns and fight my way through?

Brennan Manning says, "Great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of souls is aborted." When we allow the ugh moments to override and take over, we allow the "great deeds" the Lord has for us to go undone. I have been paralyzed by emotion. I have allowed my circumstances determine my steps. However, this time is different. Sure, I have my breakdowns and moments where I'm off in Neverland with a blank stare on my face. I am determined to push through the ugh growing as I journey my way to the next path.

Steven Furtick says, "Every second you spend wishing God would take away a struggle is a forfeited opportunity to overcome." (Crash the Chatterbox). I don't want to forfeit any opportunity God provides whether good or bad. Yet, sometimes, I wish the ugh moments away. I like the mundane, easy-peasy, walk-in-the-park days that I take for granted. But, if I have an opportunity to grow and see Jesus along the way, then I am game.

So, as I journey from the ugh to the mundane, I won't hide under the covers. I will allow Him to stretch me even when it's uncomfortable and frustrating. I will fail and falter yelling instead of listening and fighting instead of being still but, I will learn and grow and move forward to something better, greater, and beyond my comprehension. He will show me beauty instead of ashes. One day soon the ugh will turn into laughter and praise. I long for that. I push through for that. I love Him for that. When my husband asked to give me a hug after our fight, I sunk into his chest and said, "Life has to suck sometimes. It's ok." His reply, "We wouldn't know how good life is if we didn't have hard moments." He's right. I will press on because I know the ugh will not last forever.

"He has sent me...to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair." Isaiah 61:1, 3

Love & Blessings,
Meg

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