Jackson came home from school seeming a little down and out. We always talk about his day but today I had to do a little more digging. He eventually told me why he was bummed. Two boys from his class set their lunch boxes up to keep Jack out. They told him he was an outsider because he was not on the inside of the little fortress they built. My heart was sad for my boy but we talked through it and just like that, all was well with is soul once again.
We can giggle a little about the silliness of elementary school antics. But, I wonder how often we feel like Jack; an outsider who doesn't fit in to the current mold, standard, or place. I have had numerous conversations lately with different people who do not feel connected to our church. We are a large church: one church, three locations. Our pastor preaches at one campus and his message is broadcast to the other two. Thousands of people walk thru the doors of our church each weekend. It is easy to feel lost, disconnected, and like an outsider. You have those like our family who have attended for six plus years. Then you have others who walked thru the doors for the first time that very Sunday. There are the occasional worshiper and the families who come at Easter and on Christmas. In a large church such as ours, there are many walks of life. It's easy to feel forgotten or like you do not matter.
The issue of feeling disconnected and an outsider has plagued my mind for a few weeks. The conversation keeps coming up and of course, I hear messages on the radio on the subject. Many times, the responsibility to connect people is on the church. How is the church going to get us connected. What is the church going to provide for me so I can feel like I am a part of something? When is the church going to help me feel like I am no longer an outsider but someone who matters? Many people leave one church because they don't feel like that particular one is doing enough to get them connected only to find the same problem at the next church they try. It's an endless cycle of starting over again when it absolutely do not have to be this way.
After I graduated high school, I attended church with my dad. I was in that in-between phase having graduated my youth group and not yet found a young adults group. I was feeling a little lost but still trudging along on Sunday mornings. After church, my dad and I would go to Mimi's Cafe. I cannot remember how many times my dad told me that I needed to get connected. He would take about how the church we attended was fairly large and that I would not have the accountability and relationships I needed unless I got myself connected and involved. It took me awhile to heed his advice but I am grateful that I finally did. The moment I got involved, church came to life. I felt like I had purpose and meaning in my life and my faith and met some pretty awesome people along the way.
I wonder if our disconnectedness isn't because the church we attend isn't doing enough but more about the lack of effort we are putting forth ourselves. When are we going to stop being a part of the problem by complaining that the church isn't doing enough or continuing on the vicious "find the perfect church" mission and start being a part of the solution. A church can offer countless Bible studies, outreaches, conferences, breakfasts, game nights, etc but if we don't lean in, it's all meaningless in our lives. Maybe, just maybe, the problem isn't the church and their lack of opportunities, but the problem is us and our inability to feel discomfort for a few seconds in a new situation so that we may experience a richness in our spiritual journey.
There will never be a perfect time to attend a Bible study. We will always be too busy. We will never know if that person is a future friendship waiting to happen if we don't get out of our usual seat and walk across the room. The church is there. The people are there. Our effort is what is lacking. When the message isn't what you need or feel should be preached, lean in anyways. When you don't feel like the church is offering you enough opportunity, lean in anyways. When you feel uncomfortable because it's a new situation, lean in anyway. When you feel like you don't have enough time to commit, lean in anyway. He can't bless you if you don't take that first step.
"Do NOT give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:25 (emphasis mine)
Love & Blessings,
Meg
We can giggle a little about the silliness of elementary school antics. But, I wonder how often we feel like Jack; an outsider who doesn't fit in to the current mold, standard, or place. I have had numerous conversations lately with different people who do not feel connected to our church. We are a large church: one church, three locations. Our pastor preaches at one campus and his message is broadcast to the other two. Thousands of people walk thru the doors of our church each weekend. It is easy to feel lost, disconnected, and like an outsider. You have those like our family who have attended for six plus years. Then you have others who walked thru the doors for the first time that very Sunday. There are the occasional worshiper and the families who come at Easter and on Christmas. In a large church such as ours, there are many walks of life. It's easy to feel forgotten or like you do not matter.
The issue of feeling disconnected and an outsider has plagued my mind for a few weeks. The conversation keeps coming up and of course, I hear messages on the radio on the subject. Many times, the responsibility to connect people is on the church. How is the church going to get us connected. What is the church going to provide for me so I can feel like I am a part of something? When is the church going to help me feel like I am no longer an outsider but someone who matters? Many people leave one church because they don't feel like that particular one is doing enough to get them connected only to find the same problem at the next church they try. It's an endless cycle of starting over again when it absolutely do not have to be this way.
After I graduated high school, I attended church with my dad. I was in that in-between phase having graduated my youth group and not yet found a young adults group. I was feeling a little lost but still trudging along on Sunday mornings. After church, my dad and I would go to Mimi's Cafe. I cannot remember how many times my dad told me that I needed to get connected. He would take about how the church we attended was fairly large and that I would not have the accountability and relationships I needed unless I got myself connected and involved. It took me awhile to heed his advice but I am grateful that I finally did. The moment I got involved, church came to life. I felt like I had purpose and meaning in my life and my faith and met some pretty awesome people along the way.
I wonder if our disconnectedness isn't because the church we attend isn't doing enough but more about the lack of effort we are putting forth ourselves. When are we going to stop being a part of the problem by complaining that the church isn't doing enough or continuing on the vicious "find the perfect church" mission and start being a part of the solution. A church can offer countless Bible studies, outreaches, conferences, breakfasts, game nights, etc but if we don't lean in, it's all meaningless in our lives. Maybe, just maybe, the problem isn't the church and their lack of opportunities, but the problem is us and our inability to feel discomfort for a few seconds in a new situation so that we may experience a richness in our spiritual journey.
There will never be a perfect time to attend a Bible study. We will always be too busy. We will never know if that person is a future friendship waiting to happen if we don't get out of our usual seat and walk across the room. The church is there. The people are there. Our effort is what is lacking. When the message isn't what you need or feel should be preached, lean in anyways. When you don't feel like the church is offering you enough opportunity, lean in anyways. When you feel uncomfortable because it's a new situation, lean in anyway. When you feel like you don't have enough time to commit, lean in anyway. He can't bless you if you don't take that first step.
"Do NOT give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:25 (emphasis mine)
Love & Blessings,
Meg
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